I met my wife ten years ago today.

toooldforthisnonsens · 2022-12-16T03:05:53+00:00

You don't want her to come back. You want a version of her, that no longer exists, to return to you.

Brother, get yourself into therapy if you aren't already. Then plot a course to escape her vortex.

Sea-Mission-6316 · 2022-12-16T04:12:04+00:00

Ten years from now you will look back and thank your lucky stars she is no longer in your life. It hurts like heck at first, but the chemicals in your brain will eventually subside. Then you will be able to see what she really was, which is a woman who would abandon her kids and husband to go screw some other man. She is not worth the pain. Most of us have been where you are currently and lived through it. May peace come to you brother.

Feinixaway · 2022-12-16T03:12:57+00:00

Your wife is an idea in your head about someone that doesn't exist.

https://www.trp.red/p/trp/938

You're grieving a loss. Take time and please take care of yourself.

EvidencePlz · 2022-12-16T11:45:17+00:00

She was, is, will, never be yours, it was just your turn.

https://therationalmale.com/2020/10/15/shes-not-yours/

I hope you find another 'communal Fleshlight' (aka women) soon. Wash it properly both inside and outside before use.

2022-12-16T05:08:36+00:00

Just wait…you have so many good years ahead of you with those kids. She spared them the awfulness of being raised in a broken home. I wish my wife had done me this favor. Be a dad, it’s the most awesome thing you can do.

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2022-12-16T08:55:24+00:00

That's why I would not include my wife or ex now in my immediate family because you have your in your family then you don't. She did you a favor and left you with your real family your kids. Let that other guy deal with her now. She ll be a wanderer for the rest of her life now. Enjoy your kids they are at a good age and enjoy your peace and quiet at home.

occoptionplaya · 2022-12-16T13:52:26+00:00

I know this a hard time, but you received a gift. The gift is you now know what kind of woman you were married to and you managed to get out alive. Congrats! Focus on you and become the best version of yourself for your kids. You will come out stronger, and happier. You deserve only the best, that "wife" of yours didn't deserve you. Onward and upward!!!

awesomelybearded · 2022-12-16T12:56:02+00:00

Get paternity tests.

Classic_Dill · 2022-12-16T14:35:13+00:00

OK, look man, you're really in survival mode right now, keep strong, know your responsibilities and carry on, your ex was a beautiful flower completely filled to the pedals with toxin. You dodged a bullet, imagine 26 years and she does this (my story). Please don't hurt yourself, i promise this will pass and she will not be OK with this guy. Now, she has abandoned you and the kids, that's the actual legal definition, she has almost legally given up her rights. Those kids are going to see you as a hero dad! you are there lives and in between you need to start to heal, its tough, but doable. Please don't take her back, she will crash and burn and ask to come home, say no! the kids don't need her influence around them she can visit them,but not at your house. GET A PSYCHIATRIST! one of the best things i did, start looking at her as the trash she is, that fire in your gut will pull you through, obviously DO NOT talk bad about her in front of the kids.

James1933-75 · 2022-12-16T14:43:32+00:00

OP, get to a lawyer now, and tell them exactly what you told us. File for exclusive use of the house, and full custody. File for abandonment. Do this yesterday, or you will regret it.

throwaway128471864 · 2022-12-16T14:46:30+00:00

Consider yourself the Phoenix that needs to rise from the burned down ashes. Create your new life now without someone who could treat you like this.

TaylorAndreson · 2022-12-16T15:41:46+00:00

I still think to myself "this is really happening? Things will go back to normal, & we will be happy family again...."

.....it's coming up on a year. The sooner you face reality the better off you & your kids will be.

drhagbard_celine · 2022-12-16T17:14:53+00:00

You don't want to be married to somebody that doesn't want to be married to you. Focus on the kids. She's giving you custody. Take that as the gift it is because most men are brought low by the unfairness of their custody arrangement.

Physical-Pie748 · 2022-12-16T17:30:09+00:00

"shes not yours, its just your turn", every divorced man

Substantial_Week3298 · 2022-12-16T17:47:38+00:00

Hold up a minute. Are you saying your wife cheated and walked away from you and left the children plus she left your house? You had better wake up and get prepared for when she tries to come back and take those kids from you for child support. Go see a powerful father's rights attorney right now! Prepare yourself because she's probably going to come back after the new guys dumps her sorry ass.

Horror-Percentage-23 · 2022-12-16T06:14:19+00:00

Yeah probably got a uti

henrysmyagent · 2022-12-16T22:48:30+00:00

My friend, gently, you deserve better and your desire for your lying cheating wife to come back is a sign of low self-esteem.

Please get counseling. You need help to see how you deserve the love of an honest and faithful woman.

It will take time to heal and reestablish your sense of self-worth.

You would never advise a friend to take back a backstabbing wife who walks away from her marriage and kids!

Be your own best friend here. Please get help. Your kids need a dad who is clear headed.

Spodee5 · 2022-12-16T23:23:33+00:00

Get a lawyer immediately. Get temporary orders for divorce and a parenting plan immediately in your favor.

You need to legally protect yourself for when she gets legally wise, returns home becomes nasty towards you demands you leave and lies to the court about you being an abuser. Trust me the second she hears how much money she is leaving on the table leaving and leaving the kids with you….she will turn on you as there is zero repercussions to her to do what I am saying. There is zero repercussions for her to come back and lie about you.

You need to protect yourself legally now. It will save you potentially tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees, tens of thousands more in child support…I don’t know about spousal support. You will be more likely to stay in your home with the kids than us she comes back and files a TRO against you. You need to act immediately now to protect yourself.

Down the road this will be so much more beneficial to your children too vs being with a woman who cheats and has an unstable lifestyle.

Lawyer, gym therapist…..immediately

4rdfun · 2022-12-17T01:12:59+00:00

I totally appreciate this sounds trite, but be thankful you have your kids with you. I'm in the fight of my life to have 50/50 custody with my two sons, leaving me no time to mourn the loss of the future I was building with my wife. Take care of yourself. I started SSRI's and seems to helping me get back to the gym and weather the storm of a nasty divorce. For a while when I didn't have the kids I barely had the motivation for proper hygiene. Good luck my man, this forum has proven so valuable for me.

Title	I met my wife ten years ago today.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	55
Comments	39
Date	December 16, 2022 2:48 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/zn436y/i_met_my_wife_ten_years_ago_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-met-my-wife-ten-years-ago-today.1208096 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208096

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