Hook-up culture is a lie! (This time with math!)

TikiTikiTata-chalala · 2021-11-10T18:16:12+00:00

Honestly I'm so over sexual activity being seen as a qualifier. Like if you haven't, then omg you gotta. And if you have, you have to have had it all the way the right way bc obviously nowadays sex manuals are everywhere why didnt you do it right? I AM one of those people who lies and say I have 1 higher than I do because I have some friends I shared too many details with and suddenly 'no that's not sex' so now I just lie so they can stop thinking my sexual status is a fun fact to list off. I'm not quite ready to drop this friend tho, but she is on thin ice

sourcircus · 2021-11-10T16:50:21+00:00

Casual sex is just not beneficial to women at all.

Potential pregnancy
STDs
Lack of orgasms (a stranger who doesn’t give a damn about you except for his own guaranteed orgasm)
Violence
Etc.

Please just use sex toys instead

deadinsidelol69 · 2021-11-10T19:18:16+00:00

Wasn't there a recent reddit thread asking if men were willing to date a promiscuous woman and like 90% of them said no? Its a scam, men want to have as much sex as they possibly can with as many women as they can and see nothing wrong with it, but they'll never respect a woman who does the same thing.

electroloop · 2021-11-10T16:00:04+00:00

Also please stop buying into the myth that being promiscuous is hot and attractive, it really isn’t.

Sure, men will want you sexually. But men will fuck anything, don’t forget that. Once they’re done using you like a real life fleshlight, they’ll start shit talking you to anyone who listens. You’re not going to be “cool” anymore, you’ll be talked about and become the “town bicycle and carousel rider.”

The biggest difference between men and women is that women rarely kiss and tell. Men will certainly brag to everyone who listens, destroying your reputation. Sure, being promiscuous might mean men want you short term, but good luck having a man commit to you.

oi_oi_oink · 2021-11-10T16:34:31+00:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I do not have a problem with people having casual sex. If you are physically and mentally healthy, emotionally and financially independent, have a good judgement and can take responsibility for your safety and well being; then by all means, do have casual sex.

The main problem here is, the people who have a good mindset generally do not indulge in this. Hook up pool normally attracts-

people with low self esteem (who are often love deprived and are looking for validation)
pump and dump champs because women won't date them long term
people who are looking to experiment (aka no partner will tolerate the depraved shit I want to do)
people who are looking for naive victims to prey upon
people who think they're too good to commit to one person
creepy losers who can't find anybody to date in their social circle due to their reputation
cheaters and liars (because online dating gives you anonymity and guaranteed success)

As humans, all of us look for stability and growth, whether it be in a workplace, in a friend, in a family or in a romantic partner. Anybody you're sharing your thoughts/home/body with needs to provide this stability and growth. And from what I've heard and seen, hook-up culture provides none. It's filled with insecurities, anxiety and fear. I do not understand the whole allure of it tbh.

I also hate it because women rarely find a partner who cares about their sexual satisfaction. Women who are into hook-ups (in my social circle) often tell me that 80-90% of their hook-ups are not satisfactory, uncomfortable and even painful at times. The worst part is, they still think that is somehow worth it ("you gotta kiss a few frogs to get a prince"). No sis, save your energy and don't kiss any frogs.

huevos_and_whiskey · 2021-11-10T18:19:53+00:00

I guess I have an unusually high number, and I don’t recommend it. 20: 8 were long term relationships (7 of those were monogamous, 1 was poly), 4 were short term relationships (all of those were monogamous), and 8 were one night stands. Of those 8 ONS, 5 were women - 4 of whom were “brought in” by the one poly guy I dated over the course of my 4 1/2 year relationship with him, and the other was a close friend who wanted to experiment. Of the 20 sexual partners total, 6 were women.

I’ve never really thought of myself as promiscuous. I guess technically I was? Most of my dating and sexual experience was in monogamous relationships. I had a few one night stands in my late teens and early 20s, that’s it. Then there was that one guy - poly guy - who brought in more ONS within the context of a LTR. I count anything under 6 months as a short term relationship, and all my long term relationships were more than 10 months. 3 of those lasted more than 4 years each. Those are the ones I regret the most, because of the time I wasted on people who weren’t right for me, trying so hard to make it work. 2 of them were downright toxic, and caused me a lot of harm. Most of my regrets stem from the opportunities lost or sacrificed for “love” with guys who claimed to love me but really just subtracted value from my life.

If I could go back and live those years all over again, I think it would’ve been better to focus on things other than romantic relationships entirely - school, my career, my personal goals, friendships - and maybe date casually without having sex until I found the right person. When I was younger my priorities were so, so out of whack, most of which can be attributed to cultural messages that we teach girls. Everything from Disney movies and other media directed at various age groups to libfem sexpozzy bs. I’m so thankful those messages are starting to see some pushback and the culture is slowly changing. I hope younger generations of women are less likely to fall into the same traps I did. There’s a big difference between the long slow process of unlearning those messages, vs never having been indoctrinated by them in the first place. FDS gives me hope for the future, not just for myself but for society at large.

oceanbreeze88 · 2021-11-10T21:31:30+00:00

It’s definitely the opposite. I wish I didn’t buy into that culture. The less partners the better, I believe you are preserving the quality of your life in this way too. Whenever you have sex with someone it’s like you’re joining with them. You’re preserving your emotional health and your energy. Save it for the high value one ☝🏻 I have become so much more conservative on this topic hit I believe it’s for the benefit of the quality of life long term! Think of how much time I’d wasted wondering about some random fuckboy you slept with when you could have been progressing and focused on something else.

skyerippa · 2021-11-11T10:20:50+00:00

I actually think the opposite that these studied aren't true anymore. Almost every one I know myself included have slept around alot at this point in our lives (late 20s) all my friends when not in relationships sleep with a new person at least once a month

Title	Hook-up culture is a lie! (This time with math!)
Author	GabbaG0ul
Upvotes	326
Comments	20
Date	November 10, 2021 3:13 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qqwkjj/hookup_culture_is_a_lie_this_time_with_math/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/hook-up-culture-is-a-lie-this-time-with-math.1084845 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084845

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