I will never fit in any society because I don't find the modern lifestyle appealing

One-Introduction-566 · 2022-11-14T15:56:22+00:00

I think you can find people who share similar values. I’m guessing you are a student? I don’t think it’s wrong to be casual friends or acquaintances who may not share values though. Doesn’t mean you have to engage in what they engage in

youllknowwhenitstime · 2022-11-14T16:55:46+00:00

Are you at a party college? I've never had difficulty finding crowds that aren't into late nights and fooling around, etc. When I was in college I probably only had three friends like that out of a couple dozen and one who used to be until she realized it was pointless and became religious. And two of those three were still high-achieving academically so we had plenty in common.

Do you have creative hobby groups, study groups? Religious community? Sports/exercise/yoga groups? Political clubs? Maybe a couple friends who you can tell you want to expand your circles and ask to be introduced to their friends? When I was in college some of my best friends were prior students of my favorite professor that he introduced me to.

RebelSquareWoman · 2022-11-14T16:33:12+00:00

It can feel like you're the only one especially in your age group when so many are living that lifestyle, but its an illusion because the people quietly going about their lives aren't generally noticed. I think the best thing to do to connect with similar minded people is to try to find something among your interests and hobbies that has a local group that gets together to share in that activity. We have a local sewing shop that hosts workshops and lots of teenage girls and moms go and do projects together etc... (I mention this even though I personally can't stand sewing but i like the idea) . When i was in university i had a group of friends whose idea of a fun friday night was getting together to play role play games. There was usually some drinks but no one would get seriously inebriated as that would take away from the shared joy of the game/story. There was so much wit and intelligence at that table.

2022-11-14T17:14:41+00:00

You gotta find environments that suit or cater to your values. If you’re going to parties, of course it’s going to overwhelmingly be full of people looking for hedonistic pursuits. A class in traditional skills, a hangout at a coffee shop, an area where exercise is the focus, all can give you access to different people.

sicrm · 2022-11-14T17:17:34+00:00

figure out the life you want and take steps to make that life a reality.

everything else outside of work and family/close friends/your SO that have your back is just noise.

sunglasses90 · 2022-11-14T15:54:51+00:00

First you’re not alone. I always felt how you did when I was a young adult. I still had friends and hobbies and an otherwise fulfilling life I just didn’t have boyfriends or sex partners.

I did drink so I did that with my college roommates and went to parties. I never got drunk. I would have a few drinks and chill. I never hooked up. You can also go to parties and not drink.

You don’t HAVE to do anything you don’t want to. There are people who share your values and as far as the ones who don’t you can still find some common ground with hopefully.

LateralThinker13 · 2022-11-14T19:47:07+00:00

I assume you're a college-age woman? In a big western city?

Then yeah, you're going to have this problem. Big cities, college towns, and youth culture are all fairly degenerate these days. What you're in part doing is assuming that what you've encountered is all there is. I can assure you, it isn't - and I think you already know this. I can see you've posted very little on Reddit, and this is one of the two places. So you know we're fairly sane here.

I'm going to be a social reject forever.

Do cut out the "woe is me," however. It isn't a good look. Any woman can secure commitment from a good man these days, if she offers what men want in exchange for it. So I'll ask you my standard question, which most women (even here) seem strangely afraid of answering:

"What do you offer men, that they want, and which other women do not?"

If your answer is nothing, then you already know your issue. And if you can think of nothing that you COULD be offering that modern women generally do not (like domestic skills, a slim, fit, tattoo-less body, demure and pleasant demeanor, ability to converse, etc.) then I can't help you.

painting_ether · 2022-11-15T00:16:31+00:00

Same here. I'm very traditional (not religious) and no-nonsense so if you feel like talking DM me I'm 27 and originally from Argentina, now in the US.

circularj · 2022-11-15T01:24:08+00:00

Hang out with people that take amateur athletics seriously, with about 1000 or so Calories a day for 5 or 6 days a week. That is the party mode.
The rest of life is working/studying, eating, and resting. People aren't taking their genetic heritage seriously. We need lots of exercise that promotes fat metabolism. It engages our minds in a very satisfactory manner, and makes them sharper (since they are metabolic engines).

JustaTcup · 2022-11-15T03:36:13+00:00

It's a shame OP deleted. Looks like she would have gotten at least a few friends here who thought the same way.

Unusual_Elevator_253 · 2022-11-14T23:33:33+00:00

This screams not like other girls. There are plenty of people that share your values

DarmakJalad · 2022-11-14T15:57:02+00:00

Are you at all religious ? If so, there’s a lot of faith based communities both online and in person.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2022-11-14T16:36:39+00:00

If you can only be friends with people who are the exact same as you, then that’s your fault, not everyone else’s.

Broaden your scope of the world. Understand that people can be different than you without being bad or incompatible.

Also there are people like you describe everywhere.

DunboyCastleInTheSky · 2022-11-14T16:13:11+00:00

This is how I felt as well going into my mid-twenties. If you’re in more conservative parts of the countries, it’s easy to find likeminded people and friends at church or while volunteering.

mistressusa · 2022-11-14T16:55:02+00:00

You have a one-dimensional understanding of people. Most people's personalities aren't just "I don't do casual sex" or "I want to be doctor/engineer/IB/etc." At your uni, if you open your mind, you'll notice you are surrounded by people who party and are on premed track, who drink and are honor engineering students, who have sex and volunteer 10hrs/wk at the local women's shelter, etc. If you can only be friends with people who are exactly like you, then yes, you'll continue to lead a boring life.

sadnsociallyawkward · 2022-11-25T00:21:10+00:00

Marry a foreign man, maybe one from somewhere like eastern Europe or Asia or Africa. I'm being serious when I say this. Don't get one with a western education and is 'progressive' because those do exist. There are lots of men in more conservative countries who would love to marry a western woman and have her come and live with him and any man you find is probably going to be attractive with a reasonable job. Your value will go up to these men compared to men in the west. You could get a hotter more handsome guy in Africa or Asia especially than in America.

If I was young again I think that's maybe what I would do.

erunzzz · 2022-11-14T17:57:23+00:00

Hey, know you’re not alone here!❤️ I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m also a college student and I don’t drink, party, or have casual sex. I also don’t have a boyfriend. So I’m in the same boat. I know that those like us are less common and harder to find, but know that there are others out there who are like you.

I’m a new Christian, and joining a church and a campus ministry helped me find likeminded people with the same values. I’d also recommend trying to make friends with women who are bit older, as they are more mature and less likely to partake in the drinking/partying/hookup scene.

I’m a freshman in college but I’m turning 20 in a week (bc of gap year), so most people around me are younger/less mature. I don’t connect well at all with the other freshman. The closest friends I’ve made since moving away to college are from my church (women in their 20’s). If you’re not religious, I recommend volunteering/charity type work :)

Best of luck, and I hope you find the right group of friends! Feel free to reach out too :)

Scared-Tea-8911 · 2022-11-14T19:00:04+00:00

Meh. This sounds like a bit of a pity party dear.

Why does the fact that some people enjoy going out or partying mean you will never be able to make friends? Most people above the age of 25 don’t go out partying, and have plenty of friends! People have jobs/kids/pets and don’t have time for most of that lifestyle once you graduate.

Other peoples sex positivity has nothing to do with you. Typically, people don’t have sex with their friends. Typically, friends don’t encourage friends to have casual sex… it Rarely comes up, even with close friends, and is not a common topic of conversation AT ALL.

Many people are serious students, don’t have casual sex, or if they do don’t burden their friends with the gory details. It sounds like you may have some preoccupations with sexual purity, and that those preoccupations are coloring your view of everyone around you in an unhealthy way. You can be friends with people and never know their sexual history. Many people who are virgins or believe in sexual purity have friends who have casual sex.

How are you screening for people who “share your values”? Is “do you have casual sex” a question you ask acquaintances? Or do you judge people based on their appearance? Or do you just assume that everyone is impure and has casual sex with no basis in reality? If yes to any of these, that might be the deeper issue…

Laurely4u · 2022-11-14T20:03:56+00:00

I will talk to you on the topics you suggested. DM me if you are interested

FriendCountZero · 2022-11-14T21:54:01+00:00

Wanna be friends? I'm 29 and even women my age are impossible.

AutoModerator · 2022-11-14T15:28:41+00:00

Title: I will never fit in any society because I don't find the modern lifestyle appealing

Full text: I basically don't get the appeal of going out late night, drinking, fooling around. I honestly find it depressing and sad. I realized I will never be able to make friends with most people because of this. The idea of being a serious student, studying and being ambitious and only being friends with people that have similar goals makes more sense to me. People that encourage you to have casual sex, I try to stay away from. But sadly most people are like that now and I feel like I will never get along with anybody in this world with my values. I can't give up my values because having casual sex will destroy me emotionally. Is there any place, even on the internet where I can talk to people that have the same values? I'm sick of hearing everyone talk about sex positivity and other nonsense.

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2022-11-17T22:28:22+00:00

I know a lot of men and women that think like you. It’s just a matter of finding them honestly.

You’re not alone !

PsychologicalFood475 · 2022-11-18T09:40:21+00:00

You're not a social reject, you rejected them. Good for you.

Ruffleafewfeathers · 2022-11-25T16:53:52+00:00

I went to one of the biggest party schools in the US and I’m very traditional—I made lots of friends, even though I didn’t participate in hookup culture. I didn’t judge them for their choices and they didn’t judge me for mine. I am guessing the issue is that you’re judgemental, because you can find good people to be friends with even if they aren’t exactly like you.

yohanya · 2022-11-14T15:54:19+00:00

Twitter seems to be a good place. You will likely find people more like you in religious circles as well

Title	I will never fit in any society because I don't find the modern lifestyle appealing
Author	greenappletoday
Upvotes	68
Comments	35
Date	November 14, 2022 3:28 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/yv2pty/i_will_never_fit_in_any_society_because_i_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-will-never-fit-in-any-society-because-i-dont.1139872 https://theredarchive.com/post/1139872

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