As always: NO AI IN post guys. Peace.

Another post recently talked about "performed reluctance". Women acting like "they don't want it" when they actually do. So they will give signs of interest, but at the same time act innocent or coy about sex. Or decline going home with you until you come up with a good enough excuse, or wait a few dates.

This is also historically known in the community as "anti-slut defense".

The general ancient wisdom in the seduction community: Women do this to avoid judgement from society, family, or friends.

My new take on this: While women worry about judgement from society, women are most worried about judgement from the man she's on a date with.

In most cases it's very easy to keep her private life private. She doesn't have to tell anyone she had sex with a guy. She can just keep her mouth slut. Sorry, I meant "shut", and problem solved.

When you see women talk about this, in real life, and you also see in in their posts online, they're often saying the same thing "if I sleep with him too soon, do you think he will think less of me?"

You see what she's worried about? YOUR male judgement. NOT the judgement from others.

When I was a beginner, I would still harbor some judgement towards women that were being too loose. And what did I experience? A lot of this performed reluctance.

Women did not trust that I was non-judgemental, why? Becuase the default assumption women have is that a guy is judgemental about "loose women" because most guys are!

But nowadays I have largely gotten past that judgement, I actively screen for sluttiness (I want it and encourage it when my goal is casual sex), and I will give the impression of being very sexually open-minded and non-judgemental.

One subtle way I might do this, is might mention that I was in an open relationship for years while living in San Francisco, or that I have a very open-minded hippie mom from the Netherlands. Both places are associated with non-judgemental attitudes towards sex. And being in an open relationship certainly communicates that too.

When I give this open-minded impression, all of a sudden, their anti-slut defence / performed reluctance vanishes before my eyes. I have become an "insider". A safe guy to sleep with without consequences. Someone that won't judge them for being slutty.

Become that guy. Be the insider. Be the guy she be slutty with, and you will often see that "performed reluctance" vanish.