Another way men get shafted: divorce savings rates amongst men and women.

47omek · 2022-01-01T17:06:44+00:00

Pretty standard. Mine got half of the gains on my premarital 401k amount even in addition to half of what I'd added during marriage and its gains. The market had doubled in the 7 year time period we were married so it was a pretty substantial amount. Marriage is designed to be a wealth transfer from men to women.

According_Trifle87 · 2022-01-01T18:42:14+00:00

My ex....took off, left the minor kid with me. I was awarded full custody but she got my entire retirement and roughly 90% of the other assets. She was also awarded a large sum of alimony and admitted in court to living in a supportive relationship with another man for the last 3 years (she was supporting him)...the court refuses to terminate the alimony and has also modified our original final judgement to benefit her even further. Family courts need to be abolished...they are criminal.

giraffe-zackeffron · 2022-01-02T01:46:10+00:00

Men absolutely get sodomized in divorce court. My ex dropped out of community college and was making shit money when we married. I worked my ass off for as long as I can remember. Was an honor student in college, three scholarships = free college. Joined the military after college, did my required time and got out. Got a masters degree, good job, etc. When we went to divorce court, we each had to list all of our assets. Literally everything we owned had to be listed. The judge read through the list item by item asking each of us to make an argument as to why we should get that particular item. He awarded around 90% of the stuff to her. His argument was; Mr. Effron, as you have an advanced degree and several years of professional experience and your wife does not, I think it will be more difficult for her to start again with nothing than it will be for you. Therefore I’ve awarded almost everything to her.

My dumbass got married again and after a dozen years, I’m headed back to divorce court. This time is going to hurt. I have far more now than I had then. Bet your ass I won’t be getting married ever again. For you young guys reading this…I know; she’s awesome, she’s fun, she’s cool and she watches sports with you. All your friends and family like her and you’re sure she’s the one. But don’t do it. Because while she’s awesome now and the sex is wild, a few months into marriage and she will be the worst person you’ve ever known. Just don’t do it. Got yourself a girlfriend who has her own place. Have sleepovers and have fun and enjoy it but when she starts pushing for marriage, just move on. It ain’t worth it.

SpacemanLost · 2022-01-01T17:19:08+00:00

My ex got almost 75% of my retirement account along with all our other meager assets. she was SHAM, never working since we married young, and was never satisfied with the money I earned or her spending. Her out of control spending and demand for nicer car; bigger house, etc. combined with bad timing - housing crash, 08 recession and a couple other bad choices (having Merrill Lynch manage a windfall and advise us for their gain, not ours) had us deep in the red at the time the divorce went through.

With 2 small kids, It was clear I was going to get the short end of the settlement in the courts no matter what I did, so I offered her a front loaded settlement that took away her ability to come back for more in any form. That included my borrowing $20k from my new employer to provide as a down payment on her 'dream house' and getting her a brand new SUV. That lion's share of my retirement account to her was needed so the mortgage and car loan could be put in her name only.

She lived high on the hog, getting $5K/mo cash for a couple years, but was in for a rude awakening as she blew through everything, including said retirement account in just a year and had no concept of things like taxes. She married sucke.. er .. hubby #2 less than 2 weeks after the last alimony check cleared.

Wife #2? Over a decade in and we still don't have any shared accounts. She makes 6-figures, and has built up her retirement accounts better than I have, despite paying as much in child support to her ex as I do. And yes, we have a prenup.

Massive-Lychee-4518 · 2022-01-01T20:02:16+00:00

Man I'm looking pretty smart now having told all these exgf that I was never going to marry them lol. I have a good income and decent net worth for my age. I get to keep it all while those exgf just dumped me and went on to the someone else lmao. Feels great to have this much success.

freeagent2120 · 2022-01-01T19:53:34+00:00

Yea men get the shaft. Lost a substatial amount from my retirement. She had little to no retirement because she had cashed it out leaving us a huge IRS bill. But now I realize how much little money I need. And it has shown a light in to her spending habits. I will be fine. She will blow through her half of my retirement within 5 years I am sure. Marriage is a business deal. Love is the bait to get engaged in that deal.

SilverknightFL · 2022-01-01T17:08:27+00:00

True, and my ratio is 15:1. But if we stayed married, retirement savings of both would have benefited both, in the same way both incomes benefited both of us.

used2befast · 2022-01-02T14:23:44+00:00

Yep.

My ex was an attorney herself. I met her she was 3 years out of law school making $180K/yr. I always made less than her, but lived frugally and invested in income producing properties, businesses and my 401K and IRA.

We were married 12 years. I always paid all the bills. All she paid for was babysitting and for the kids to go to Catholic school ( $1500/mo for both).

At the time of our divorce she still had $200K in school debt, and had racked up $120K in credit card debt.

She went after EVERYTHING. Even my life savings of my late mother who worked 49 years at the same position only to get Stave IV cancer right when she retired and spent her 3 years "retired" actively dying. She gave estate planning advice to my parents that benefitted her in the divorce. Made false claims that implicated my fathers estate. Tried to have me arrested on a false DV charge as well as making a claim that I was inappropriate with my daughter. Said I abandoned my family when I went to care for my mom in her final days.

bomb_adrenaline · 2022-01-02T22:37:24+00:00

Sad to say, but I’ll never get married again, and maybe through church but I don’t want her to sneak in a judge, so I think I’m good forever

GeologistNo9135 · 2022-01-02T21:44:39+00:00

Any idea what happens if I have 100k in my own savings account before filing for and after divorce?

RepresentativeOk5968 · 2022-01-06T14:44:49+00:00

I have seen this first hand. My exe didn't have much to her name except 50k in student loan debts. Maybe a couple thousand in a 401k that her daddy set up for her. Then we split and she instantly has more money than she has ever had in her life at the snap of her fingers. It was so infuriarting; especially when I offered what I felt was a fair settlement of our accounts and she went after me for alimony anyway...

Title	Another way men get shafted: divorce savings rates amongst men and women.
Author	azwildcat74
Upvotes	50
Comments	62
Date	January 1, 2022 4:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/rtmmrw/another_way_men_get_shafted_divorce_savings_rates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/another-way-men-get-shafted-divorce-savings-rates.1093455 https://theredarchive.com/post/1093455

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