Seperated but don't want too GAY

Theedon · 2023-01-22T00:32:10+00:00

Post away. I want to see if two Dudes can be responsible and work out a civil divorce without someone going batshit crazy.

AirSailer · 2023-01-22T00:35:14+00:00

Been on here for years, can't say I've ever seen any men be treated differently because of their orientation. Speak your mind, we'll listen.

chicken_po_boy · 2023-01-22T03:56:13+00:00

In a gay divorce, how does the court know which guy to screw over?

nelvonda · 2023-01-22T00:11:23+00:00

Vent away my man

soontobesolo · 2023-01-22T00:08:11+00:00

Do it. I'd love to listen and will offer support as I am able! Welcome brother!

ProcedureAltruistic3 · 2023-01-22T00:38:11+00:00

All men are welcome in my opinion. Vent away. These guys have let me vent several times and it helps a lot. They are a fair and honest group

Complicatedlogic · 2023-01-22T00:49:56+00:00

You belong here brother, vent on.

dkblue1 · 2023-01-22T05:35:43+00:00

I read your story, and I think you should come back to post if and when you are in the divorce process. This post feels like relationship venting and polyamory troubles, which doesn't really fit the vibe in this sub.

syphon229 · 2023-01-22T04:44:51+00:00

I want to ask you something and I mean zero disrespect... why are you married? I mean I hope you and your now husband can work it out but it also sounds like both of you really aren't a fan of the commitment of matrimony. Why can't you two just be together without a marriage? Again I'm legitimately asking and I'm not trying to belittle you or your marriage so I kean no disrespect.

ContentAmphibian4353 · 2023-01-22T01:22:09+00:00

Appreciate it all.... LONG READ AHEAD

Details to note:

- We're in a polyamory marriage. He has a boyfriend of some sort and I don't *didn't want one at the time* | legally means nothing so it's fine haha

So for the last 10 years I've been a bad partner really. Lied, cheated, didn't listen, stopped working for a short period of time cause I didn't want too, didn't take care of my health, and allowed my family to hurt him physically and mentally. You could name it and it's probably happened in our relationship since month 1. I've always said to people I am a lucky man he is still here because I should have lost him a long time ago but we've been strong together and strong.

So in October 2022 I introduced his "BF" to him as a hookup and hangout and that's what happened. Over a short period of time they started developing feelings and ended up kinda expressing it to each other. I was aware of it all as my husband told me ahead of time and I said to pursue it and I supported it, I had no reason to expect it to affect anything. As things went on and they hung out I thought I saw changes in my husband. He was staying out super late and didnt tell me where he was *we used to let each other roughly or where we were for safety being who we were*, he kinda smoked marijuana sometime *which would put his career and future sadly if caught to a end potentially*, they would sleep in husband car, and all kinds of stuff. I started getting worried a bit upset with the lack of telling me what was going on. I just worried alot and I expressed it or told him and sometimes not in the nicest way. We would get into it, our friends said that it wasnt like my husband and maybe it was just the guy affect him as something new and shiny, so I like I tried my best to ignore it but I couldnt. One night we got into a bit of a verbal fight and I left the house and he was already with his BF. He told me he was having an anxiety attack with the BF over my wording and timing of the argument and I said can the BF bring you home or back to his house and I will come get you. I didnt hear anything and I said, I know where you all are since you told me but I will call his phone and wake him up and ask since you two are together to bring you home or I will just come get you. I dont want something to happen to you both. In the end my husband was saying I was always acting crazy and such and like my family when I was around the BF or when hubby was around the BF alone.

My husband dropped (or what I thought was a drop) of 10 years of baggage on my lap causing me not to know what to do or how to react to it. Just that I had to work on all the baggage and do it NOW. I was upset and hurt but it was my fault, most of it, for not listening all these years.

Mid-December rolls around and I start talking to a guy. This guy I found a genuine human connection I didnt realize I was missing or thought so. We kept talking, husband read the messages and didnt like the type of convos we were having and said to get rid of him. Took me some time to do that as I didnt want too. I broke a rule (which to be honest I kinda forgot) about the way someone and I interacted with each other. Just the way the convo was. So the guy I was talking to eventually I said I couldnt talk anymore but it be cool if in the future we could (SPOILER ALERT: He said yes but in the end he didnt want to talk due to the drama that is my marriage)

Jan 1st 2023 I asked for a speration after asking for a friend advice.... I didnt mean it that way I mean just take time doing our own thing and breathing a bit. NOW we are seperated and my husband as been so verbal and kinda says whatever comes to his mind. He says I hurt him, betrayed him, abused, him and more. He says we are done and over but if I really wanted to try I have to change and MAYBE he will stay but atm no chance.

We are still moving forward with our new apartment the end of this month. But we are pretty much living as separate people with no marriage.

IDK what to do... am I REALLY FUCKED? I still love him and always have

rmorlock · 2023-01-22T03:01:33+00:00

Post away, brother. We are men that support men in rough times.

Old_Ad8951 · 2023-01-21T23:34:20+00:00

Maybe try relationship advice

Title	Seperated but don't want too GAY
Author	ContentAmphibian4353
Upvotes	12
Comments	18
Date	January 21, 2023 11:06 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/10i4fki/seperated_but_dont_want_too_gay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/seperated-but-dont-want-too-gay.1149436 https://theredarchive.com/post/1149436

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