Getting nowhere... getting depressed

joffy · 2010-10-05T04:20:41+00:00

While its good you got the numbers - realize - that numbers mean very VERY little.

It sounds like you made getting numbers your goal and succeeded. Thats good. But its not getting laid. Keep getting the numbers but now concentrate on getting follow thru - so for one - start working on making the GIRL ASK FOR YOUR NUMBER (oh and by the way even in those cases it will be really hard to get them not to flake).

Making a compelling enough case for her to WANT to hang out with you again.

Finally work on phone game and text game.

You talk of getting 6 numbers like its an achievement. Its only an achievement however - if this is something that you've integrated into your life. Meaning its now an afterthought.

Its like a really really fat guy who wants to run a marathon, has ran 1 mile 6 times, and complains about how hard it is and he is depressed. You're well on your way, but this 1st mile you've ran 6 times is something that you need to integrate into your life and do totally effortlessly if you're hoping to run not 1 but multiple marathons :) EDIT [what im saying you will run into much more interesting and complex problems along every single step to getting laid - if - that is - you do it enough times. Some girls will be super hard to befriend but once you're in it will be non stop sex, others will be all over you, but once it comes to sex will be a total cold fish and will have major LMR so learn to enjoy the challenge :]

So you're ok, keep at it, set bigger goals and get them achieved. Do not settle. Do not stop before you get to your goal.

ThrowawayPUA · 2010-10-05T03:33:48+00:00

Women are always going to flake out and not answer or return your calls. Even the best PUAs in the world have women flake on them. It is nothing personal. And you're going to have to get over the rejection. There's an old PUA saying, "the more you get rejected, the more you get laid." If you're not getting a lot of rejections, you're not taking any chances. You took some chances, got some modest payoffs with some number closes, but it didn't go as far as you want. Keep going. I do dozens and dozens of approaches, and I'm 52 in a college town, I keep hitting on girls young enough to be my granddaughter. And I am deliberately putting myself in the path of rejection. My goal is to be rejected a thousand times. By now I must be well into the hundreds of rejections, and there is hardly any sting left. I even look forward to it somewhat, because it is a sign I took some risks, and I learned more about social interactions. Keep pushing the limits, take more risks, and some of them will pay off. The ones that don't are a learning experience. Your goal is not to get girls. Your goal is to improve your game so you will always be able to get girls, and so you will have enough game to get the girl you really want, when the opportunity comes along. So don't get attached to the results of any one interaction with a girl. This is a long term game. You are only learning the rules now. Focus on learning the game, and the rest will take care of itself.

cbraga · 2010-10-05T06:17:15+00:00

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Eschewy · 2010-10-05T04:12:14+00:00

Read some stuff by Paul Janka. The guy is over 6 foot tall, good looking, well dressed, and walks around getting phone numbers in Manhattan like a machine (like 45 per week), and he still only closes about 11% of the phone numbers he gets. Now, I'm just starting out, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but keep at it and you'll get dates. Don't expect a lot of girls to respond.

In the mean time, work on other stuff in your life when you're not thinking about girls. Hang out with friends & family, work on hobbies, advancing your career, making your apartment look nice, improving your wardrobe, etc. It should help take the sting out of dealing with false leads.

kerm · 2010-10-05T03:50:16+00:00

Were they six real numbers? If so, I wouldn't feel bad, especially if you met them at a bar or something. I imagine girls often sober up, don't remember things too well and simply get cold feet. Did you even kiss/make-out with any of these chicks?

I'm just starting out so don't take my advice, but I would like someone's opinion on the following:

That's why I'm sort of digging the idea of Gunwitch's f-close or bust policy - sex is the only goal - not dates, not phone numbers. He puts the odds at 1/300 for a number-close to go anywhere. That's an exaggeration I hope, but it makes sense to me. Unless you built-up a ton of rapport, she'll probably just lose interest in the meantime.

2010-10-05T06:59:23+00:00

Up your game so they ask for your number. That way you know she's interested.

rmbarnes · 2010-10-05T11:57:02+00:00

I'm starting to realise that the PUA world has two dirty secrets:

The time investment needed to fuck loads of girls is huge
Girls flake, a lot

I'd say open 100 sets, get around 10 numbers. If you don't get a day 2 with at least 3 of the girls post some field reports on the sets you number closed.

I'm crap at number closing, but one thing I have realised from going out with other PUAs who number close frequently is that girls would rather give their number out to a guy they have no intention of seeing again than to say no to him face to face. Many guys just seem to chat to a girl for 5 minutes then take their number, and are then left wondering why nearly all their numbers flake.

Number closing isn't about getting the number. It's about getting the girl to the point where she wants to see you again because she is attracted to you, getting her to feel comfortable enough with you to see you again, then finally, when this is all in place, taking her number.

jakekickass · 2010-10-05T05:43:22+00:00

You've got to be able to pull your feelings out of it. Rejections happen. They happen all the time. The key is to not let someone else's actions have any type of bearing on your emotional well being. It's always an interesting thing, to watch someone first get involved in pick-up. You've got to remember that you are undertaking a complete life-transformation. The more you do it the better you get. Believe me, if it was as simple as 2 short weeks into nailing every girl you talked to, there would probably be a lot more PUA's out there.

2010-10-05T10:52:32+00:00

Keep at it buddy. You will be desensitized to failure soon enough, and that is when you really start to grow :)

ajcook921 · 2010-10-05T23:20:56+00:00

Have you ever gotten good at anything in two weeks? Thick skin my friend.

Title	Getting nowhere... getting depressed
Author	BishopMoves
Upvotes	0
Comments	30
Date	October 5, 2010 2:51 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dmwrb/getting_nowhere_getting_depressed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/getting-nowhere-getting-depressed.1312126 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312126

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