Is seduction cruel?

FlynnRideHer1 · 2024-07-29T20:47:42+00:00

Looks have nothing to do with compatibility. By approaching almost no one and using a shallow criteria to decide who you do approach, you are condemning yourself to a life of loneliness. And it's worse, since those 10s are approached by everyone so you're way down her list before you even start

The way you get a date with your future life partner is by going on lots of dates with people who aren't. That's the only way to know, is to meet them. So date a ton and when you find that someone, you're done dating. And the women involved are doing same thing you are. It's not cruel, it's a mutual love finding mission, and, no, sex is not a required part of that

Your problem is that you are viewing women as a prize and not as people. View them as people with the same hopes dreams careers and hobbies as you

BravoPUA · 2024-07-29T23:06:03+00:00

You are living in fantasy world.

You are only looking at current physical beauty to know if she’s “the one”. And have 0% legit experience.

So. AFC logic

Pedro_Moona · 2024-07-29T21:10:13+00:00

Too many friends are married with terrible sex lives because the never test drove before buying.

connor42 · 2024-07-29T20:44:37+00:00

I find rejecting as bad or worse than being rejected sometimes

ohmygad45 · 2024-07-29T23:10:34+00:00

Seduction is fine. Lying or misleading people isn’t. Perfectly fine to flirt with, go out with, and have casual sex with women as long as you’re truthful about your intentions. What’s wrong is to lie to or mislead someone (for example into thinking that you’re looking for a committed relationship when you’re just looking for a one night stand).

zebekias · 2024-07-29T21:09:29+00:00

Simple solution: develop the criteria of your ideal wife (other than looks) and approach only girls that you find incredibly attractive. Filter hard-core based on your criteria.

Wean1eHu11 · 2024-07-30T00:08:31+00:00

If your goal is to use seduction to only satisfy your needs, validate yourself and you don’t care about anyone else, then yes it’s very cruel.

If you are honest about your intentions, respect boundaries and feelings, and try to make the dating process fun for all parties, then no it’s not cruel.

Everyone has different wants, needs and expectations for relationships. If you know what you want then live it and don’t compromise or compare yourself to others.

berzerker5000 · 2024-07-30T00:10:45+00:00

I know you are trying to be the moral high ground guy and likely have some religion driven shame stuff going on (that’s why you think seduction is cruel when it is a perfectly natural part of courtship) but the thing is, you are putting the cart before the horse. You don’t find a wife without building sexual attraction, without seducing them. You came from cavemen. You find woman, spread your peacock feathers, and procreate. You find a better one and procreate. Lion’s don’t go around thinking “is this the one for me for life to be my co-captain oh captain!” You need to just deal with your shame around seduction first because you are going to wind up in the nice guy trap and find some sexuallly repressed religious chick that cheats on you later or some fat cow with no other options. You need seduction to not only attract but but to retain, especially chicks nowadays.

0xzeo · 2024-07-29T20:20:13+00:00

Yes it's cruel. As a man you'll go through being publically humiliated, laughed at, insulted and even attacked.

Girls will ghost you, take your money and leave. Girls will waste your time. Girls will manipulate you.

Guess what? It's part of the game. You'll suffer but at the same time you'll have new highs in terms of enjoyment. Just remember the end goal is to build a family not going from girl to girl endlessly.

Trip_seize · 2024-07-29T21:16:48+00:00

You know, you ARE allowed to be FRIENDS with a girl. In fact, just practice being nice to PEOPLE. You never know, someone who you are friends with may recommend you to someone they know. It's called NETWORKING. It's a useful skill to have in your professional as well as personal life.

asanskrita · 2024-07-29T22:05:15+00:00

Just be up front about your intentions, and you will be fine. There is nothing inherently wrong with dating multiple people and having sex outside of marriage. Where people get into trouble is when they are dishonest. Love bombing, holding out the offer of a relationship in exchange for sex, etc. Plenty of women are open to casual sex. Plenty are open to just going on a few dates and seeing where things lead. You want to find those people. I’d suggest that with what you’ve related about yourself, not getting attached to the first person you have a couple good dates with is going to be a bigger hurdle than anything else. That, and if you have some hangups about sex outside a committed relationship, which plenty of people do, it could be hard to be up front about your intentions.

I look at seduction two ways. There is trying to get someone to do something they wouldn’t otherwise want and will regret later. This could be through dishonesty, coercion, etc. On the other hand, there’s the aspect of leading someone through a fun, consensual sexual encounter. The skillsets overlap somewhat but not wholly. Intentions matter. Plenty of men and women play games, often not knowingly, so there can be a lot of grey area. Feelings are not always rational, but you’re not responsible for everyone else’s feelings, just your own actions. It may be good to realize, however, that other people’s irrational feelings can have consequences no matter how forthright you are. Such is being vulnerable.

Jazzlike-Ratio-8094 · 2024-07-29T20:54:49+00:00

i mean u dont look for that type of girls on evangelist conventions 👀

Rough-West-5386 · 2024-07-30T00:00:42+00:00

Lmk if u guys need courses to make it easy on yourselves…

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2024-07-30T04:44:43+00:00

You have a distorted view of what a good relationship is. That's common with folks your age, especially when they lack experience dating. This will change when you get more experience and learn what you want out of a relationship.

If you're only focused on looks and not having a good emotional connection and common values in a relationship you're going to end up with someone you don't want even if they are physically a "perfect ten". You won't know what those values are until you've been dating for a while. I can tell you from experience that whatever bullshit the church put in your head about what you want isn't what you really want. It's what other people told you God wants. They aren't concerned with your happiness or well being.

As for no sex before marriage, I thought I could do that too when I started as a 19 year old virgin. But there's no such thing as halfway crooks. The goal of seduction is sex. After that it's maintaining a relationship, which is a different matter altogether. If you want to get good at seduction, you're gonna have to fuck.

So go meet women, even ones you'll swear that you'll never want to see again (my wife was supposed to be a one night stand) and see where it leads.

McPigg · 2024-07-30T18:04:01+00:00

If your that selective, you will need to knock on a lot of doors to find the right ones, so there is your practice. Its only cruel if you lead them on, just getting to know them with a curious mind wondering if they fit your standards - nothing cruel about that. Hell your not even pumping and dumping them.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2024-07-29T21:23:34+00:00

Attraction isn’t kind, logical, or fair

Title	Is seduction cruel?
Author	SnowNormal
Upvotes	0
Comments	31
Date	July 29, 2024 8:15 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ef9ld2/is_seduction_cruel/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-seduction-cruel.1525710 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525710

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