Losing contact with kids

sicrm · 2022-07-28T15:50:56+00:00

kids are very impressible and can be easily manipulated especially if your ex was the one that was the primary parent.

outside of sending a message along the lines of you’ll be there if they ever need help, no matter the situation, there’s not much you can do.

some people go the send gifts, texts and letters route.

others just send the check, go on with their lives, and hope one day the veil gets lifted.

it’s up to you whether you do one of those two or a mix of them.

tyyyy110 · 2022-07-28T15:53:18+00:00

Got a buddy who left his wife after 20+yrs of marriage and putting up with her sh*t. He moved several states away from her. Their 3 grown children stopped talking to him after he left.

Fast forward to now...Currently he's fighting for his life after having a stroke. They all are feeling like sh*t for not talking to their dad for over a year.

MillenialShift · 2022-07-28T15:51:09+00:00

To prevent this, make sure you get 50% custody

One-Donkey-9418 · 2022-07-28T16:46:10+00:00

This is what I'm dealing with, ex wife has 100% custody. She cheated, she divorced me and drove my kids against me, they seldom answer the phone. She brainwashed them and they sided with mom even though she's the one that deliberately broke the family bond. I just send the cheque and stay no contact. It hurts but what can you do.

James1933-75 · 2022-07-28T17:54:39+00:00

The poisoning is a thing. My stbxw accused me of poisoning our eldest, when I had done no such thing. Low and behold, my 25-month old toddler climbs into the bed this morning, and clear as day says to me, "Dad-dy, are you mad at mom-ma?". What toddler does that? He can barely talk. He must have heard that phrase quite a few times to be able to ask me that.

No-Letterhead-649 · 2022-07-28T20:14:39+00:00

Currently dealing with this. Kid lives 4hrs away with STBx and I pull weekend shifts to make extra money to cover all expenses. Leaves little time to make the drive and when I do it’s an exhausting day with 8 hours of driving. Get ridiculed for not seeing her more and shamed if I do anything other than work and make the drive to see the child. STBx states I broke the family bond and tries to equate me leaving her as leaving the child to which I reply I will happily take sole custody of the child if she preferred. They want to make it seem as if you divorced the children as well as them which isn’t true. It just plays to their narrative of the victim single mom. I do what I can and try to FaceTime during the week after work (she’s 3 which is very difficult in and of itself) with a broken coparenting system or high conflict ex, don’t expect to have the same relationship but do whatever you can do the kids know you’re there. Just my 0.02

nomdeprune · 2022-07-28T23:15:40+00:00

The people I know who don't have contact with their children are in that situation because the ex-spouse alienated the children from them.

eyesayhello · 2022-07-28T17:24:34+00:00

No. I've had rough times though since our divorce was high conflict. Children have a hard time blaming the mother for anything despite how bad she is.

upvotersfortruth · 2022-07-29T04:56:45+00:00

Absent abuse, both parents should be supporting (if not downright enforcing) contact between the kids and the other parent. Depending on the ages of the kids, they're not really in the position to be making this kind of decision and they certainly don't see the benefit in doing anything they don't feel like doing. This is a conversation to have with the ex.

Title	Losing contact with kids
Author	unsurefamily
Upvotes	7
Comments	26
Date	July 28, 2022 2:54 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/wac1r1/losing_contact_with_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/losing-contact-with-kids.1125380 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125380

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