How are men supposed to communicate better?

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-11-04T17:23:25+00:00

Please wait at least 12 hours between posts.

MistyMaisel · 2022-11-04T15:26:40+00:00

I don't really mind how mature men communicate. I mind how immature or insecure people communicate because they're usually concealing expectations, desires, manipulations, events, needs, emotions, and interests from me. And I despise that. They also tend to be quick to attack and slow to praise or be pleasant. I find that irritating as well. In my experience, men have been more immature in these areas.

I do think a lot of men struggle to listen well in the sense of using their ears and minds as a genuine display of caring. There's a lot of "mhmmmming" followed by not having heard the important things mentioned and then days later going, "Wait, you never mentioned that" when we absolutely did, you just were only listening to every 7th word.

I also mind the emphasis on, "I'm being totally rational" as a concealment for completely bullshit emotions that are simply being framed using the aesthetic of logic and rationality. I don't care to have everything be a debate which I must win in order to receive appropriately loving treatment. If I have to debate you into a corner to receive love, it's going to make me not want you or your love or to communicate with you.

waffleznstuff30 · 2022-11-04T16:00:23+00:00

This is really wholesome 🖤😌 I give you props for learning.

Being clear and concise isn't bad. Sometimes a yes or no is needed or what you want. Are we meeting up later? Do you want me to pick up this or that at the store? What would you like?

Things like that don't need long drawn out things.

But if it's something intimate. Like you are having a conversation about music....or like unrelated and its like boom sexual conversation. That's gross. While being upfront is great using tact or waiting is more appropriate and appreciated. Or a hi how's your day and it's like "send nudes" like no. While putting it out there is great it's like really dude.

I think appealing to our emotions or having a conversation that ignites something we are passionate about. And when you do feel unsatisfied or bothered or have a concern. Bring it up in a kind way. One thing is sometimes when a concern or something comes up it comes off as accusatory instead of something you feel.

Ex. "You were short with me last night, that was rude" which is clear and to the point. Yes but it comes off as finger pointing. Or accusing the person.

Instead. "When you spoke to me last night, I felt like you were upset. Is everything okay?". So you leave room for the other person.

Tricky_Dog1465 · 2022-11-04T15:19:15+00:00

From a woman's point of view, just don't come off creepy.

Women tend to be pretty friendly, but if you're asking where we live, immediately asking if we are with someone, makes it sound like you are about to start stalking.

Other than that, just try to be natural. We may have the same things in common. I know plenty of other women like myself, who love dnd, online gaming, riding motorbikes, festivals, car shows, ect.

KlingKlangKing · 2022-11-04T15:35:09+00:00

Who said we don't communicate well?

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-11-04T16:15:11+00:00

Well, most men could start by not hiding or lying about their intentions and relationship goals just to get laid. Straight forward communication would be nice in the dating market.

toasterchild · 2022-11-04T16:42:19+00:00

When people talk about improving it's almost never about when things are baseline and "fine". If how you respond when things were fine was the goal rarely would anyone have to self improve. What do you do when you are getting frustrated? What about when you are upset? What about when something really bad happens? Do you shut down and shut people out so they are left guessing? Can you even identify your emotions? Do you get mean when stressed? do you get passive aggressive? Are you communicating your needs? How specific are you communicating your needs? Are you upset that your partner isn't a mind reader when you are hurting?

Sazlach · 2022-11-04T17:16:48+00:00

As a man

unironically assume the person you are talking to is 15 iq points beneath you. The majority of women are solely interested in ephemeral, aimless or general consumerist thought and/or trends.

Exceptions: Trying to find LTR

No-Rough-7390 · 2022-11-04T14:53:20+00:00

Women aren’t men. And you should stop expecting them to be.

Most of the communication arguments are bullshit that are used to obfuscate the fact that she finds the man she is with unattractive. More often than not, if you remove attention and start doing your own thing rather than prioritizing the “communication” that is being stressed, the problems sort themselves out. Ask me how I know.

Sudden_Difference500 · 2022-11-04T14:59:41+00:00

Who says that men need to communicate better?

DaddysCavern · 2022-11-04T15:21:19+00:00

Don't worry, us men do communicate better.

AutoModerator · 2022-11-04T14:46:03+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Title	How are men supposed to communicate better?
Author	smallstarseeker
Upvotes	1
Comments	31
Date	November 4, 2022 2:46 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ym0xax/how_are_men_supposed_to_communicate_better/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-are-men-supposed-to-communicate-better.1138139 https://theredarchive.com/post/1138139

Comments