Putting dating on the back burner to focus on other things has never worked - I did that for several years and in that span of time I had a total of one date, and it wasn’t even a good one.

When I made it a priority I had about 20 dates in a year - I was using apps regularly, approaching in person, doing volunteering and activities mainly just to meet women - now this was exhausting and frustrating in its own right because ultimately none worked out but you see the point, my chances of meeting someone long term were incredibly higher.

Balance is vital in life but if you have carved out an otherwise decent life for yourself and have no glaring areas of neglect than I don’t see why you shouldn’t be able to make dating your primary focus.

When most people criticise this I don’t think they’re doing it from a constructive place by warning against the pitfalls of investing so much energy into such a fickle thing that often doesn’t yield dividends, but as if to say that focusing on dating is low value behaviour.

And desperation is obviously a turnoff, but you do find yourself getting a bit desperate when friends are getting married and doors are closing all around you.

You can be happy with your life but recognise that you would be happier with someone great to make memories with

I fail to see why making dating your main priority in life and orienting a lot of your decisions around it is such a pathetic mentality to so many people.

But where do you draw the line?