Do you think parents and society fail to teach girls to respect boys?

step_aside_butch_ · 2021-07-30T02:04:03+00:00

The counter to this is always some version of boys/men are already respected, then they leap to the top of the mountain to a Governor or a famous actor or a famous CEO as 'proof'

lightning_palm · 2021-07-29T18:53:14+00:00

Yes, parents and society at large fail to teach girls to be respectful towards boys. I can count quite a few instances where a girl said or did something gross it makes me shudder to think about it. It's not that girls per se are very violent or disrespectful (towards boys), it's when they are they think it's completely justified.

I recently had a conversation with a girl who thought it was "a joke" to jest about "killing all men" and got really angry when asked if "make me a sandwich" was offensive towards women (me asking if it was offensive was enough to get that reaction). I only got in their head how offensive the "kill all men" jokes really are when I pointed it out through direct comparison to the "make me a sandwich" joke.

This section of a Q&A with Karen Straughan from 2014 is relevant:
https://youtu.be/vagVf5cf-V0?t=1126 (starting at 18:46 in case the time stamp doesn't work)

TheSpaceDuck · 2021-07-29T18:38:24+00:00

Watching this does a lot to answer that question.

DanteLivra · 2021-07-29T16:15:33+00:00

Yes.

Society and parents don't shame violence and agressivity in women. So it creates this situation where women are taught that it is okay to be violent towards boys. This creates expected gender issues.

SsoulBlade · 2021-07-30T04:43:21+00:00

Yes. My mom taught my sisters that they don't have to help my father with anything outside the house. That was my job. Incidentally, I was also expected to work inside the house along side my sisters.

They weren't taught to not hit boys while I was given the speech on hitting girls

I was taught to not fuck with a girls feelings. They never got the memo.

Now this was common in my days in most households...

quesadilla_dinosaur · 2021-07-29T15:38:31+00:00

Honestly, I think it depends on the kind of society you come from (which is obvious) because in some cultures, women are taught to respect men in a certain way (domestic duties, being quaint, don’t nag too much etc) that makes them invisible (in a sense).

Currently, cultures with messages like that for women are dying out and being replaced with a more empowering, abrasive and ambitious set of messages. While I don’t mind that messaging, I think a lot of this frames men as both a goal and an adversary, both desirable and not worthy of respect. Ime, it seems like women who are extremely disrespectful to men/boys don’t have much of a social impetus to change as society tells them they needing to respect men/boys sounds “patriarchal” when really it’s just basic decency.

MelissaMiranti · 2021-07-29T17:32:57+00:00

I think that there was a lot of religious baggage surrounding how women and men are supposed to treat one another, and feminism focused on removing women's burden/restriction in this regard. That is of course just fine for feminism to do. Unfortunately the one-sided nature of feminist activism means that we have boys being taught that they have a duty to girls to protect them from harm, but there is no reciprocation of respect for that protective nature, just expectation. I think the way we go about fixing this is teaching children to have basic respect for all humans, and to be thankful to those that help in any fashion, but that help is not necessarily expected if it would harm you to give it.

matrixislife · 2021-07-29T21:48:17+00:00

Of course. The effect of having women dominate the field of child care, starting with mothers at home, nursery/kindergarden, babysitters and eventually primary/elementary school upwards would have a biasing effect on children even if there wasn't any actual societal bias against boys at the same time.

mercinarary · 2021-07-30T05:23:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

gratis_eekhoorn · 2021-07-29T18:15:13+00:00

they don't even try so technically they don't fail to do that

BloomingBrains · 2021-08-01T08:58:01+00:00

I think respect is sometimes an unhelpful concept to analyze. People don't inherently deserve some kind of special respect just for existing. Respect should be earned, not given automatically.

But there are also lots of different kinds of respect. There is the deeper level of respect, like one would have for a hero or something. There is also more basic level of respect, which amounts to treating strangers with basic human decency. If we're talking about this latter one, then it can be a useful discussion.

But to answer, I think parents and society do fail at that. It's generally accepted that you should make a girl feel comfortable and safe when you approach her for example. But I don't think girls are taught to respect a man's feelings instead of trampling all over them.

I remember my psychology professor speaking directly to the girls in the class and telling them: "If you don't like a guy, you should be honest and just tell him. Don't string him along, lie, or try to weasel out of saying no by some indirect means." She was and older woman and even talked about how controversial that was, even claiming she could literally get fired for saying it.

aspiring-schizoid · 2021-07-30T07:05:37+00:00

Absolutely. Children are socialized to demonize and alienate the other gender as if they were a different species. Girls are just social animals who only care about their looks and gossip maliciously, boys are just immature beasts who are dumb and can't pay attention. The gender war starts so early it's ridiculous, people are rarely taught to just respect one another for their similarities and differences.

BatemaninAccounting · 2021-07-31T00:05:00+00:00

Are y'all growing up in baby fight club or something? When girls did bad things to me when I was little, they were punished. When I did bad things to the girls in my neighborhood, I was punished. It really was that simple.

About the only major negative thing is that girls could get away with a ton of microaggression type issues at that age and adults wouldn't consider them important enough to try to correct the bad behavior. If boys did something on that microaggression level, they were often called out and punished for them much faster.

(countdown to someone claiming microaggressions aren't real lol)

LilMissKimi · 2021-07-30T13:07:36+00:00

Men are constantly shamed for being deadbeat , abusive, douchebags who treat women like shit. The minute he becomes upset and says some hurtful shit, women will become very upset and run to someone to console her. In that time she processes the situation by venting to others. The ones consoling say the typical statements like " you deserve better " , " he's no good, cut him off " All men are dogs " "he's abusive" he'll never change " blahdy blah blah blah. These thoughts become implanted in women's minds that most men are unworthy of their attention and, . . . unless the fit the ideal Disney Prince, then you are devaluing yourself and choose better.. The same type of dynamic goes on with men towards women too. An ideal standard of excellence in a human, DO NOT accept anything less.

Hmm 🤔 🤔 🤔 not really reality is it?

The fact is we, male and female, all have issues. The way our brains are wired are specific to our expression and communication style in which is specific our gender, male or female.

Biological we're different but humanely we are the same.

So learn to communicate and understand the opposite sex instead of escaping, searching, and hoping find something better. Sometimes we'll lose something so special to us for an impulsive, instant gratification, egotistical, and prideful behavior or act that we end up heartbroken and regretful later on in life. Actively try and work it out together. Be kind, respectful, and detached. Do not try and conform to strictly all or nothing mindsets, learn compassion and empathy, live life in the moment, and focus on yourself. Heal and create yourself. Leave expectations at the door, hope for the best but except the worse and embrace the person for who they are and how they make you feel. Step back and allow them to fly, most of the time they'll come right back.

Men and women have hurt each other for so long it's becoming generationally ingrained in our DNA and a fixated mindset amongst society. Let's learn to forgive, let go, understand, and have patience with one another and maybe the genders will let their guards down again and the divorce rate will go down, domestics will decrease, porn consumption will lessen, and crazy revengeful . . . I want to rob you of everything you have including your soul because you hurt me will slow the fuck down.

Open your mind, and change your perspective.

Just Be.

ShivasKratom3 · 2021-07-30T14:37:23+00:00

I really do think today your meant to respect women for being women and men when they prove they deserve it.

Some guys ideally the white good looking dude solid job etc etc etc, get a free card but I just feel with men there’s an assumption of being wrong, bad and dangerous that you have to prove you aren’t to deserve respect

mercinarary · 2021-07-29T22:01:55+00:00

As a woman, it feels like males generally get more respect than females. Disrespect towards women is sometimes subtle, like talking over you or dismissing what you say. Guys who are I are interested in you will often overstep boundaries like touching you and sending unsolicited sexual messages and photos. Men who are large get automatic respect because they’re physically imposing. Maybe men who are shorter and skinnier don’t get that.

BestCareer6557 · 2021-07-31T17:04:50+00:00

WERE SCREWD

Title	Do you think parents and society fail to teach girls to respect boys?
Author	No-Perspective5346
Upvotes	198
Comments	86
Date	July 29, 2021 3:08 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/otzaw3/do_you_think_parents_and_society_fail_to_teach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/do-you-think-parents-and-society-fail-to-teach.1060827 https://theredarchive.com/post/1060827

Comments