Happy I got married at 20 and didn't get peer pressured into hook-up culture

emmalai85 · 2022-06-15T13:59:22+00:00

i got married at 20, too. It still shocks people and people make weird comments about stuff, and I just turned 37 yesterday and I'm still married to the same man. lol

OkraGarden · 2022-06-15T11:02:49+00:00

I got married at 21 and I feel the same way. Now that my husband and I are middle aged we can plainly see what happened to our school friends who chose the trendier, more modern life paths. They are either still single and childless in their mid-40s or they are single mothers to mulitple kids who have different dads. They thought hooking up with strangers and prioritizing career over family was fun and smart at 24 but at 44 it's just sad and lonely.

LadySandcastle · 2022-06-15T14:29:47+00:00

If you genuinely know what you want from a relationship, what fulfills you and also what are deal-breaker then I believe that is when you are ready.

My husband and I met earlyish twenties, moved in right away and got married about 2 years later in the court house. One of the workers asked how long we'd been together and scrunched up his face when we answered lol. We'd learned from past LTRs that we were a good match though and could work through any issues we had.

If you figure that out even earlier then there's not much reason to wait. Problem is most people lie to themselves about what they want, what they can tolerate etc. Or they change massively in their 20s with college etc. There are also no fixer uppers, you have to accept them as is..

Glad-Discount-4761 · 2022-06-15T17:51:34+00:00

Great for you👍.

I am jealous of you lol.I wished I did same.Now hitting the wall realised what I followed is useless.

m_owom · 2022-06-15T18:12:52+00:00

Same here. I got married at 21 and aside from dodging the hook up culture bullet, I think it made us better partners and better people. Figuring out adulthood together really cemented our relationship and made me feel like we could get through anything. I can also see a huge difference in maturity levels between my husband and other men his age. I think being put in the provider position early and taking on the responsibility of leading his own family made him a more confident and driven man. For me, finding fulfillment in being a wife and a mother and seeing the value I bring to my family, also made me so much more secure, and gave me a sense of direction.

Advanced_Tadpole7046 · 2022-06-15T15:32:12+00:00

I got married at 22, he was my first formal boyfriend that i met at 21. Im also glad I married young and did not have to succumb to what media portrays about how life of a single woman should be . I don't feel like a missed out anything.

TodayOk3596 · 2022-06-15T16:40:29+00:00

This is encouraging to me as a 19 year old man who is starting to entertain similar thoughts :)

saddensgirl · 2022-06-15T16:57:12+00:00

I got married at 25, but met my husband at 20. I told him straight away I was only dating with the intention of marriage. Now when I look at the current dating scene I thank God that I don't have to put up with it.

I told my husband that if he died tomorrow, I would just stay single forever because I don't have the emotional capacity or patience to deal with the games of modern dating.

Legitimate_Ocelot718 · 2022-06-15T14:14:25+00:00

Same here. I can't imagine trying to start dating for marriage and parenthood in this climate.

golden_eyed_cat · 2022-06-15T17:31:03+00:00

I got married a year ago, at the age of 23, and have been with my husband since I was 19. I don’t have any regrets either!

henrycatalina · 2022-06-15T12:44:13+00:00

I'll give another perspective. My wife of 45 years was the one for me. At 21 we I went exclusive and I married at 23. I don't think I was ever the one as whenever life throws us problems she's quite clearly shown how I ruined her original plan.

Back in the 70s she was clearly on the modern day path when we met. She'd been dating more and trying out different men. This behavior I believe leaves an imprint on some women where they always will doubt their mate selection.

Almost everyone was getting married in their early twenties back in the late 70s. Marrying then because everyone was also was not a good move. Marrying because you found the one has worked out in my observation.

Loosing the attitude that you found the one is a miserable experience for all. Sometimes the "one" causes this thought. When this happens you must work hard to leave the door open to recovery and not dwell on "I could have done better".

blueberrywaffles3 · 2022-06-15T15:36:55+00:00

I’m younger than most people here and hookup culture is RAMPANT. People who are 18/19 feel the need to lose their virginity as soon as possible. People don’t view it as special anymore. I don’t necessarily believe in waiting until marriage but I do 100% believe in firm commitment before sex.

Sankdamoney · 2022-06-15T17:14:35+00:00

I envy you. I wanted marriage at your age, but succumbed to the peer pressure and played “cool girl,” hoping various guys would fall in love with me after sex.

FuckOffRedditMods · 2022-06-15T13:55:25+00:00

Although I am happy for you, 20 is still a young age. You still do lots of stupid/uninformed things at this age. Marrying is one of the biggest decisions in life. You can live with your partner for years, if not decades and not be married. I also think hook-up culture is garbage, yet marrying after one year seems kinda rushed too. Just my personal insight.

lovelixerbb · 2022-06-15T20:13:36+00:00

It's not either/or. Can meet your man young and not hook up with other guys.

flsl999 · 2022-06-16T00:12:01+00:00

I got married at 22 or 22. Same here girl!

NorCal_Classy_BBC · 2022-06-15T11:59:18+00:00

Excellent posts and comments. Well Done 🙂

PsychologicalAd6389 · 2022-06-15T22:32:28+00:00

!remindme 5 years

Spare_Noise1391 · 2022-06-15T14:07:23+00:00

That's a weird thing to be happy about.. who cares?

oliveshoot · 2022-06-15T22:32:20+00:00

I wanted to avoid divorce like the plague, so I was reading relationship books in my teens. I was serious about not wasting my time with men I did not trust to offer a good example to children. I also was vetting men before dating them, and I am not saying that I was perfect in the process, but my higher standard for not wasting time on useless dates seemed to pay off. I wanted to have people’s approval at that age, but I realized that who I got married to was in the top three biggest decisions I would make for my own happiness and that I had agency to impact my future happiness.

titlejunk · 2022-06-16T04:28:04+00:00

And you are how old now?

warm20 · 2022-06-15T12:22:23+00:00

nice congratulations

Green__Bananas · 2022-06-16T02:54:46+00:00

Kudos to you. Very smart move, ignore the haters. Hope you and your husband have a great marriage.

Paddington_Fear · 2022-06-15T22:13:10+00:00

Welp I felt lucky when I got married at 21 too, but then my husband dumped me at 32 🙃

HefeRefe · 2022-06-16T02:01:05+00:00

Good for you OP, and to all the ladies that chose this path.

A lot of women in here are going to be salty. I'd even wager that those of you who married at your peak sexual market value and are still married... You don't hang out with any single women or have them as friends.

Single women try to keep other women single.

Sadly this is the minority, getting married at your peak sexual market value vs chasing a career/bag first.

Good on you OP. 👏👏👰

Title	Happy I got married at 20 and didn't get peer pressured into hook-up culture
Author	SnooOranges9475
Upvotes	211
Comments	36
Date	June 15, 2022 10:45 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/vcrnhy/happy_i_got_married_at_20_and_didnt_get_peer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/happy-i-got-married-at-20-and-didnt-get-peer.1119650 https://theredarchive.com/post/1119650

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