Women - The Longer They Are Single, The Less Relationship Ready They Become?

WhereProgressIsMade · 2022-12-13T17:43:18+00:00

It is a bit puzzling to me what button this [having 1000s of social media followers] pushes in the female psyche. Is it the attention? Does it somehow validate her worth? Reassurance that she's attractive? Just a self-esteem boost? A competition with other women to see who has the most followers and is somehow the most "valuable"? Is it some kind of substitute when they don't have a relationship with a guy they're attracted to?

If I were the dating market, I'd probably just steer clear of any women with a very large social media footprint.

Standard-Broccoli107 · 2022-12-13T19:08:34+00:00

I think social media is dangerous. Im an older man who grew up without social media, who get few messages and with a full life, yet still I sometimes struggle to tear myself from my phone.

Imagine how it is for younger people who have grown up with media, who are bombarded by messages and maybe dont have a lot going on irl.

I understand why it was hard for your gf to give up a lot of positive attention, but smart of her to do so.

Alderaansranger · 2022-12-13T20:22:54+00:00

Dude women with social media are so hard to date. They care more about instant gratification and validation from men that shower them with attention and money. Even if they will never meet them.

So yes the longer women are single the deeper down the rabbit hole they go and the harder it is for them to commit. Not to mention women are the more emotional sex and the higher their body count grows the harder it is for them to commit to one person and be happy with them.

Final_Philosopher663 · 2022-12-13T17:45:01+00:00

Yes social media is a fucked up drug that can be hurtful to both sexes in different ways.

A story of a photographer made me realize something truly fucked up. I knew that all social media compete for the "unnoticeable best beauty filter " . This photographer had a client adamant that she was prettier in IG from the photos he took. The photographer explained that he did heavy editing to take out "imperfections" but still she thought that his pictures were making her less pretty than she actually is.

Psychology needs to check these problems cause to me it sounds frightening.

I don't even wanna touch that online validation is a drug.

Hugs_seeker · 2022-12-13T19:49:51+00:00

I've never been in a relationship before, I'm 21, this post has a lot of good points, like yes, i seek attention of random men, for example, yesterday i went to a concert, followed all the band members on Instagram, they followed me back, i literally had long chats with two of them, they're leaving the country (there here temporarily), idk, i feel sad for not having enough energy to be in a relationship, i have nothing to provide, I'm still in college, i don't have a real job (i work, but it's barely enough to cover 25% of my college expenses), I'm exhausted, and currently overweight cause I'm not taking enough care of myself 😢, i have a lot to work on

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-12-14T01:06:12+00:00

BEFORE MAKING ANY FURTHER COMMITMENTS, ASK HER TO ADD A PICTURE OF BOTH OF YOU ON ALL HER SOCIAL MEDIA PROFILES

Fancy-Respect8729 · 2022-12-13T18:08:16+00:00

Attention is a currency and addictive - chick-crack

Sharp_Hope6199 · 2022-12-14T01:08:32+00:00

In a lot of fields women tend to go into nowadays, social media following is important. I can’t tell you how many things I have been turned down for because I don’t have one.

It can understandably be threatening when she seems to have so many options available to her at all times. My husband is an actor and relies on this as well. There are a ton of women out there that would love the chance to be with him. For his career, he has to balance this gracefully, and I understand that requiring him to turn that off because I am threatened by his constant available options is ultimately detrimental to us both.

Try to understand, and I hope she does too, that the online personality we portray - especially when it’s career related - is just that. It is not who we are.

My husband and I have an understanding about this, and I would encourage you to have a conversation and understanding with someone you see as a potential long-term partner about this as well.

As an actor, he does intimate scenes with other women. Romantic and implied sexual. For his career, he has to appeal to the large portion of women in his following. He is completely dedicated to me, and that is just part of his work.

I hope you can find a way to work this out.

Individual_Guitar595 · 2022-12-14T06:39:48+00:00

You're generalizing heavily. Not all women have thousands of followers on IG, I know couple of good women who have maybe 20 followers and they spend large amounts of time single as far as I know. There are even, believe it or not, women with none or almost none male friends.

Future_Ad_1930 · 2022-12-14T06:57:44+00:00

Of course she would be upset she spent time accumulating that following. Many men are too when asked to do what she did for you.

At no point in your post do you address the thesis statement. It’s not just single women who have followers accumulated on social media.

Is it possible you have issues with jealousy?

NeonCityNights · 2022-12-13T21:03:33+00:00

It's generally not a good idea to move in with your girlfriend unless you are 100% sure you want to marry her and start a family. This clip is a must for any young unmarried man:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEA6iP0e-U4

slick4hire · 2022-12-14T05:00:01+00:00

Attention is to women is what sex is to men.

If she struggled to delete those follows, be wary. If she ever feels neglected by you, that will likely be where she returns for validation.

Illustrious_End_4827 · 2022-12-14T01:15:11+00:00

They want SIMPs to take care of their needs, to rob and to leave behind in their alpha widowed state

ebony-mori · 2022-12-13T19:01:30+00:00

So, you’re with the girl you mention in the post. Have been for 7 years.

6 months in, she removed all of those creeps off social media for you.

Now, at least 6 1/2 years later, you are posting this online… And say that she’s the one wanting attention and clicks?

Social media and the attention from it is addicting, it’s a drug. Especially if you have low self esteem. Research has been done on it. She broke that spell because she cares for you.

Aren’t you doing the same thing right now?

agenericusername9 · 2022-12-13T21:31:01+00:00

Yeah. Ngl I kinda did this when I was a dumbass teen. But I cut the behaviour when I recognized what it was doing and how it was setting me up for the future. It’s the generation thing it’s the whole “instant gratification” shit. I learned it from other women my age who probably learned it from someone else. I find people like that not worth my while because they’re usually only infatuated with people and end up choosing superficial people who they’ve never met over anyone else only to end up still single and going “where are all the nice guys gone.” I have story after story of women who cut me cause of the immense attention they get online only for months later they come crawling back telling me what a nice guy I am and how any girl would be lucky to have me etc etc usual shit. Don’t get too invested too early dude.

urto12012 · 2022-12-13T21:31:48+00:00

what the hell does this has to do with men's rights? this is a sub about men's issues and rights. people here should stop talking about women. it's why many people don't take mra seriously.

WhereProgressIsMade · 2022-12-14T02:54:27+00:00

I wonder if social media addiction is similar to video game addiction which tends to be an issue more common in men. I finally was able to break free from my video game addiction when I learned that they’re designed to trick your brain into thinking you’re accomplishing something. Your brain then releases a little dopamine which encourages you to keep doing it like a rat pushing a button for food. By going cold turkey while also working on accomplishing things worthwhile like exercise and losing weight, I was able to shift to getting my dopamine hits from that instead. Took some getting used to since it isn’t as strong.

Perhaps whatever chemical hits a woman gets from being in a real relationship have a hard time competing with the hundreds of small hits she gets from followers?

Comments