Is telling a girl she’s attractive/beautiful/hot a good idea? How else am I supposed to imply I’m interested?

_cymru · 2018-01-07T09:36:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

lululenox · 2018-01-07T10:48:14+00:00

"How else am I so supposed to imply I'm interested?"

Deep eye contact. Kino escalation. Communicate interest with action, not words my dude. In the end, people won't remember what you've said, but how you've made them feel.

vpae5b · 2018-01-07T02:42:37+00:00

It is usually never a good idea even if you mean well. If you actually like the girl just act normal and get to know her. Ask her stuff about her day or something. 9/10 times a girl will write you off if you say anything about her physical appearance.

Haber_Dasher · 2018-01-07T06:04:43+00:00

Not usually a good idea. The hotter they are the more often they probably hear it and less they probably care. Find other ways to talk to them or to compliment them & you might actually get them interested. Or if you're going to comment on her appearance pick a specific thing. Something genuine they can be proud of (I told this woman recently she had the most infectious smile of anyone I know, when I see her laughing/smiling I can't help but feel happier) or something that they chose (like a new hair color or 'those earrings look amazing on you, I love how they match your eyes').

cool144 · 2018-01-07T14:49:40+00:00

every girl claims they want to hear this but they don't as you come off as creepy if you're not good looking.

they will know, no need to state it twice

cyan1618 · 2018-01-07T06:04:48+00:00

It's a good idea, but not the best idea, beautiful girls know how they look like, telling them they're beautiful is just like telling the sky is blue.

Telling them attractive/beautiful/hot works when it's not the first thing you say about them, like after talking for a while and she kinda cool with you, then you could say it, for like once, and don't mention it again in like, a month.

Best compliments for women is about their decisions: nice outfit, hairstyle, colors they chooses, hard worker, personality...the thing they want other to notice rather than their body.

ThrowawayPUA · 2018-01-07T16:00:52+00:00

There's an old saying, "hot women like to be called smart, and smart women like to be called hot." This is kind of sexist because it assumes that smart and hot are mutually exclusive principles.

But you can use sort of categorization this to your advantage. One of my favorite group routines is "ok.. which one of you is the smart one, and which is the bad one? There's always one of each in every group." Women often want to avoid being labeled the smart one, and sometimes will declare themselves the bad one. Or sometimes the group will all point at each other (or one individual) as the bad one. You can hook them easily, then reward or tease them and take the set pretty much any direction you want.

But note that I'm not asking who is the pretty one. Women would rather be complimented on something they create, particularly their personality or persona. Hot women know they're hot and while they spend effort on their presentation, they know to some extent this is only skin deep. They know they won the genetic lottery for beauty.

More importantly, hot women are used to being treated differently. Chumps approach her with compliments constantly. They have vast experience deflecting these attempts at rapport-seeking. This is what is referred to by the old "HB system," HB9s and 10s are used to being treated differently than less beautiful women. They have a high self-perceived status, based on the way everyone treats them. So you will have to use a different approach than hollow compliments, like the chumps that fail to pass through her social barriers.

Curia-DD · 2018-01-07T03:19:51+00:00

Its okay to say it once, but it gets annoying pretty quickly if you keep gushing over her.

brethrenelementary · 2018-01-07T07:47:44+00:00

It's a better idea to give her compliments she hasn't heard before. For example, you could say she's funny. Women rarely get told that they're funny because bitches aint funny. You gotta do it in an offhand way though. Instead of "you're funny", when she makes a genuinely good joke, I laugh and say "oh you've got jokes huh?"

You can also compliment her style, her talent (maybe she knows how to paint or something), or anything else that she probably hasn't heard before. One thing I do when I open is cold read and say something like "I'm guessing you work in fashion or something artistic because you've got nice style."

Complimenting her appearance especially early on before you know her puts you in the same group as all the other guys who've hit on her and commented on her appearance. Stand out in a good way and give genuine, unordinary compliments instead.

Curia-DD · 2018-01-07T10:45:53+00:00

Sure. I always do that. I've had stunning women get all giddy when they're told they're cute. Just because they hear it all day doesn't matter. It's who says it that matters. Imagine they have a crush on a guy and he tells her shes beautiful with strong eye contact and good intonation. You think she's going to say, "Oh, he's just like everything other guy"? No. That's stupid.

Some guys prefer to be indirect and if that works for them, cool, but if anyone tells you that it's ineffective to be direct, they're either keyboard jockeying or have never seen a guy work direct game right. I have hundreds of anecdotes from myself and first hand accounts of other men being highly complimentary to prove it works.

The guys who are over logicizing this are thinking from a male framework. Don't listen to it. It's bollocks.

The trick is making yourself attractive, so that she takes the compliment seriously (it has weight behind it). Also you have to deliver it right so it's genuine.

So genuine + meaningful (It's coming from an attractive guy so when he says a girl is cute, it's true) = wet pussy.

caesarfecit · 2018-01-07T07:28:22+00:00

Girls like guys when they aren't sure how into them they are. It's what makes flirting fun and a challenge for them. Telling them you like them straight up ruins that.

So instead you imply it. You compliment her regarding specific things she does and says as you build rapport and you frame it as expressing your likes and values, rather than about her. You say something is cute. You reward her with more attention when she works for your approval, and you express your sexual attraction for her indirectly in the same fashion, ideally once again as she's working for your approval.

If you don't give off any hints that you like her, she'll think you're not interested or you don't like her. You shower her with attention and she'll take you for granted. Strike a balance and learn to appreciate the give and take that is good flirting.

DirtyLilSeekReddit · 2018-01-07T16:40:31+00:00

She already knows you want a piece of her. She’s known this since she was old enough to know that men have cocks. She’s been hounded he whole life by men letting her know he really really want to have sex with her. She knows, dude. Every woman knows this. She knows your interested. Now give HER a reason to BE interested in you. note because almost every guy she has ever met want to have sex with her, she has options other than you.

If you want her you have hold her attention and be more interesting than all those other men. Your best option?

Make her laugh. Seriously, best way to get close to her.

macaroon18 · 2018-01-07T05:32:39+00:00

Its not what you say so much as how and why

Do-it-for-you · 2018-01-07T12:30:50+00:00

It's pretty much never a good idea, think about it like this, every single day they're complimented by men and women alike saying things like "You're pretty", "You're hot", "I love your makeup", etc, eventually the women gets used to this and it doesn't effect her anymore.

Then you come along and go "You're beautiful", it's the 2500th time she's heard that now, the 3rd time she's heard it that day, she's going to think "I know, you're the 5th guy who's said that this week". Also by complimenting her on her appearance, she'll think that the only reason you like her is because she looks good which is never a good view for a woman to have of you.

If you're going to compliment her, compliment her personality, tell her she's interesting, funny, that you enjoyed hanging out. Make her feel wanted by more than just her looks.

2018-01-07T11:57:44+00:00

Never tell something like this if you are interested in her. I only tell compliments to girls I have no interest with, fat ones (but they also can dress nice, so I give a compliment), ugly girls, taken girls, married women etc.

recyclablebanthas · 2018-01-08T02:53:42+00:00

____1____

Is telling a girl she’s attractive/beautiful/hot a good idea?

This idea has been floating around for a LONG time. The problem with it, is not that she already knows.

The problem with it, is that it doesn't leave the conversation anywhere to go, and it's too easy to come off like you're trying to trade a compliment (an unimaginative compliment, at that) for some sort of approval from her.

Can you compliment? If you can do it as part of an observation, and the compliment is not simply appearance based but goes deeper, then it can be perfectly fine. David Wygant gets into this in more detail.

____2____

How else am I supposed to imply I’m interested?

How else? Yikes, man. Verbally is really one of the weakest ways to show interest. Actions speak louder than words; what you do will mean more than words, at least initially. Escalation is what I"m talking about.

And that escalation doesn't just mean the stereotypical big moves like coming in for a kiss or whatever. I'm talking about how comfortable you are in your own body and how comfortable you are simply testing the outside boundaries of her own space.

Simply edging into her space can show interest. Safe, non-sexual touches like high fives. And so on.

Also, PAYING ATTENTION to her is literally one of the best ways to show attention. Like this is textbook. You don't need magic tricks. You don't need some magical book of flirting tricks. Just pay attention and talk to her like a human.

____3____

I myself can't imagine how I could 'lightly' touch (Which I imagine to be a tap or pat) a girl's shoulder without it looking awkward.

Observe people more when you're out in public. People all around you are often demonstrating the opening phases of kino. It's not hard to see it all around. Even just the way that people mind their own personal space, making adjustments to the people around them.

potatoes-and-rice · 2018-01-07T07:36:05+00:00

As a 24F I can tell you that all girls can tell the difference between complimenting someone because you mean it, or because you want something out of her. To learn the difference, how to flirt, etc, read “Models” by Mark Manson.

Lord_Augastus · 2018-01-07T11:40:16+00:00

Have you tried flirting? As in casually directing conversation into sexual nature. Its all situational, her clothes, her behaviour (is she shy, confident, defencive) and use that in a sexualised overtone (never outright saying anything). You talk to her, about what she is doing. Her attractive features. Eg (implying sex is bad), implying sexual nature isnt. Like I ride bikes, so occasionally out of the blue i ask her if she wants to go for a ride sometime, maybe she does she doesnt. Talk about riding horses, riding cowgirl, smooth as fuck!

chiminage · 2018-01-07T16:58:02+00:00

Never state the obvious

Moz1234 · 2018-01-07T17:52:05+00:00

It depends. Are you a model? Do you have unlimited money? If so, then yes.

Otherwise, no.

scaredofshaka · 2018-01-07T09:50:46+00:00

I think a nice compliment from time to time is not a bad thing, like a "you look great by the way" when you greet her, if she put on some efforts that day. Otherwise, if things are not moving forward, I would go for sexual/flirtatious banter rather than straight up compliments.

Curia-DD · 2018-01-07T12:34:27+00:00

I added some comments below but really what we respond to is being genuine and meaningful, not saying the same thing we have heard a hundred times, saying it with confidence and not coming off like a sleazeball. Tell me something I haven't heard much before and say it the right way. :)

TroiasAchilles · 2018-01-07T13:39:49+00:00

If you don't know them very well then no. If you're seeing them or have already hooked up its generally ok

Edwinpowpow · 2018-01-07T16:38:28+00:00

You should let women know you find them attractive often.. like very often, compliments make people feel good but it’s lazy to say “you’re attractive” try saying why you find them attractive it’s more genuine and you will hopefully get a better response.

Not_unique_enuf · 2018-01-07T17:28:50+00:00

It worked for many and myself. Most girls respond to it positively.

AlfredJFuzzywinkle · 2018-01-07T17:31:27+00:00

It depends how you go about it. Often girls put significant effort into their appearance; they also value complements that show you are paying attention without sexually objectifying them. For example: that sweater color really brings out the blue in your eyes!

Or what an interesting necklace (or tattoo or ring etc) is there a story behind it?

The point is acknowledge her good looks but focus of more!

LimitedContributor · 2018-01-07T17:44:45+00:00

I know not to compliment a girl at all now. If I go up to her, that's it. She will know that I like her.

2018-01-07T22:18:25+00:00

Never. Ever. Maybe something silly, like, “Damn, girl. Look at your elbows! Those are the finest elbows I’ve ever seen.” And never in any way that you put her above you. Gently picking on her, yet showing interest, while maintaining your own sense that you are a catch is what I would recommend.

oyoungpadawan · 2018-01-08T03:12:40+00:00

Whenever I tell a hot girl she's hot, it's over. However if it's a normal girl, do tell her!!

-AsadBajwa94 · 2018-01-08T06:01:06+00:00

Before talking to a girl you find attractive wear a t-shirt that says "Sorry ladies, I only date modelz"

works every time, trust me.

ricedude · 2018-01-08T18:18:10+00:00

I'm reading a book called "Open her, 7 archetypes for masculinity" and the second archetype, the Poet, relates to what you are saying here.

The Poet is master of understanding and expressing exactly what in a woman inspires him to approach her and want to be with her.

Women love to be told they are beautiful, but only in a way that is specific to them. They like being seen on the surface level, but more importantly they want to be seen as a person.

Compliments that are too general, even if genuine and heartfelt, are cheap if they do not highlight something specific about the women you are giving them to.

What sounds better? "You are so nice!" or "I love how you go out of your way to make others feel important and special.

"You look great tonight" or "that dress with those heels makes you look so refined and sexy that I want to buy you a martini"

You can even be vague and mysterious if you just like the physical - instead of "hi I like your ass" say "there's something about you, I had to say and say hi"

Both phrases are compliments, but the ladder shows that you are really paying attention to her. Compliment the person and the personality, not simply the object they possess.

Ask yourself what exactly about her (besides her tits ass and waist) turn you on, then tell her exactly what you are feeling.

DirtyLilSeekReddit · 2018-01-10T01:28:33+00:00

If you’re willing to put effort into your appearance and yourself in general then you are already way ahead of a lot of men.

DirtyLilSeekReddit · 2018-01-10T01:30:01+00:00

Smile and make her laugh. It’s the best to gain her attention and not come off as creepy or awkward.

Signor1968 · 2018-01-24T18:26:05+00:00

Yap that was bad move bro :( You have very nice, free and very detailed Guide http://catch-women.com that can you put some light on what are big "no no"s when it come to male-female relationships...

Kavalicious · 2018-01-07T07:36:18+00:00

Follow on question, which tactic do you think is more powerful: a) Telling a girl you think she is attractive, BUT, also mentioning other girls you find attractive or are into. b) Not mentioning she is attractive at all.

2018-01-07T13:56:03+00:00

Well you can wave your dick around, then she'll definitely know your interested

Aristox · 2018-01-07T07:06:13+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Aristox · 2018-01-07T12:31:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Conor_Niggregor · 2018-01-07T02:17:27+00:00

I’ve told girls they were attractive before, and I’m 99% sure that was a bad move.

it was a very bad move

I don’t know how to flirt otherwise.

jesus. you need to go on youtube and look at some infield pickup videos

Dazzling_Bumblebee16 · 2022-05-21T02:08:39+00:00

Nah ask her if anyones called her beautiful today, then when she responds just say “oh, just curious”

Title	Is telling a girl she’s attractive/beautiful/hot a good idea? How else am I supposed to imply I’m interested?
Author	WritingAltForever
Upvotes	150
Comments	81
Date	January 7, 2018 2:08 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7onsm4/is_telling_a_girl_shes_attractivebeautifulhot_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-telling-a-girl-shes-attractivebeautifulhot-a.1439647 https://theredarchive.com/post/1439647

Comments