Men which want a relationship should instead look for sex

Reasonable-Push-9422 · 2022-10-27T09:50:27+00:00

Men shouldn’t waste time on a rigged game unless they have the aptitude for it. Which you’ll know if you do depending on if you have gotten interest from women before, if you have then good for you, if you haven’t then consider giving up and letting go.

belachewhm · 2022-10-27T16:04:39+00:00

I completely agree with this. The serious relationships I have had started with sex (or moreover, sexual desire)

wtknight · 2022-10-27T12:33:03+00:00

I personally think that having the right personality, similar life goals, and being in love with the person is much more important than “sexual compatibility”. The honeymoon phase eventually goes away. Because of this, I prefer to wait until the other person and myself actually have feelings for each other besides lust. I think that couples not waiting until this point before having sex is why many relationships eventually fail.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2022-10-27T17:43:45+00:00

I only realized this a couple of years ago. Every woman who wanted to wait past three dates ended up being a terrible relationship for me. There's truth in the saying " If she wanted to, she would".

BoogersAndSugar · 2022-10-29T21:26:22+00:00

I've come up with exactly the same strategy and it's consistently worked wonderfully. It screens out the women who only find you "attractive" in a pragmatic sense. The quality of relationships that started out as FWBs were on a whole other level - WAY more respectful, no more shitty attitude, no more excessive demands, far more faithful and trustworthy, etc. It's been a major eye-opening experience! Once you experience what it's like to be in a relationship with someone whose legitimately sexually attracted to you, not just pretending to be so, you'll never go back to dating women who are merely "willing" to be with you. I call such women "settlers", and yes, they're trouble down the line - she won't respect you, will eventually resent you, probably cheat on you, will definitely dead-bedroom you, and will come with excessive demands in order to "compensate" for your looks/height (but it'll never be enough), then she'll likely divorce you. Relationships with women who merely "gave you a chance" rarely ever end well.

InfoVariety-8842 · 2022-10-27T11:17:09+00:00

I think the overall point makes sense but you’re looking at it from too lowly of a point, and putting women on too much of a pedestal. Women are more likely to want sparks and magic and feelings, so give it to them if you want to be considered. Set your dates and your personality and your actions up accordingly. Sex is one way. So is having a desirable persona, looking attractive, taking initiative. If you don’t create some magic, a lot of women won’t even consider you romantically at all. Others will claim they don’t care about it, but feel bored and uninterested in the relationship, and have no idea why.

That doesn’t mean men are worthless, or whatever you are implying. But I do think you need to “pursue your target audience,” so to speak, and not treat her with traditional logic that doesn’t apply in todays world.

modidlee · 2022-10-27T19:17:31+00:00

All the women I had strong sexual chemistry with wanted a relationship with me. The women I didn't have strong sexual chemistry with didn't want a relationship with me. Basically women want relationships with men that are good in bed.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-27T09:17:05+00:00

I think that's just you. Looking for casual sex because there's a chance it might become a relationship is usually counterproductive. And being sexually compatible doesn't ensure any other compatibility.

Equal_Ad_3805 · 2022-10-27T10:45:31+00:00

The way you look for relationships isn’t necessarily the way other people should. And you’ll find only what you’re looking for, for the most part. If you’re looking for sex, you’ll primarily find partners that just want casual sex. If you’re looking for a relationship, your primary pool will then be those that are in a relationship. Changing your strategy doesn’t change the outcome because girls aren’t gonna go “I can tell he’s trying to fuck me to see if we’re compatible”, they’re gonna go “ugh He’s just another dude looking for sex”. I don’t think this strategy is a very good one.

rivetcitymayor · 2022-10-27T13:45:04+00:00

If you are a guy who is looking for a relationship specifically , you are essentially playing the opposite team’s game , on their court and in their home town

You should be looking for sex and pick the one you like most outside of sex for a relationship

Glad-Improvement-812 · 2022-10-27T09:46:57+00:00

It really isn’t hard as a female to find good sex. Or vet for whether it will be good sex before actually having the sex.

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calfshrug · 2022-10-27T16:13:44+00:00

I also found the love of my life in a place I never expected. And it was just in the pursuit of sex. But I became the worse partner, not the better. I was a liar from the beginning because of my inadequacies and insecurity and compulsion and lack of feeling that I could be ok.

I didn’t have sex with her until dating over a month, also, so she put it off for a long time, and it was her first time

bunnakay · 2022-10-27T13:56:50+00:00

If you prioritize sex above all else, sure. But that's exactly why I make men wait: to filter that type out.

AntiFeminismAU · 2022-10-27T10:21:12+00:00

You have a point. However the way I see it is that if a woman is able to resist sex on the first date it means her libido is usually too low for me. I have a very high libido and need a partner with similar. If a girl has a very high libido it will be too difficult for her to wait. So in that way i’m actually most compatible with women who have sex on the first date since it means our libido will match.

platinirisms · 2022-10-27T12:56:56+00:00

I don’t care about sex, I care about meeting someone who’s values are similar to mine and who I can see myself hanging out with multiple hours a day.

Just looking for sex means sleeping with women who, while I would be physically attracted to them, I could not date for long due to having vastly different values in life.

Aka, sleeping with women you know doesn’t want kids when you youself want kids, what’s the point?

labellefille28 · 2022-10-27T13:08:08+00:00

That’s faulty logic and not reflective of want most women want or pretend to want. Sex and a relationship are entirely different things. Sex is a physical act that can bring connection or intimacy or can just be perfunctory and a relationship by nature is lead by connection, compatability, values and intimacy. Just cause I have great sex with someone doesn’t mean I want a relationship with them or they are great relationship material. Sex releases chemicals and those chemicals can illicit the ‘feels’ but doesn’t mean it’s grounds for anything else.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-10-27T14:46:53+00:00

If it works for you, that’s cool. But everyone is different, and a lot of women don’t want to have sex until a relationship is established. For men who care about sexual past this also would be poor advice since you’re filtering out low n women. Low n women stay that way by “making” men wait.

kblkbl165 · 2022-10-27T10:48:43+00:00

100% agreed. Have to confess it was incredibly surprising for me when I started visiting PPD and found out there are people who get in a relationship prior to having sex/checking for sexual compatibility.

Not only it sounds like jumping a few steps for me but it also sounds simply counterintuitive. You’re going out with a lady once or twice, you’re both attracted to each other and are having a nice time, why the he’ll wouldn’t you two want to have sex ASAP?

I guess I’m too much of a manwhore that women that hold on to sex as a bargaining tool simply steer away from me. Can’t complain from my part, all my relationships were extremely fulfilling while they lasted and now I can look back fondly to most of them, one of the reasons being that sex compatibility is a huge aspect for me and it was always something taken into consideration.

Mindless-Spare-2454 · 2022-10-27T12:02:09+00:00

I’m sorry but this sentence is anecdotal at best.

“Mens commitment is not nearly as valuable, also Women’s commitment has become valuable”

I’m what world have you been dating, because I think most people would say either parties commitment is valuable to the person they are committing to. You are not entitled to someone’s devotion or commitment, you have to work for it.

It’s also proven that women make men they want a relationship with wait for the physical, but men they don’t see a future with they will just have sex.

Also the fact you’ve based this entirely off sex tells me you’re either very young or just incredibly naive. As a 30 year old successful man who takes care of himself, I couldn’t give a shit about the sex with a woman. I want the intimacy, intellectual equal, someone who will push me to be better & support me in my endeavours.

wtffellification · 2022-10-27T12:04:55+00:00

> Looking at my past all my relationships

Yeah, how did that work out for you?

Haunting_Afternoon62 · 2022-10-28T06:49:06+00:00

If anyone agrees with this they should also not care about n count because this philosophy will make their count waaay higher

Haunting_Afternoon62 · 2022-10-28T06:50:22+00:00

And this can get you stuck in toxic relationships too because you are too pussy whipped or dickmatized

Haunting_Afternoon62 · 2022-10-28T06:52:51+00:00

And increasing chances of having a kid with someone u don't even love, or something toxic and creating a horrible cycle for the child. If only my mom wasn't dickmatized, I would have been safe from so much trauma

Title	Men which want a relationship should instead look for sex
Author	smallstarseeker
Upvotes	61
Comments	113
Date	October 27, 2022 8:53 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	/r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-which-want-a-relationship-should-instead-look.1137164 https://theredarchive.com/post/1137164
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/yemtme/men_which_want_a_relationship_should_instead_look/