A noob mistake: leaving the self-improvement journey after getting the first high-value woman

Stallion88inTx · 2022-10-07T02:52:19+00:00

Dude some of us took DECADES to learn this shit...and THOUSANDS and Thousands of hard earned dinero. Consider yours a "Cheap Tuition" and bodly go forth!

RedPillDad · 2022-10-07T03:40:41+00:00

Betafication is a common problem for guys in relationships. They do it to themselves, thinking they've cracked the code and "she's different". They stop game and shift into complacent, loyal boyfriend mode.

Women will hook up with guys who turn cold once the sex conquest is complete. She was treated special for a week or two and then things go flat. Worse is the seemingly masculine man who does a beta shift going all soft, sweet and clingy trying to be the perfect boyfriend. It's like his balls disappeared and he turned into a girlfriend.

In LTR's the woman might do things to turn a guy more beta, lessening her insecurity of losing him. But the main culprit is usually the dude himself.

One of the clever ways to break up with a woman who is hooked on you is to perform a beta sunset. Play the part of that clingy, beta boyfriend and she'll soon be giving you the "Let's be friends" speech.

themostgianthorse · 2022-10-07T00:43:57+00:00

Excellent retrospect and do not forget this lesson.

A woman can NEVER be your mission.

My only critique is the business about keeping her on Instagram to let her know that she fucked up.

No. You cannot afford any temptations while you get back on track. This idea even popping in your head is an indication that you are still emotionally invested. Delete/unfollow.

happygigachad · 2022-10-07T10:54:37+00:00

As a man life is gonna punish you for being too comfortable no matter who you are. Every single time.

redhawkes · 2022-10-08T21:54:03+00:00

Shout out to Triadis for this analogy.

Women are really interested in tigers. They're strong, pretty, nice to pet, protectors, have an "I'm the king of all I see" vibe, dangerous, and great status symbols.

To actually keep a tiger, though, it's convenient to train them to walk on a leash, not eat the occasional lamb, piss in the designated area, sleep in a cage, etc.

Problem is, tigers don't like being caged or on a leash. This is against their nature. Some do get domesticated, though, even learn tricks. It's helpful to chop off their balls to accomplish this domestication.

Problem is, doing this makes them lose all the attributes that made them attractive in the first place.

They become compliant little kitties.

Women then realize all the excitement around owning a tiger has evaporated, because now they're walking down the street with wrinkled tiger balls in their purse, holding the leash of an overgrown neutered housecat.

Guess what? They begin the search for another tiger. Don't become a pussy. Stay tiger.

videogames_ · 2022-10-07T11:00:41+00:00

you experienced your oneitis. When you said you’re falling for her too you lost your frame and eventually the girl. It isn’t your fault that most women don’t like honesty that way. Most women especially these days want thrills and men to stay mysterious. She was with the ex because deep down the cold demeanor of her ex is what she desired.

ThePermanentGuest · 2022-10-07T18:27:23+00:00

You're a sharp guy. Very introspective and attentive to underlying lessons.

I kept her on Instagram so she will know how she fucked up big time

Fight the urge to do this. It just keeps her on your mind and causes you to fantasize about your success without her. Worst case scenario, she realizes she's done wrong and tries to get back in, only for the game to repeat itself.

darkmauveshore · 2022-10-07T05:03:38+00:00

Hey, at least she didn't trick you into marrying her and take half your shit!

sussykeke · 2022-10-07T11:25:43+00:00

Same, was sexless for a while in a 4-year relationship. Re-read some of my favorite redpill books while on a trip, when I came back, I started gaming her. Sex came right back.

It's never the women, you do it to yourself lol

hetero_gym_invite · 2022-10-07T08:10:09+00:00

Getting back into the gym and reading and writing will not help you if you're the kind of guy who calls ex girlfriends. That's a part of your personality that's weak. Sure being more attractive will get you more girls, and with more girls you will care less about any one of them in particular, but you want to have the kind of mental discipline to move on even if she's your last chance at happiness.

And it's not even a matter of experience. I know guys who've been with probably a hundred girls and they'll still fall apart at the seams and do stupid shit when they get dumped by someone they love. Muscles or career success or being bad ass alpha whatever won't help there.

UltraPoss · 2022-10-07T11:48:58+00:00

First of all, I'm proud of you fellow stranger, your story sounds a bit like mine although I'm from a north African country and not the middle east. Good job understanding the mistake you have made, never forget your mission. Men are more important to women than women are to men. Repeat after me : men are more important to women than women are to men. We have the energy, the drive, the will, the discipline. You know a woman is high value when she i the one who pushes you to go conquer the world. They exist, find them.

MrAnderzon · 2022-10-07T01:35:49+00:00

You got caught slipping

Dust yourself off and get back on it

Learn from this don’t forget this

That-Potential-5684 · 2022-10-07T17:54:19+00:00

she started to fall for me and she doesn’t want that right now. I was like ok

That was a shit test. So far you were doing good...

but I am falling for you too and that is fine.

...and you failed it here.

two days later she dropped the bomb on me saying she doesn't want to fall in love now and she wants to focus on her study and career since she moved here to do these.

That was another, bigger shit test. The best response in the world: 'OK' with a stone cold face and soft next.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2022-10-07T09:15:44+00:00

There is no logic in it but seeing how you reacted you gotta understand that her strategy was a good one if you drop everything over her right now you wouldn't have been able to face the other challenges either and her ex wasn't all in like that, and would have made it easier for her to continue her studies.

She hasn't cut you off she's just navigating the emotions and trying to balance what the most reliable way forward would be, so hey it got intense, dangerously so and she pulled back for her sake, love would have been a distraction. For you as well.

Woujo · 2022-10-08T16:27:15+00:00

There is a very simple formula to this.

Focus on your purposes and only pay women attention if and when they have done something to contribute to your emotional experience. And no matter what you do, never, ever let a woman throw you off your big purposes (career, self-improvement, lifting, eating right, etc.)

Izalias · 2022-10-07T20:55:11+00:00

“Peace has cost you your strength. Victory has defeated you.” (Bane)

teeekuuu · 2022-10-07T20:23:16+00:00

The only way to live a good life as a man is to have a life where you make the womans life better , doesn’t really matter which one. Of you catch yourself thinking that there’s no way I could do better - that’s when you’ve gone soft and have to start working at it

And not better in a retarded way. You can get your girl flowers if she’s into you, it’s like 20$ to make her feel good. As long as it’s not coming from a place of “please sleep with me”.

armin_si · 2022-10-10T06:26:33+00:00

Someone needs to tell you this: she is ABSOLUTELY fucking the "ex-bf", no matter what she told you. Reread the sidebar if you dont believe me.

You gave her too much of your time / attention before getting anything in return and it made her dry.

Good luck for the next one.

filli1aj · 2022-10-07T18:55:04+00:00

Good write up and field report.

Oneitis gets the best of us. Every guy goes through it eventually. Even post awakening Oneitis is always a heart to heart conversation away.

Similar to religious practice, we have to return to our discipline or craft with high frequency lest we forget. Stray for too long and you can fall for the same traps that you did when still plugged in and unaware. Recognizing mistakes and picking yourself up after you fall is part of the growing process. Keep getting better and you'll keep doing better.

liamjacobjose4 · 2022-10-17T17:21:01+00:00

What I've learned is once a girl tells you "I've moved on", don't hope for her to come back instead close that chapter immediately and immediately move on with your 2nd chick. As guys, we actually try to make it work if we are serious and even while being in no contact, we want her to contact us. To make it simple, we "HOPE" for a reconciliation even after months and sometimes, years. Even when we fuck other women, we hope for a reconciliation.

Loving another woman is the easiest way to forget your EX. Have 1 serious woman and 2 concubines so you wouldn't really run out of chicks anyway.

Now no matter how jacked you are and how perfect you're right now - one day you'll become imperfect AKA losing frame and I think mine happened when my dog died. Anyway, either you lose frame or not, one day your girl is going to be with someone else. I know its a defeating idea but that's the truth bro. Now, the problem isn't your girl running away with some MF, the real problem is you hope if that didn't happen or if she came back to you dumping that guy.

What's the real problem? When men break up, usually its to threaten her to fall back in place but when women break up, they do it because they can't control themselves to function properly due to XYZ reasons. So men will love to reunite with their EX(If it was just a fight) but women wouldn't really go to their EX ever.

HolyAlucard · 2022-10-07T11:38:23+00:00

A 100 years ago life was pretty rough for everyone and you were humbled each day, thankful to be alive.

Now life is so comfortable and easy, people have lost touch with their spirit. So it's all about ego nowadays in these luciferean times.

Love is giving, selfless, painful and it comes from the spirit, not the body. So if you're in love, getting a message from her would give you a cortisol spike rather than a dopamine hit. Lust is an inversion of love.

So if that's the kind of relationship you want, you'll have to become in touch with your own spirit that can override impulses/signals from the body. When you've gained mastery over your own body, you can finally guide a woman to become in touch with her own spirit. You'll become two human beings that love each other rather than a man and woman.

gwankovera · 2022-10-07T14:05:30+00:00

In relationship to drawing a woman's interests focusing on yourself and living your best quality life is important. It shows that you are not going to be sidetracked from your goals. You are doing what you enjoy and having a good time, and they want to be part of the fun.
Going after your goals will also put you in a position where you can reach them and continually improve your own life.
Make time to have fun with the people around you but do not do it at the expense of your passions and life goals.

LONEGOAT13_ · 2022-10-06T23:52:15+00:00

Good luck on your Journey Friend

JocBro3 · 2022-10-07T08:41:44+00:00

I’m falling into this trap myself

Haven’t been focused on work, not consistent with diet or gym, not hanging with friends.

Nearby_Ad_5684 · 2022-10-07T08:52:32+00:00

She def got pipped by the ex. Explains why she was reluctant w you. Anyways be proud for all you learned n the man you’ll become

TimeXo9 · 2022-10-07T18:14:56+00:00

well, never let your guard down. literally

MacaronFinancial · 2022-10-07T16:21:52+00:00

I get that you're ethnic and going after white women? There's your problem. The races diverged far away from one another and most white women who can afford a white partner will want a white man. They want their children to look like themselves and have a choice of being born with a variety of hair colors other than black.

Most men from the Middle-East are also missing the tip of their penis because they were forcefully marked for religious reasons as children. It's a constant reminder of their different background and can make sex uncomfortable for the woman.

kuziadog · 2022-11-06T19:16:20+00:00

Been there done that you aren't along my g. Just be happy you learnt your lesson fast.

A noob mistake: leaving the self-improvement journey after getting the first high-value woman

Don't do that my red pill bro!!!! don't stop just because you got the beta's dream.

Comments

Title	A noob mistake: leaving the self-improvement journey after getting the first high-value woman
Author	binaryCube1337
Upvotes	337
Comments	85
Date	October 6, 2022 10:59 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/xxixl4/a_noob_mistake_leaving_the_selfimprovement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/a-noob-mistake-leaving-the-self-improvement.1134815 https://theredarchive.com/post/1134815