I have to unsuscribe to mens rights, I cant be public about my advocacy and it is destroying my relationship

OuiCrudites · 2012-08-25T02:14:16+00:00

Then you are in the wrong relationship.

2012-08-25T01:46:35+00:00

I was given an ultimatum to ethier live with my life partner or be an MRA.

That's a sign of controlling and abusive behavior. It's a huge red flag when your partner thinks she can dictate your beliefs and will force ultimatums to make you submit to her will.

You don't seem like a strong willed individual. But I'm hoping you find the strength to really evaluate your relationship and get out of it.

Molsenator · 2012-08-25T02:57:45+00:00

This is an abusive relationship. You should get out of it. How can you be with someone who openly disregards your feeling and beliefs? Why would you want to be with them?

mikesteane · 2012-08-25T08:04:46+00:00

The real ultimatum may have been exactly the opposite: pass this shit test or I leave. She may end up leaving you because you have shown how weak you are.

ghebert001 · 2012-08-25T02:19:48+00:00

I was given an ultimatum to ethier live with my life partner or be an MRA.

If your partner is giving you ultimatums like this, it is not a good sign. Don't let her control you...follow your passion and if it leads you in the direction that is being an MRA, then so be it. Give her an ultimatum...she can let you be an MRA or she can get out.

theAnalepticAlzabo · 2012-08-25T08:04:47+00:00

By feminist standards your life partner is abusive

G-O · 2012-08-25T02:48:04+00:00

forced to live a lie.

Resentment it 3.2.1

ssj4kevin · 2012-08-25T02:14:14+00:00

Too bad dude. My girlfriend of 7 years is completely supportive and even reads lots of material that I send her way. I just hope her dislike of your beliefs doesn't translate into the issues MRM deals with sometime in the future.

2012-08-25T03:44:16+00:00

...and she is polish and feminism is still doing good things there...

So your girlfriend is a feminist, but you're not allowed to be an MRA? Looks like you're getting a raw deal there.

2012-08-25T08:51:10+00:00

My suggestion would be to discuss the differences between Poland and America; if women are truly disadvantaged there, then it is still a noble pursuit, and I think most would agree. That said, if she cannot understand that men are disadvantaged where you live, or that feminism is worsening things there, then she's narrow minded; don't you want more than that?

I've been given ultimatums before, though before I found the MRM; but, it still amounted to, "give up part of yourself or give up on us." I did so, and it was simply never enough; every time ending badly.

Since I've found the MRM and discuss it socially when it comes up, I've ended up dating women who support it. The level of crazy hasn't gone down, but then I'm just a magnet for it. That said, the girls have been just as attractive, with a light sprinkle of porn stars on top - apparently most of them (the women, no idea about the men) recognize the need for the MRM.

I'd always been someone who would give up things for love, but since I stopped I've certainly found myself in more relationships... and though they were usually shorter, they never left me hurt; and, the longer relationships were the same year and a bit or so, but we separated on good terms (other than an identity thief, but that's just rolling snake eyes, I got out clean).

EvilPundit · 2012-08-25T01:33:19+00:00

Good luck.

I hope your girlfriend's attitude is not an indication of future trouble for you.

seego79 · 2012-08-25T12:12:22+00:00

well don't expect this to be the only ultimatum you get, once you cave on this your gonna be more and more controlled, she is gonna keep doing thiws till you don't recognise yourself, trust me.

AnthonyZarat · 2012-08-25T01:38:32+00:00

Good luck pal.

I have two boys with my wife, and she knows that the world is hell for boys/men, so she tolerates my MRA activism. If I had girls instead, there would be no way for me to do this.

God's speed, brother.

Mesum · 2012-08-25T03:11:40+00:00

I was gonna say something really mean about someone whose your life partner and also thinks you make really bad decisions but it'll reflect onto you. I "wish" you all the best.

Side note; always walk away from people who want you to pick and choose. Today it is MRA, tomorrow is going to be your sister, mother, bother or father. If they think you make bad decisions, they shouldn't be with you at all.

ignatiusloyola · 2012-08-25T08:10:36+00:00

It really sucks to be in your situation, I am sure.

I am very glad my girlfriend supports me in my advocacy.

truthman2000 · 2012-08-25T08:39:08+00:00

she is polish and feminism is still doing good things there

Feminism doesn't do good things anywhere.

NWOslave · 2012-08-25T18:15:13+00:00

First off, she isn't a life partner, she's your wife. Life partner is a feminist gender equalist term used to androgynize everyone into a state of sameness. You were already a feminist so it's no great loss.

rightsbot · 2012-08-25T01:30:18+00:00

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coldacid · 2012-08-25T03:32:08+00:00

(Potentially) life-altering ultimatums are a sign of a dysfunctional relationship. rensin, up and go -- if she cares so much about controlling what you think and feel about, she's unworthy of you.

PersonalityDisorder · 2012-08-25T05:44:53+00:00

I've been in a relationship like yours OP. Believe me when I say it'll only get worse from here. Like someone said above she could decide next it's either your family or her. Drop it like it's hot and get the hell out of there. You'll be kicking yourself later if you don't.

DavidByron · 2012-08-25T06:33:17+00:00

Unfortunately your partner is acting like a terrorist. It's not like you have an option of choosing to believe or not believe something anyway. If you go along with this you'll may get resentful and she may lose respect for you because you've shown you're a push over.

And it wont even address the real issue she's worried about. While I wouldn't advise leaving the relationship or characterise it as an abusive relationship over just one (?) incident, I really doubt anything good come come out of pretending to her that you can just change your mind about this stuff. Like you said if she's a LIFE partner, you'd have to feel forced into a lie for life. It's unworkable.

You have more than two responses here. Don't take her bait and treat it like an ultimatum.

robert32907 · 2012-08-25T10:57:35+00:00

A couple weeks from now, she's gonna give you an ultimatum in which you either accept the fact that she likes to go out and get strange dick every so often, or she's gonna leave you.

You'll accept that and stay with her. You've already set the precedent.

Enjoy your life as a cuckold.

2012-08-25T05:09:24+00:00

Advice to your partner: she can't change your views and beliefs. If she can't accept you for who you are, then she should leave.

This part of you won't change. You have to find a female who will support and understand you.

And if she's a feminist, what is she doing with an MRA? She should go find herself a guy who will support and understand her views. Everyone deserves that, and if it's something neither of you guys are getting, it better end.

HolyCounsel · 2012-08-25T06:24:37+00:00

Everyone is telling you the same thing, my friend. Being part of the MRM is not more important than your significant other, but the fact that she would make you quit is very bad news. Best of luck.

funwish · 2012-08-25T02:42:54+00:00

Tell your story walking..

2012-08-25T21:27:09+00:00

Your partner is abusing you.

ObsidianOverlord · 2012-08-25T03:39:05+00:00

I love Chicago ...

The musical, not the city, oh god no not the city.

rottingchrist · 2012-08-25T04:10:53+00:00

Wut?

Nobody who likes you enough to be in a relationship with you is so petty. Is this a troll post?

Or maybe if it's true, in which case you need to dump her ass for threatening to end the relationship over a website.

Title	I have to unsuscribe to mens rights, I cant be public about my advocacy and it is destroying my relationship
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	42
Date	August 25, 2012 1:29 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ysb24/i_have_to_unsuscribe_to_mens_rights_i_cant_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-have-to-unsuscribe-to-mens-rights-i-cant-be.1015060 https://theredarchive.com/post/1015060

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