Can we all agree that power games is fucking exhausting?

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-02-10T01:56:40+00:00

Removed for low effort

Bandit174 · 2021-02-09T23:46:42+00:00

Yeah, kinda feels like whoever cares the least wins.

It's not just dating tho. Life in general feels like a constant power struggle/competition. We are constantly being evaluated and compared on looks, intelligence, sexual prowess, wealth prestige, ect. Even if it's not spoken in every interaction it's there behind the scenes. The moment you say or do anything someone disagrees with those traits are the things they use to attack/devalue you on.

IcarusKiki · 2021-02-09T23:51:50+00:00

Power games is just natural selection on a smaller scale unfortunately. Flirting is technically a game, being charismatic and socially successful is a game. Social games are fun to extroverts and those who can play them well and effortlessly to the point where they aren’t even aware it’s a game it’s just natural for them. I personally suck at them but I know why they exist.

-Ivar-TheBoneless · 2021-02-10T00:30:42+00:00

It is. I found the best way to deal with it is to just raise your value. That way you can win at it passively without thinking about it much.

For example I used to study game hard. I used to kill myself over trying to control every little detail. Now after a few years of lifting and finally making good money, I don't even worry about it. I know my value is high enough for most chicks so I can just point any girl towards the door and not care about it because I know there are plenty of girls that would love to replace her.

wiking85 · 2021-02-09T23:42:40+00:00

I don't mind paying for dates

That, sir, is a power game.

Its not fun even when you're successful.

I've been saying this for years, it's about time someone besides me caught on.

BikePersonDotCom · 2021-02-09T23:59:22+00:00

No, I don't agree. They are literally one of the only entertaining things in life. Not everyone wants to live under a rock, or wrapped in a blanket of perpetual comfort.

People pushing you outside your comfort zone is what allows you to grow as a person - and it doesn't always have to be positive interactions.

I think the only people who don't want power games are this generation of nu-males who basically just want to hang out, have boring sex, and get some chick to pay half the rent. It's cringe and tedious as shit.

I say if you don't like the battle, then don't participate - no one cares. But other people will.

2021-02-10T00:33:40+00:00

It's a vicious cycle. If you're in a loop where you always feel like people are holding back with you and drip-feeding, break the cycle by being effusive yourself. Most people cautiously reciprocate with energy that's matched or slightly lower-intensity than what they receive, and when everyone does that, no one is happy.

When you're effusive, sometimes you'll get burned by a user, and sometimes you'll be interacting with a person who's too nervous to reciprocate, but more often people will be so grateful to have someone who's real with them. And they'll respond by being real back with you and feeling they can trust you since you've already opened up to them.

Give people genuine, thoughtful compliments all the time, regardless of whether you want something from them. Tell your platonic friends that you love them. Offer hugs (while respecting the space of people who don't want them and respecting pandemic social distancing until the pandemic is over). Initiate conversations. Tell people how you feel. Be honest. Ask people personal questions about themselves (make sure to say they don't have to answer if they don't want to share, but often people are willing to open up if you show genuine curiosity about their lives). Text people back.

SnowHatesWome · 2021-02-09T23:50:59+00:00

I guess MGTOW had it right all along unfortunately

Cho_Assmilk · 2021-02-09T23:52:12+00:00

Sounds like a pretty boring ide TBH...

IcarusKiki · 2021-02-10T00:02:34+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SaBahRub · 2021-02-10T00:20:06+00:00

It doesn’t have to be. Just let people do what they want while respecting others’ wishes. Done

2021-02-10T00:43:57+00:00

Honestly, I wish the things below could be agreed upon before a relationship:

who texts first
how quickly you respond to a text
who plans dates
who initiates sex
who cooks

These all need to be alternating between the partners/agreed upon. The power games behind this crap is so annoying and time wasting.

2021-02-10T01:05:38+00:00

Thats not fun. Its not fun even when you're successful. We live in a time where we can't afford to love each other without holding back.

But the new way of raising kids was to tell them how special they are. So, anyone who they associate with or date needs to be super super super special! He's not special enough for her! Oh, wait, be he thinks she's not special enough for HIM! Now what?

We live in a world where two people, probably of comparable SMV, both turn their noses up and walk away from someone who might actually make a decent partner because they BOTH think they can do better. They've been taught that they are entitled to whatever they lay eyes on. They can "have it all" - and if at first you don't succeed, just keep swiping, baby!

Women: Rather pet cats than have a man around that doesn't make my life better in every way!

Men: Rather play video games and masturbate than settle for a woman that I don't find HAWT.

I know it's not very Red Pillian of me to suggest men do it do, but men do it to. I don't think we're as OUTRAGEOUS with our expectations as women are these days, but we do it too.

People today seem to think we can live forever and just keep swiping on our Idiot Phones until our wildest dreams show up on our doorsteps THANKS AMAZON!

I predict massive depression and substance abuse problems for these latest "instant gratification throwaway generations" of people. All very smug and smart now.

Let's see how this brave new worldview works in old age.

Thesinglemother · 2021-02-10T01:11:37+00:00

I fully agree. Sometimes if its to egotistical id reslly have to like that guy to just keep being kind. But i get so exhausted by the games. Even with sex. Im a human with needs. Dont get me wrong, i still need man to keep up on working with me. But to not make it hard on each other is a dream

pnromney · 2021-02-10T01:17:45+00:00

Making decisions is very mentally exhausting, and dating is a game with limited answers to many questions.

We create heuristic systems to simplify the decision making process. Paying for a girls date is a heuristic. Dressing nice is a heuristic. Holding the door is a heuristic.

What’s changed is that in modern world, some groups have questioned these heuristics. I remember going to a singles event, and there was a Q&A section with discussion. At least half a dozen women shared differing opinions on whether not it was appropriate for men to hold the doors for women.

We’re in a time of transition. There aren’t simple rules right now, we need to re-discover them. Once we do, dating will be less miserable.

daproest1 · 2021-02-10T00:28:31+00:00

That’s why I think real love, good love, only exists in our late teens and 20s. Everything after that is second best, jaded shiftiness full of doubt

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2021-02-10T00:11:59+00:00

Can we all agree that power games is fucking exhausting?

Or exciting, yes, depends on what phase of the game you're in, no?

The important question just might be: "Are you enjoying it?"

I don't mind

While not "wrong", that's not the attitude/orientation that I see lasting. Perhaps focusing more on your "do"s and much much less on your "don't"s is what could improve your experience?

jazzlikeAstronaut7 · 2021-02-10T01:31:57+00:00

Most secure, healthy ppl don’t do this shit. Mainly narcissists and avoidantly attached ppl

2021-02-10T01:37:30+00:00

Thats not fun. Its not fun even when you're successful. We live in a time where we can't afford to love each other without holding back. It's not even about risking how we deeply we feel because we aren't even capable of letting it develop in the first place.

Mood. Big mood. Everyone’s trying to game one another. It’s not even about winning for so many anymore - it’s about not losing.

IvarIsALie · 2021-02-10T01:50:45+00:00

There is no power games in dating. If you are a normal, functioning human being who's brain is not fried by human interaction - power games do not exist and dating is a whole lotta fun. Stop overcomplicating shit just because you are afraid of women Helen.

2021-02-10T01:54:23+00:00

Yes and that's why I haven't played them since high school. Imo "games" start when you can't accept your partner as they are but you also aren't ready to let them go. Now I just use my words and say what's wrong or leave.

2021-02-10T02:00:07+00:00

Yes. Best you can do is stop playing everyone else's game and start playing your own.

Title	Can we all agree that power games is fucking exhausting?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	33
Comments	79
Date	February 9, 2021 11:37 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/lggn29/can_we_all_agree_that_power_games_is_fucking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/can-we-all-agree-that-power-games-is-fucking.1192467 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192467

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