"When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment."

ithinkoutloudtoo · 2020-03-29T12:39:35+00:00

Its fear of alimony and parental alienation

Lethn · 2020-03-29T13:24:41+00:00

Women call it that, but men don't. I don't think I've ever heard a man say another man is "afraid of commitment "

PlatinumBeetle · 2020-03-29T11:33:14+00:00

That independence is driven by fear of commitment though. Second wave feminism was also called women's liberation. Guess what they wanted to be liberated from? Marriage. ie: committment.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2020-03-29T14:48:18+00:00

It's a way of shaming men in to better serving women.

Aracnida · 2020-03-29T13:57:45+00:00

I always think it is funny that avoiding commitment is not a big problem unless it is specifically around marriage, more specifically around male behavior related to it. Like there are times when people talk about not committing enough to a project or something like that, but really that is not a societal issue. Take the same lack of commitment and apply it to making a woman "happy" and everyone needs to get involved and make sure that the man does what is "right".

2020-03-29T15:55:33+00:00

They may call it a "fear of committment" but I call it being safe

Banake · 2020-03-29T14:03:04+00:00

This one is a great quote.

DeadeyeLan · 2020-03-29T16:40:21+00:00

That is literally what my ex tried to say. Now my current gf is hinting at marriage. I explained to her that I dont believe in marriage bc it's just another institution. It's just bullshit.

MRRamming · 2020-03-29T17:38:23+00:00

I call it fear of betrayal

KICKERMAN360 · 2020-03-29T23:32:40+00:00

My ex-girlfriend was like this. She wanted to maintain her independence whilst being in a relationship. Okay, I get that but a small amount of co-dependence isn't terrible especially if there is a wage disparity which there almost always is (and not always the male earning more). Being able to be independent is a skill everyone should have though, I'm not denying that. Every guy should be able to cook, clean and wash. Just like every woman should be able to change a tyre, mow a lawn etc. Being able to is different than doing.

The kicker was when I happily covered some of her living costs for a while. And then she wanted me to sponsor her for a visa. It took her years after to realise what that looked like from my perspective. Independence from a "modern day" female is their way of telling a guy you're replaceable. You can't truly tell someone you love them when the independence banner is so clearly waving in the background and over every issue that pops up. So why would I sponsor someone for 2 years without feeling like after 2 years I would be pushed aside? I love you... but!

The topic of children came up and her solution if something happened was to take the hypothetical children back to the USA. i was like... dafuq!? Anyway, it didn't work out but she is a warm and positive person. But I always felt needed a shift in perspective. I still wish her the very best but it did affect me for a little bit. And the trait is very common in girls I've been on dates with. It's very, very obvious.

2020-03-29T11:20:58+00:00

problem is when/what the two sexes want to marry. women want to marry after they've hit the wall, are used up, have kid(s), men want to marry any woman except for the aforementioned woman.

thefilthyhermit · 2020-03-29T17:37:29+00:00

Afraid of commitment, huh. That must be why I kept reenlisting all those times.

lostapwbm · 2020-03-29T18:27:28+00:00

The first tool of female subversion against men isn't sex; it is the accusation of cowardice.

And the funny thing is that (some) women expect you to be courageous against everyone EXCEPT them. They expect you to stand up to the entire world, but submit to their whims.

HungryHornyHigh · 2020-03-29T16:59:40+00:00

One time I was at a pool party and this old whale was talking about how only guys with small dicks fuck a lot of girls because they're insecure and big dick men only fuck the same women for the rest of their lives. Me and my cousin just looked at each other and laughed

Million-Suns · 2020-03-29T17:47:10+00:00

"fear of commitment"

Even if that was true, what's wrong with that? Fear leads to survival tactics and thus self preservation. That is a good thing in my book.

Buchwild · 2020-03-30T06:26:00+00:00

Working in a field with hundreds of blue collar men and not one has encouraged me to get married. On the other hand I've heard dozens of horror stories about men getting screwed over in the courts, go figure.

2020-03-30T02:54:15+00:00

Yes because we are supposed to encourage sluts now. (Not a woman who fucks her bf before marriage but a woman who blows seven different dudes every day). But players (don’t get me wrong I like commuted relationships across the board) are supposed to be demonized as evil ‘rapists’ (everything is rape now).

summonblood · 2020-04-06T23:39:48+00:00

You’re damn right I’m afraid of commitment - not interested in my kids having to grow up in a divorced home.

JosephBw · 2020-03-29T17:47:48+00:00

Inhales Deeply Ahhh... Double Standards.

2020-03-29T21:05:10+00:00

I just got ‘banned’ from commenting on the ‘ask a feminist’ sub on reddit. I said I’d leave them all to their echo chamber and it incited a fury of intolerance. Oh the irony. Good luck out there, let’s keep up being good individuals and loving other women, while getting on just find with the men in our lives 🥰

CristiVasile2000 · 2020-03-29T17:13:08+00:00

Time to change the narrative. What can be copied, it must be copied, what can be created from scratch, must be created.

rabel111 · 2020-03-29T21:51:41+00:00

This is consistent with the completely negtive framing of men in relationships. Male autonomy is no compatible with feminist ideology.

xNOM · 2020-03-29T23:58:49+00:00

More like fear of enslavement.

Neveah_Hope_Dreams · 2020-03-30T02:42:47+00:00

Freaking sexist and hypocritical.

DubsPackage · 2020-03-30T02:50:04+00:00

When men hold off from marrying women, I call that "self-preservation."

2020-03-29T13:30:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	"When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment."
Author	DignifiedAlpaca
Upvotes	1781
Comments	86
Date	March 29, 2020 11:17 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/fr4dmc/when_women_hold_off_from_marrying_men_we_call_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/when-women-hold-off-from-marrying-men-we-call-it.1199510 https://theredarchive.com/post/1199510

Comments