How long realistically does it take to move on ?

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-01-03T11:24:39+00:00

Invest one year into yourself for self-discovery, renovation and revitalization. Find things that you've always wanted to do, learn and experience and enjoy those things for a year. Develop your skills and knowledge in these things (rock climbing, playing a musical instrument, billiards, etc) and you'll find yourself making more time for them. If you do that well, you’ll have the foundation for a lifetime of happiness.Then what you'll find is that after this investment in yourself, the women that come into your life won't be competing against other women for your attention. They'll be competing against things that really bring you joy and fulfillment. And it will take a truly exceptional woman to accomplish that.

Signs you are not finished with your post-divorce reconstruction:

You fear being alone.

You seek validation from a partner.

You’re still renting headspace to your ex.

When you no longer need to clutch onto a relationship, and you have your best self to offer, that’s how you know you’re ready. Don’t be surprised to find that you don’t have the time to date once you’ve started enjoying your new found freedom.

Certain-Line-6351 · 2023-01-03T10:59:58+00:00

Start banging some new chicks an you’ll feel better. We as men def take break ups worse than females because it’s not as easy for us to find someone new.

Edward189181 · 2023-01-03T11:04:32+00:00

First things first, stop looking at time when it comes to recovery, recovered is a feeling, not something a clock can tell you. Find yourself a lot of new hobbies. Something to keep you motivated, and anything you've ever fancied doing, start them, and keep the ones you enjoy most. Make your spare time as full of the things you love doing, outside of a relationship. Then, and only then start exploring the notion of banging those birds, otherwise you'll fall into the relationship trap again. Your life is and should about you and your son, and what you and he want to do now, put that first, because no woman ever will, and I'm no woman hater at all, just calling it as I see it.

polarshred · 2023-01-03T14:02:21+00:00

If you're watching porn... stop. That helped me tremendously.

bopapocolypse · 2023-01-03T15:02:33+00:00

As others have said, everyone is different. In my case, 18 months is right around when I started to turn the corner. The first year was rough as hell. The next 6 months things started to balance out slightly. After that, I started having more good days than bad. Not to say that everything is perfect, but I have a lot more perspective and I'm better able to set my priorities. Knowing that I can be happy both when I am single and when I am in a relationship has given me some peace of mind.

azwildcat74 · 2023-01-03T15:22:36+00:00

I'm almost a year and a half out from when shit blew up and I feel great. I did jump into a relationship too soon and that fizzled but I did the therapy thing, spent a lot of time alone and in contemplation about what went wrong and why, what role I played in it, what I need to do better as an individual and as a dad to my kids. I sunk a lot of my frustration into DIY projects around my house and having that time to just process stuff, tear it down, rebuild it better - it was all extremely therapeutic and symbolic of the fact that being mindful of things and putting effort into them is worth it.

There's no magic number on when stuff is going to get better, it's different for everyone. Let yourself feel the feelings and spend some time and though on why you're feeling them. Seeing a therapist was one of the best things I've ever done for myself as well, I didn't see you mention that but may be worth a try if you can and aren't.

McWhiffersonMcgee · 2023-01-03T14:48:34+00:00

Its okay to reminisce and remember the person you once loved, that person is gone though, and never coming back. Come to terms with that and you can move on.

jimsmythee · 2023-01-03T14:21:25+00:00

There is no right or wrong answer.

Some people are so desperate for that human touch that they'll jump at anything that moves.

Some people never get into another relationship ever again.

vancityoriginals · 2023-01-03T15:57:36+00:00

I just hit 2 years since I moved out. It’s been peaks and valleys. The first year was the darkest valley. The second year has been some growth but I just went through a really rough patch recently. I felt revitalized this New Years though, I’m still facing some big challenges but i know I can get through. I read this quote, about a boy lost.

“I can't see a way through”, said the boy. “Can you see your next step?" “Yes” “Just take that”, said the horse. - The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

That’s where it’s at some days.

Hang in there. we ride at dawn, men.

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2023-01-03T20:39:28+00:00

Probably about half the time you were together:

I was married for 11, together for 13. Took a number of years. I still have 50/50 custody and a high-engagement career which is where my peace is.

The idea of dating has lost pretty much all of its appeal at this point. I’m not getting married again, I have had my kids, and life is pretty good. I don’t see how someone adds to that.

Title	How long realistically does it take to move on ?
Author	Loftybalddude
Upvotes	22
Comments	16
Date	January 3, 2023 10:15 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1024dn5/how_long_realistically_does_it_take_to_move_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-long-realistically-does-it-take-to-move-on.1147274 https://theredarchive.com/post/1147274

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