Men who are pushed over the edge in DV...

R3DLOTU5 · 2021-11-14T06:05:22+00:00

I agree with this sentiment. My cousin married into an abusive relationship, never laid a finger on her but she beat him mercilessly. One time it got so bad that he ran out of the house into the woods across the street. She immediately called the police causing a manhunt where he eventually got arrested for "throwing her around by her hair" the police even told him they didn't see and evidence of this. No red marks on her, nothing. He had a protection order against him where he even lost the right to see his kids because she called the police.

He ended up killing himself after the abuse and court cases she put him through the following year. I miss him.

sleepyJoeBidet · 2021-11-14T05:50:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Normal-Yogurtcloset5 · 2021-11-14T08:30:20+00:00

When I was in college I had to take a women’s studies class and had to write a paper on DV. My research showed that that DV is 50/50 with each gender initiating. My research also showed that bisexual women report higher rates of DV when in lesbian relationships than when in heterosexual relationships. The instructor, a lesbian, wrote a note on my paper stating that she didn’t agree with everything I wrote but I had the research to back it up. I got an “A”.

Ok-Efficiency1842 · 2021-11-14T05:47:44+00:00

This is a known fact. Women instigate fights because feminism has made hitting a woman the ultimate sin in the eyes of the public.

Women hide behind feminism to do terrible things and our society allows it because they put women on a fucking pedestal. It's all a lie but people are afraid to call it out because of the way we punish so-called misogyny.

The whole system is a scam.

I think a lot of men recognize this. The question is how do we change it?

Selfmade_3127 · 2021-11-14T12:18:44+00:00

there are studies that prove, that DV is often initiated by women exactly the way you described it ... and guess what, the most violent relationships are lesbian couples https://www.preventconnect.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/NISVS-sexual-orientation.png?x47887

shortman162cm · 2021-11-14T06:09:04+00:00

thats why we should install a cctv in every married couple house so that the world can see how women are almost always the first to get physical and the first to cry victim when retaliated

grimreefer213 · 2021-11-15T11:12:04+00:00

Yeah men have been dealing with one way aggression for decades, the sacrifice that men make gets completely overshadowed and women are always favored. Its absolutely sickening when women use their own vulnerability as a weapon against men, then in the same breath feminists claim that women aren’t vulnerable and they’re equal to men, which is it? . Because if you’re gonna manipulate society and men using women’s vulnerability, then you can’t claim that men and women are equal. If men and women are equal then women should be held to the same standard men are legally, that if they so much as lay a finger on a man they are punished as harshly. They should be punished just as harshly because men aren’t allowed to respond, it’s like hitting a child or something that can’t defend themselves, you’re a terrible person if you do that. But they treat men like we’re disposable, men couldn’t possibly ever face an injustice from a woman, you’re supposed to be strong and just tolerate abuse, she’s a woman she couldn’t hurt a fly, cause you know all women are angels. News flash, they’re not all angels.

Any woman who abuses a man who isn’t allowed to hit her back, is a fucking foul person. Men have no measures to hold women accountable, all we can do is avoid women like this. We’re held to the highest standard of responsibility, we’re supposed to have this unnatural level of restraint, but we have no authority to enact that responsibility. We’re supposed to do the dirty work, give up some extreme sacrifice for women and let her always be right, go handle the intruder and take the bullet, then we’re supposed to sit down and shut up, never hold women accountable, tolerate bad behavior and tolerate abuse. You got me fucked up, if a woman starts abusing me i’m kicking her the fuck out immediately, this is why you can’t be loose with your seed and end up impregnating one of these psycho broads, i’ve seen it happen. Don’t get oneitis either and tolerate abuse because you feel she’s “the one” nonsense.

Most domestic violence cases are mutual combat, meaning the woman was likely being abusive as well. Men in general are not these violent patriarchal abusers that just start beating women for no reason, very few men are like that, and well, it just so happens that women tend to love men who have a capacity for violence, so after a certain point the woman is choosing to stay there, in which case I have little sympathy for abuse if she is willingly staying with him and not reporting it.

But in general women are not shrinking violets, women are not just sitting over there knitting like a dainty little flower capable of doing no harm, when a man comes over and starts whooping her. More likely the woman was being verbally abusive and violent as well, and the man gets pushed over the edge to where he responds. This is a huge problem of not holding women to any standard of accountability, they act like they’re so disadvantaged, but they’re never held accountable for their actions, they’re held to a completely different rule set and society enables their bad behavior. We live in a gynocentric social order, women are given the most extreme benefit of the doubt and favor, and men are guilty until proven innocent. It is fucked up. And yes, men are left far worse off from relationships than women are in general, women are allowed to legally cuckold men, cheat on them, abuse them, then leave you and still can take your child and take your money. It’s fucked

Then women in their solipsistic world view judge all men based on the small subset of men they interacted with and that they picked . Women find 80% of men unattractive, it’s a verifiable stat that women find the majority of men unattractive. It’s also observable reality that women sometimes exhibit hybristophilia and actually like men who have a capacity for violence and may treat them poorly. Plus they don’t want you to cheat, but they love it when you can cheat. So they pick these men that make them tingle but may not be good for them, then when it backfires they start thinking that all men are “toxic”, “men are dogs”, “men are violent”, “men are cheaters”. But their only experience is with these alpha chads not realizing that the majority of men are good people and a lot of them are scared to even say hi to a woman, let alone beat her or rape her. They pass over men that would be good to them, date the assholes then complain when it backfires. “Where are all the good men at?”, they’re in your friendzone and in your 20s where you left them.

So then they want to punish all men for the mistakes of very few men, and it is fucked up. Give the whole country a curfew for men because a few women got assaulted by immigrants not even from your country, how fucked up is that. Making men in the present pay for the mistakes of men in the past, equals no future and hurts everybody.

itchyotcthy · 2021-11-14T10:08:46+00:00

in this clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JacUOJlZRrs it is updated that both were accused of domestic violence..

He is amazingly patient for someone who had something thrown at him. Asking her multiple times to stop but she didn't.

jckadmium · 2021-11-14T11:04:33+00:00

Feminist Duluth model DV practice makes guilty assumption and creates an arrest on accusation. This violates due process and equal protection. The best thing to avoid this is to stay away from volatility at the first sign. Drop the woman like a bad habit.

RedditMadeMeReddit · 2021-11-14T09:03:23+00:00

We did see her throwing objects at him, but "he must have done something to deserve it" holds up until he does something to her... which we didn't see. I would hope that more people become financially independent, if only because I believe they wouldn't be staying in abusive relationships.

frednoname1 · 2021-11-14T13:11:56+00:00

Women are more abusive then men... I've had 4 different women slap or hit me. The one that was super abusive and beat the shit out of me had no repercussions. If a woman hits you, good luck making a case for assault. A dude defending himself, jail for sure. I'm still going through the court system for this shit. She hit me with a golf club, tried to stab me..it is fucking bs... Stole half my shit. Fucking endless.

tlobj · 2021-11-15T01:01:29+00:00

Men never cry verbal abuse. Maybe they should.

LadyKnight151 · 2021-11-14T14:07:40+00:00

My cousin's boyfriend got in trouble for hitting her once. No one but me seemed to notice that he was covered in scratches on his chest and back after the incident. Not saying he was right to do that to her, but it seemed to me like the violence was going both ways

Notesandstuff · 2021-11-14T09:40:57+00:00

I know the rate of men willing to get married is dropping, but seriously, why the fuck are men still getting married? Why? Especially in America. I don't get it. I'm very sorry for the men that got ducked already, but god damn when is this bullshit going to end? The only way is for men to refuse marriage till the laws change.

SkullAngel001 · 2021-11-14T14:34:40+00:00

Yes I agree, many women don't understand the concept of a breaking point. Every human has one. Given enough stimuli and stress, individuals can do things you never thought they were capable of doing.

Women also think abuse is just physical. They don't consider verbal & emotional abuse such as incessant berating, talking down to their partner in public, and condescending behavior and what it does to their partner's mental health. And I'm not even talking about the silly stereotype of a "nagging wife".

The disturbing part is that your research has clearly shown women are just as bad, if not worse, at abuse than men...and your instructor can't even acknowledge its validity as she just had to insert her little note.

40moreyears · 2021-11-14T15:26:48+00:00

It’s the same thing that happens when people see a woman in the street being aggressive toward a man, and when he responds on kind he’s attacked because “he’s a man and can take it” or whatever. It’s bullshit.

Rock_Granite · 2021-11-14T15:48:30+00:00

Bill Burr the comedian had a funny bit about this. I don't have a link, sorry. The gist was that he found it hard to believe that the female DV victims were just sitting around minding their own business when, out of nowhere, the man just whops her upside the head. What really happens he said is the the female just keeps coming after him like an attack robot, until of course the man has had enough. Burr makes the whole thing quite funny, as only he can do

MrMisterMN · 2021-11-14T13:09:44+00:00

He did the right thing. She started acting like a child and throwing shit. I don't know why people always act that it's wrong to hit a woman no matter what. You want to act a certain way you get handled a certain way.

skgody · 2021-11-14T06:38:24+00:00

Men are the worst at taking the high ground in this activity, some women at least acknowledge they used the abusive system to their advantage.

SanityOrLackThereof · 2021-11-14T16:11:56+00:00

It's like Bill Burr says. There's plenty of reasons to hit a woman. You just don't do it.

In general if you're in a relationship where you're even considering getting physical with your partner, or where you feel like you're being provoked towards violence then really the absolute best thing to do is get yourself out. Break up, divorce them, cut ties with them completely. Don't stick around until the pot boils over and you actually end up getting violent with them. As a man, that's never ever going to end well for you. Doesn't matter how much the woman provokes or attacks you first, you will always be treated as the aggressor. Doesn't matter what she says or does, or what threats she use. It's just not worth it. Get yourself away from the abuser at all costs.

Dan_H1281 · 2021-11-14T17:22:25+00:00

I have been thru domestic violence accusations I had an ex that was strung out about every three months or so she would get clean enough to want to see our kid with her abusive new bf I would tell her no in an hour or so cops show up take me to jail for domestic violence against her when I never opened the door I would go to jail she take me sin and disappear for a month or so then being him back usually in bad shape with her having black eyes he was young so he could not tell me what happened this happened three times the last time she brought my kid back he was beaten he had maybe 35-50 bruise marks and cuts on him the cops said it was inappropriate punishment no charges, all my charges were dismissed she never showed up but they tried to push it saying I must have threatened her not to show up, it still shows that I was charged so a few years later I re marry she uses this against me n a custody case the judge went for it luckily she major fuct up and I was awarded custody and been living in relative peace for six years

makosh22 · 2021-11-14T11:26:31+00:00

It's a very tricky question and it triggers community every time you ask it.

Yes, there are aggressive men who don't need a reason to start a fight BUT how many fights are initiated and aggravated by so-caaled victim?

Like if you know you live with unstable man - run.

You see that he gets angrier and angrier - shut the fuck up and run.

But noooo... These "victims" want the absolute victory over the opponent now and for ever!

And more: some women do provoke men into fight to get this victim status.

And sure: as OP said - missing the part of the story why this decent men suddenly turned into "beast"

4shLite · 2021-11-14T11:41:30+00:00

Huh, she physically assaulted him by throwing stuff at him and he acted in self-defence, pretty obvious case for the court? What happened then, I hope he was let go?

VincentZ6 · 2021-11-14T11:47:22+00:00

Never get married or cohabitate.

DraganTehPro · 2021-11-14T13:43:53+00:00

After the first slap there was really no need to go further tbh. Like yes she was annoying him but does it really deserve 3 punches? But also what the fuck was so important that it couldn't wait 10 minutes? Like by the end they probably wasted more time than if she just let him finish the game.

weirdfish42 · 2021-11-14T15:52:40+00:00

The answer to this is to leave the relationship as soon as it starts.

Anything which pushes you to feel the need to defend yourself is an indication to leave immediately.

No one should be hitting or throwing things at anyone, and I'm quite sure this wasnt the first instance of this.

I've had abusive girlfriends, and once they show what they are capable of, believe them. It doesnt get better, they dont learn, and it only gets worse.

officerfriendlyrick7 · 2021-11-14T17:04:47+00:00

Studies have shown 60% of women are just as violent as men, that’s a massive portion of woman who are scientifically speaking just as violent as men, I can concur my ex was abusive manipulative and vindictive, such women are a danger to men’s mental and physical well being.

soulc · 2021-11-14T17:07:58+00:00

When a person gets physical with me I protect myself however I can. I don't wait till I have had enough. Any physicality is enough.

GG1312 · 2021-11-14T17:10:06+00:00

There are tons of experiments where one gender verbally and physically attacks while the other gender defends themselves.

And somehow it's always the man that's being held down, shouted at, and sometimes even beaten up by bystanders, even if the man wasn't the perpetrator.

NeoNotNeo · 2021-11-14T17:27:53+00:00

It’s more than food for thought. I suspect most societal violence has women at the root. I can’t count how many relationships I am aware where women are aggressively emotionally abusive. Or worse. It’s tough for men to fight back.

But what about moms who break their sons into violent thugs. I grew up with two boys whose mother berated them to fight all the time when anything irritated her. They were surrogates to her lunacy. One left when he was 18 and has a great life. The other not so much.

godimissthePNW · 2021-11-14T17:57:14+00:00

I have never hit a woman, but it’s been very hard not to on some occasions. My stance is: if you act like a man, you just might get treated like one. I’ve seen where women continue to berate or press men into situations where they either walk away or respond. Those responses, I feel, are often justified. I would never expect to do the things these women do and not get hit. Why should they expect otherwise?

pappo4ever · 2021-11-14T18:11:19+00:00

MrDeadMoth’s wife had been attempting to get his attention while he was streaming on Twitch.

What the flying f....she attempts to get his attention by throwing things at him and the guy spent 2 minutes begging for her to stop her harassment before finally slapping her! all meanwhile he was streaming AKA working for his family, this is incredible. What he was supposed to do, try to keep working while she throws stuff at him?

And then she proceeds to ban him from home and from seeing his kids, for a slap. This is a nightmare situation and the reason no sane men marry anymore.

What its insane is that this is all in video for people to see, and he still got royally fucked. My ex did exactly the same to me (and to my little kid) so we had to leave the home and be homeless for a while. I had everything in video, just in case she did something stupid in court, but she at least realized she was crazy and did nothing.

BasedHeretic89 · 2021-11-14T18:52:17+00:00

I'll excuse his behavior, equality and what not right ladies? TBH most women have a slap in their future, most just haven't been humbled yet. Ive dated multiple women like this, and no i've never slapped them, I just remove myself from the situation and REFUSE to cohabitate with a modern woman. He unfortunately did not have that luxury. Good for him for standing up to that tyrannical she-beast though. G'day gents

Busy-Ad5287 · 2021-11-14T19:05:17+00:00

You don't even have to be pushed to be charged domestic violence. They can scratch their arm, slap themselves in the face, put their hands around the throat choked themselves, or even pinch themselves. If you get to argue with a woman to do all these things right here just call the cops and you're going to jail. If that cop gets there or sheriff deputy gets there and she has a mark on her you're gone. I've known cases where the guy pushed his wife away to get to the door to leave to get out of the situation she shot him and because when the deputies got there she had a mark on her he was charged domestic violence and she wasn't. It's to the point where you just you lose no matter what. When it comes to domestic violence I believe that is deep worst law they've ever put on the books. Cuz you look back 30s and 40s maybe 50 a husband had a right to discipline his wife. Have you ever noticed back in those days a woman didn't cheat, a woman didn't leave her husband, a wife knew her place and that's where she stayed. Men have been so watered down throughout the years because you are so scared that if you even have an inkling of standing up for yourself that it will piss her off the jail you go.

nikogetsit · 2021-11-14T20:25:05+00:00

Bill Bur has a great segment regarding this. His main point he was making is 'why cant we ask questions?'

Too often mens voice are completely silenced only leaving the outcome without cross examination.

Legatti · 2021-11-14T21:00:06+00:00

Anyone hitting anyone is bad. Men hitting women, women hitting men, period. What you’re describing is escalation. If someone begins by yelling, then throwing things, the only option you have is to leave. Hitting the other person isn’t justified.

taiga003 · 2021-11-14T21:54:24+00:00

I can totally understand what your talking about u/Punder_man. I have a friend that has told me this before, "I don't support a man beating his wife, but I totally get why it ends up happening".

Glad I found this forum. So tired of not being able to find people who won't share there stories when it comes to the communication problems between men and women. It's refreshing to find people on this Reddit that will. Another thing I have also been wondering about lately, would be good to find some guys on here that would be willing to share there stories about their frustrations with dating. Suzanne Venker has done alot of work on this as I am sure some know.

However anytime I have taken an interest in women, from North America especially, I often find men including myself made to feel indirectly worthless, and dejected from the woman your taking an interest in. They often will ignore and not be direct if they don't want to talk with you. Women always to venture in the realms of fraudulent and dishonest behaviour which makes it even worse for the man.

The number one thing that will always happen when a man's invitation to dating is turned down by a woman, the woman will often get defensive leaving the guy feel like a worthless sack of shit and like he did something wrong. I have practically never saw a woman respond with a thanks but no, and be supportive towards in appreciating they are a man. It does happen but not often.

Antifeeg · 2021-11-14T09:11:36+00:00

Because "society" sees "waman" as extremist democrats (which kinda look mainstream right now but I think still more left leaning people are actually sane) see people of color. They are babies without agency of their own. They see men as people and women as flies. I'm sorry but that looks like it. When some kid comes to me I don't take him seriously generally, it's like society treats women, like defective grow ups that really can't do anything to you. It's patronizing but probably comfortable for many groups political and otherwise.

StarZax · 2021-11-14T10:45:43+00:00

Yeah I've watched the full video and it is kind of hard ... He was wrong, I can understand why you would do that but it doesn't make it less wrong, he should have pushed her out of the room or something or use better words instead of just repeating the same « i'll be out soon » non-stop, maybe it would have worked differently

But come on just don't push so damn hard on someone just because you want a reaction, it's never a good idea to push somebody to contain themselves because when it goes out, it goes out in an explosive way. If he can't talk right now, you won't have anything useful just by throwing stuff at him

skolopendron · 2021-11-14T11:27:46+00:00

You are going to love this OP

https://youtu.be/rksKvZoUCPQ

Bill Burr on the same subject

benderXX · 2021-11-15T00:45:10+00:00

My opinion is we are not honest about the violence committed by women. The majority of it is emotional violence and psychological but statistically women are catching up to the physical variety as well. None of us here, I hope, are saying women are bad or evil, the sickness is in the heard. And consensus thinking that absolves women automatically from blame or responsibility. It’s dangerous. It’s separating men and women. The only ones not seeing it are those who benefit from the way things are. And those to scared to speak up.

tlobj · 2021-11-15T01:11:31+00:00

Whoever think men are the more aggressive sex should pay a little more attention. Women can just be sneakier about it. Biologically more strength doesn’t mean more aggressive. In fact it can often be the opposite. The physically stronger person may be less aggressive because they know they could hurt the other person. But when you snap, you snap whether you’re male or female and you’ll use what you’re good at.

Boeijen666 · 2021-11-14T09:21:43+00:00

It's evil.

Title	Men who are pushed over the edge in DV...
Author	Punder_man
Upvotes	524
Comments	126
Date	November 14, 2021 5:27 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/qtix16/men_who_are_pushed_over_the_edge_in_dv/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-who-are-pushed-over-the-edge-in-dv.1084183 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084183

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