Since weight is a changeable characteristic it shouldn't be viewed as unattractive

M_Ptwopointoh · 2023-05-13T08:23:29+00:00

Since bad hygeine is a changeable characteristic it shouldn't be viewed as unattractive.

Since unemployment is a changeable characteristic it shouldn't be viewed as unattractive.

Since homelessness is a changeable characteristic it shouldn't be viewed as unattractive.

Since illiteracy is a changeable trait...

ItIsnt0verYet · 2023-05-13T08:28:09+00:00

I dont think you can argue away someones attraction or lack of attraction. You can ask them to think about why they feel that way but you can't logic your way into that kind of change.

You also mentioned making lifestyle changes to help your partner lose weight. I think that is a fantastic idea, everyone should be moving more than they do and setting up good habits is paramount but no one should go into a relationship expecting to change their partner. If you date someone expecting that you can change them or they will change for you, youre going to get burned. No one can be changed without wanting it, they will eventually fall back to whatever they liked doing before because the change wasn't their own.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-05-13T08:24:04+00:00

Weight loss is difficult for a lot of people and you have no way of knowing if she will ever do that. Even if she does, regaining weight after loss is pretty common.

But yeah, I can see your point if they're only 20 lbs overweight. That's not extremely difficult to lose. However, anyone over 250 lbs might end up with loose skin if they're willing to commit like a whole year to going on a caloric deficit and going to the gym. So I wouldn't be willing to bet on anyone who was obese-- to avoid loose skin they have to commit to several years of a smaller deficit to finally reach a healthy BMI. Not really for me tbh

Werlinn_ · 2023-05-13T09:22:48+00:00

Hoping that someone changes their lifestyle after you get in a relationship with them is not a sensible move

TurtleDickSlap · 2023-05-13T08:26:32+00:00

That's absolutely the opposite of how that works.

Weight is controllable and if someone chooses to let it get out of control, then it is not only aesthetically unattractive, it demonstrates an ugliness of mindset in the casual disrespect that they treat their own bodies with.

I'm unable to associate obesity with any positive personality trait.

Edit: No, I'm not done.

If you see a girl with a pretty face that is fat why not go for her anyway as weight is changeable.

Because there are pretty girls who aren't fat. Why should I waste my time and energy on a fixer-upper when I can get one that doesn't need all that motivation to maintain a healthy weight? That's just an additional stress on me.

Weight loss is based on lifestyle so why not positively impact her lifestyle so she loses weight?

If she wanted to change her life, she would have. I'm fond of saying "people have the body they deserve" - she earned her obesity with her lifestyle and that comes with consequences.

Small changes make a big difference like going for walks or getting sushi instead of McDonalds.

And why is it my job to keep her from stuffing her face? Can I even keep her from doing it without being "cOnTrOlLinG".

Some women hate the gym but love a long walk on the beach. So there's always good healthy options.

Great, when she does that, then let me know. Again, how are her exercise habits my responsibility? As we say in the army "PT is an individual event."

Plus a new relationship can give you the dopamine hit you need instead of using food to feel good.

So at best when the honeymoon phase is over she'll go back to eating for fun. Yeah, I'm gonna pass.

And positive reinforcement and encouraging love for her body will make her appreciate it more and fuel it in healthier ways.

I can speak from experience that this is horseshit.

Men: If you get with a woman and shes fat, she will remain fat. She has no incentive to do the hard work of diet and exercise - she's already got you. Do not date fat women. You ever notice that women find the gym after they break up? It's because they know that they need to be hot and fit to get a better quality man than the one they left.

Zabadoodude · 2023-05-13T08:32:54+00:00

Getting into a relationship with someone on the unspoken condition that they will make a drastic life change is a recipe for disaster.

Losing weight is hard. Going on a few walks wont cut it. She will have to completely change her diet and accept that she won't be able to eat her favorite foods and will be constantly hungry for months. If she wanted to lose weight, she already would have. Pressuring her into it will only build hurt and resentment.

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Outside_Ad8196 · 2023-05-13T08:25:49+00:00

The issue is, you can change her lifestyle but she can affect yours too.

Most people will say skill issue but having experienced something like that, it’s really hard to stick to a good diet when your partner is bringing in the takeaways and always want to go to restaurants.

I’ve dated a girl like that ( average weight tho, not sure how the hell to this day ) and even with watching my intake, still gained some weight.

So personally no I’m not attracted to fat women usually, but it’s only a dealbreaker because of the lifestyle attached.

Would I be more open to consider a fat woman who’s actively already in a serious weightloss journey ? Sure, maybe. Otherwise absolute dealbreaker.

flakybottom · 2023-05-13T08:37:28+00:00

Those girls can do some of that SELF improvement that guys are constantly told to do on here and lose the weight on their own. Or they can date a guy who is into fat chicks, theres tons of them.

LaloTwins · 2023-05-13T09:01:01+00:00

Since brokeness is a changeable characteristic it shouldn't be viewed as unattractive really ever

ashpr0ulx · 2023-05-13T09:18:41+00:00

it’s really not that easy. i dated a man who was heavy, and gained way more weight in our relationship. i tried cooking healthy dinner for us- he only wanted fast food and junk food. i asked him to go on walks with me- it made him angry. it wasn’t compatible with his lifestyle, he didn’t want to change, so he never did. we’ve been broken up for years and last i checked he’s still real big.

in general, dating someone to change them rarely ends the way you want.

towerofcheeeeza · 2023-05-13T09:34:36+00:00

I'm a woman but I feel like it's strange to go into a relationship expecting the other person to change for you. Whether it's their weight, their hairstyle, their hobbies, etc. I wouldn't pursue someone with the expectation that they might change for me. I wouldn't want someone to ask me out with the hope that I eventually lose weight with their encouragement, so I wouldn't want to be on the opposite end of that either. And weight loss is HARD. As someone who has struggled with it a lot throughout my life I know for a fact it isn't easily changed. There are a lot of mental hurdles as well as physical ones. There's no guarantee you can help the other party lose weight even with encouragement and support, so instead you might just end up causing them more stress and negative emotions.

Gr4nd45 · 2023-05-13T09:39:13+00:00

Exactly BECAUSE weight is a "changeable characteristic", I expect them to keep it within healthy boundaries.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-05-13T09:50:41+00:00

We're attracted to people for who they are, not who they could be. Fat people could become more attractive to those who find them more attractive, but they're not there yet and possibly ever.

red__hulk · 2023-05-13T10:10:16+00:00

Because its not only unattractive but also a sign of a person who has really bad impulse control and/or discipline issues.

Zestyclose_Truth9999 · 2023-05-13T11:22:25+00:00

Since weight is a changeable characteristic it shouldn't be viewed as unattractive

Nope.

I'm simply not attracted to overweight people — the fact that weight is "a changeable characteristic" doesn't sway my opinion at all. They're just not attractive to me.

so why not positively impact her lifestyle so she loses weight?

Why am I (or anyone else) expected to change someone else's lifestyle?

It'd be an entirely different story if my partner or friend ended up putting on weight and needed help losing it, as we'd already be in a relationship/be friends. It's selfish and delusional AF to expect someone you've just met to shoulder that burden.

Obese people love food and that is a positive personality trait.

That's a beyond delusional take.

I LOVE food, but I know the best way to offset my calorie intake is to get some exercise (my Fitbit is currently my BFF at reminding me to hit my helpful daily goals). Even moderate exercise can make a difference — so yes, OP, you can love food and not be 700lbs.

Title	Since weight is a changeable characteristic it shouldn't be viewed as unattractive
Author	Glowupgirl111
Upvotes	0
Comments	53
Date	May 13, 2023 8:13 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13gbfdf/since_weight_is_a_changeable_characteristic_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/since-weight-is-a-changeable-characteristic-it.1219146 https://theredarchive.com/post/1219146

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