1. If I was prettier he wouldn’t treat me like this

Answer: No sis, if you were prettier he might act more jealous, controlling & manipulative. That’s not quite the fairytale you think it is. He might try to make you even more insecure and play stupid games out of jealousy.

If Beyoncé can get cheated on, it is quite clear that looks and social status don’t completely shield you from misogyny, in some cases they can attract more of it.

Men who don’t treat women with respect aren’t going to magically change for a prettier woman. Because their views on women are distorted.

At best…they might pretend harder for a little longer but eventually the honey moon phase will wear off, he’ll get tired of pretending….and probably cheat out of insecurity or cockiness.

  1. If I would of done more, he wouldn’t stray

Answer: No. Cheating is a choice. That wasn’t his only choice, since he could of chosen to leave.

Men mostly cheat because there’s no background consequential threat of a woman killing them most time’s. If there was, they wouldn’t cheat as much.

If there was truly no benefit to staying with you and you were the awful person he made out - he would of left already.

And if his other choices were so much better, he would of left. He clearly doesn’t ‘love her’ if he’s keeping her a dirty secret on the side.

Most time’s the side plate is just easier to manipulate and is still in the honey moon phase. Since you have seen through him and got tired of his shit, she serves as a convenient distraction to his wounded ego, as she’s still in the thrilling phase where he seems like Prince Charming. Sometimes the side plate is aware he has a girlfriend.

Let’s be real. No high value woman is knowingly settling for ‘side plate’ position getting 10% of his time.

How they get them is how they lose them. So I wouldn’t be remotely jealous - instead feel relieved you don’t have to go to bed anxious about what that sneaky bastard is up to all the time.

Abusive people want you analysing and overthinking every little thing they do trying to empathise with them, when they don’t give a shit & enjoy hurting you. So pull the plug and take your power back. Give them zero attention. Zero empathy.

Stop giving the benefit of the doubt to people who keep taking glee on disrespecting you. Who keep rubbing it under your nose then denying it.

They don’t deserve anything.

We need to stop normalising men cheating as an acceptable way to end a relationship or claiming it’s because they’re not satisfied . Putting the responsibility of men’s cowardly actions on women.

It’s mostly about control.

It’s cowardice and abuse. It’s about humiliating the other person and one upping them. And it is not their only choice. It’s what they CHOSE to do and shows they’re impulsive, spiteful and childish.

This is how they keep you running around in circles fixating on how to please them running yourself in the ground whilst they do the bare minimum keeping you there with a few calculated kind words and gestures….it distracts you from asking whether they were worth the chance in the first place. Whether you even liked them that much.

Most times they’re tricking you into running after a guy you’re not even compatible with. Because they deliberately wounded your ego to do that.

These men are usually pornsick and misogynist & have cheated in previous relationships. That’s why they’re ice cool when you confront them. They don’t care about women. They’re dead inside. They’ve done it before.

  1. Theres something about me, I keep on attracting abusers.

Answer: Whilst you may have some traits that make you more vulnerable to abusers, like poor boundaries or being too empathetic, abusive men tend to run through women like hot dinners and are highly manipulative. You just found yourself in the firing line.

If one guy is manipulating 7 women at a time & multiple guys are doing that - you do the math.

Many abusive men like targeting ‘difficult’ women for their ego …..women who are confident, don’t take BS & know their worth.

They get tired of clowning around with pick mes after a while as it doesn’t stroke their ego the same and so prefer to try conquer difficult women, so they can brag to other men.

Many narcs are drawn to beautiful, successful, smart, strong women for example. They want to be seen with them to boost their esteem and status. But eventually their fragile ego comes out and they feel inadequate, so start to abuse them and knock them down.

Again looks and social status won’t shield you from misogyny. These men don’t like women - only what they can do for them or how they can prove their manhood by knocking them down.

So I would not entirely blame yourself if most men you meet are trash, as most other women echo the same. Whether pretty or average

You can’t 100% prevent abuse or control a mans actions. You can’t stop them pulling a bait and switch, but you can choose to leave once you know better.

In fact most times it’s best you leave at the sign you feel anxiety or doubt. Try to leave way before they get a chance to shit on you.

In some cases, they will drop the mask later and be highly manipulative. In some cases you might be more vulnerable due to things going on in your life. But when they show who they are- believe them.

All you can do is recognise they are abusive and take your time, energy and attention off the table. The more women do this, the more men will understand we’re not going to tolerate it and reward them with loyalty, affection and time.

  1. I’m tired of assholes, maybe it would be easier to lower my standards and be a pick me.

Answer: FDS wouldn’t exist if that was the case. There wouldn’t be all these tales of women being abused after going the mile if that was the case.

At best you’re going to get more of the same bullshit and less respect - at the worst end you might end up beaten or murdered.

They might steal your money to pay for other women or sex workers. They might humiliate you around the local area and tell lies about you. They might give you an STI or damage your mental health. They might use your kids against you & drag you to court.

Ignoring all his bad traits isn’t going to serve you well. At best it may delay the bullshit coming your way, but it’s still coming regardless.

It’s not healthy to live in a constant state of anxiety wondering if someone’s telling the truth or not.

Theres a lot worse thing than being alone and choosing dignity.

A man is not going to treat you better the more you set yourself on fire to keep him warm. He is also going to think you’re stupid doing that, since he wouldn’t do the same.

A man that’s not ready to settle down or is just an asshole, will only be able to keep women who settle and adjust to his immaturity.

But the more women out their foot down, the better.

They’ll realise the benefits dry up the minute start mistreating us.