So over this past weekend, my LVM ex dumped me. There were no glaring warning signs, no obvious issues, or anything else. He had stayed the night so we woke up together, had sex, cuddled, and then he just said he didn't love me anymore and walked out. What hurts and is scary is that I thought he was HV but now that I look back on the relationship, I can clearly see that he wasn't. For example, he took me to a cheap sports bar on my birthday because he wanted to go there. He picked a restaurant for MY birthday dinner based on what HE wanted. Not to mention, that his birthday gift was a vibrator and some candy which is extremely low effort. In contrast, my birthday gift to him was a set of over 20 handwritten letters that had directions on when to open them, given the situation. And unfortunately, this wasn't the only red flags that I missed. In fact, I missed some big ones because of my rose colored glasses.

My point with this all is that we need to be careful to constantly be vetting and not let our guard down just because he has one green flag. I thought because he gave me his time and put the effort to consistently visit me that he was HV but it was really just a scam all along. We went from going on nice dates to just "staying in" because he didn't want to "spend money" despite the fact that he will casually drop $1000 on ammo for him to go shooting with his friends. After the break up, I made a list of things that bothered me about the relationship and there were 20 THINGS ON THAT LIST. 20 things that were major red flags and major issues that I managed to just pass over or rationalize because I let the oxytocin, dopamine, and other hormones make me feel like everything is great. I really convinced myself that he was "my person" and he was the one for me. Even now, my brain tricks itself into being sad and feeling like I'm missing out on something great when in reality, I dodged a bullet.

All men have is audacity. This man really managed to mess up my mindset to a point where I feel like I'm missing his LV self when he doesn't bring much to the table. He is struggling to get an engineering degree because he failed a class three times and he's one of those people that just does whatever their guy friends tell them they should do (this is the reason why he broke up with me - they told him to do it). He has very little ambition and just does the bare minimum to get by. On the other hand, I'm ambitious and have a strong work ethic; not trying to brag, but one of my proudest achievements is starting medical school at the age of 20. In addition, I have diverse hobbies, skills, interests, and talents so I bring a lot to the table.

For anyone that's wondering, I'm currently NC with him as of this morning. I messed up and talked to him yesterday where he just twisted my heart and hurt me further by saying that "he regrets it" and "really wants to be with me" while still maintaining that a relationship is not possible. Also threw in a few suggestions to be fwb 🤡 while also trying to encourage me to date? He just flip flops between what he wants and what he does which also means he's a liar whose words you can't trust. Whatever it is, I'm done with it because I deserve someone who recognizes my value and matches it. I appreciate this sub so much and I'd love some encouragement from you wonderful ladies since even though I know it was good thing that it's over and now I have a chance to level up and improve myself, it still hurts so much and it's still very difficult. Lots of love to everyone ❤️

Edit: I somehow forgot this beautiful nugget of information. He was still talking to the girl who left him to go back to her ex!! I don't even know how I overlooked it or how I forgot about it for this long but wow, this was a dumpster fire.