Oh how the turntables...

pompommom31 · 2021-10-02T11:25:39+00:00

Omg I had an ex write me a short story about us—-except it was some kind of rape-y dressing room fantasy where I was trying on lingerie and he worked in the store and I was just so turned on I had to have him right there in the dressing room. I started laughing after he sent it to me thinking for sure this HAS to be a joke and he looked dumbfounded and actually asked why I was laughing!! And he’s not even a writer, I was the one taking a fiction class. I can’t even. 🤣🤢

AAlegend8 · 2021-10-02T04:12:58+00:00

He walked in, long testicles swinging wildly between his legs, while his limp candlestick jumped around with every step. It looked so unfortunate that I could almost picture a little apologetic frowning face on it. A waft of garlic and ball sweat punched me in the face. “Are you going to shower before you come to bed?” I asked. “Why, I don’t smell, you do” he laughed. 😖

IAteTheDragon · 2021-10-02T10:08:20+00:00

Omg, so so accurate. Sexist authors never forget to mention how big or small her breasts were, how pouty her lips were when she spoke. Judgmental but appearing to be "so perceptive" about her scars, or say, birth Marks like "She seemed to think the crescent-shaped mark on her left cheek would disappear as she hid it underneath her chestnut hair" Dude, what if she wasn't trying to hide shit from your sexist ass?? I coulddn't put my finger on it, but describing women's body parts with such bold audacity is like OWNING HER right there 😒🤒

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-10-02T02:56:39+00:00

I love stuff like this!

For us comics nerds/visual media fans, I present the Hawkeye Initiative!

Zitrone77 · 2021-10-02T11:46:46+00:00

Yeah, I had someone send me a sexy (try to be) text referring to my vagina as the cave of love. I sure hope he wasn’t serious.

paris_rogue · 2021-10-02T04:57:14+00:00

Honestly, I think some low quality men would still be turned on by this.

modernmedusaa · 2021-10-02T12:38:25+00:00

I can’t help but notice the uncanny similarities between the way the Daily Mail and porn described women

LadyGrimes · 2021-10-02T10:22:16+00:00

I'm reminded of the time many years back (way before reddit existed) when some scrote asked me to read a sample of his smut. I did and it was horrifically bad. He then had the nerve to ask me if reading it turned me on. I flat out said nope. Was not going to lie or sugar coat that shit, it was that bad.

LadyGrimes · 2021-10-02T02:55:13+00:00

lmao

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-10-02T07:41:07+00:00

James Patterson, David Baldacci or any of the misogynist rapey-gruesome-snuff-porn crime fiction hacks. Keep your guard up with anyone who reads this poorly written sick shit.

extragouda · 2021-10-02T06:06:41+00:00

Oh thank you! This made me laugh so much!

Feministtiktok · 2021-10-02T19:57:16+00:00

This sounds like it could be a key and peele sketch I wanna see it acted out now lol

thethirdflowrisgreen · 2021-10-02T04:55:01+00:00

Title	Oh how the turntables...
Author	throwawayastrogirl
Upvotes	1796
Comments	44
Date	October 2, 2021 1:56 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pzm3lg/oh_how_the_turntables/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/oh-how-the-turntables.1072928 https://theredarchive.com/post/1072928

Comments