My best friend suddenly hates men and it's getting annoying

youllknowwhenitstime · 2023-09-13T03:31:59+00:00

Make it awkward.

Tell her you don't want to hear her bashing half the population for no reason, and then when she does, frown, say nothing for a moment, then change the subject. If she keeps doing it, awkwardly make an excuse to end the text conversation or quit what y'all are doing early. She'll get the hint. And definitely don't invite her anywhere there might be guys you want to talk to.

Right now in this relationship she's the leader and you're the follower - you're the one looking to avoid confrontation and "just get along," while she's the one willing to be confrontational and set the mood against your will, to the point of policing your interactions! She may be unwilling to follow you when you start asserting a pull on the mood of your relationship, or she may realize she doesn't want to lose you as a friend and accept the pushback. But you have to be consistent. This is good practice for sticking up for the life you care about in other areas and in the future.

Do you tend to be the follower in all your friendships or just this one? I've feel like I've experienced both dynamics.

MrNifty · 2023-09-13T04:32:14+00:00

How would you feel if you were in a relationship with a man who had a close friend that shared the same sentiment towards women?

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-09-13T04:37:30+00:00

Sometimes friendships diverge, yes even the ones that are like family. The operative word is "like." If you don't share blood or family members, it's your worldviews and interests that hold a relationship together. It's possible that you two are just going in different directions. Friendship breakups, especially when they're so close, can be really hard, because no one ever talks about them. You should seriously consider the possibility that you're just not the same people you were.

In the meantime, I'm sure you don't want to just abandon the friendship, so just hold the line. Be insistent. "I'm not doing this." "I'm not discussing this." "Yes. I saw your post. I disagree and don't want you to send me things like that." "I'm not overreacting. Stop." She'll either get that you're the wrong audience and quit... or she won't and you guys will talk less and less.

For what it's worth, I've dealt with similar issues. The friendships ran their course and came to a close. I'm glad they did these days, because those women wouldn't have made me a better wife or mother. You are the company you keep, eventually, regardless of age. If she can't get past this, you may not want to keep her company.

flower_power_g1rl · 2023-09-13T08:36:00+00:00

I used to be her. It was a coping mechanism for sexual trauma. Maybe that's what happened to her? You can distance yourself from her, but it's pointless to try to make her change what she says. You an point out that you don't agree, but it won't change her views. Or you can try to understand where she's coming from and start from there. If you're able to, you can gently help her to feel more safe. Especially if she has been through sexual trauma.

throwawayisathing · 2023-09-13T09:04:09+00:00

The same issue recently arose with one of my guy friends. He says "Ugh. Women." when he has to interact with his girlfriend and makes misogynistic jokes towards me. I'm not sure how to handle it gracefully. I was thinking maybe telling him how it makes me feel (bad for his girlfriend, uncomfortable) and maybe spinning it to something positive by telling him what would feel good to me. But I'm not sure the approach is the same for men and women.

Unfortunately I don't have any advice for you, I'm hoping someone might give me some advice as well.

Huntens · 2023-09-13T15:33:10+00:00

Feminism is the externalization of your issues. So if she’s unhappy with her life’s choices …at least the outcome of them … she becomes miserable and externalizes that misery.

She will blame everything on the outside, and as she becomes increasingly more miserable, so will the externalization increase.

TheBunk_TB · 2023-09-13T12:24:16+00:00

Tell her you have men in your life and are happy

plein_old · 2023-09-13T15:43:10+00:00

Hating people based on their race or gender or their beliefs has become very fashionable these days on college campuses.

Here's the thing: whoever you are around in your free time has the potential to rub off on you.

Your "friend" is already tearing you down now in addition to tearing men down. She accused you of being too "dramatic" and she's making you question and second-guess yourself. If you still want to be friends, it might have to be based on letting her dominate you, so that you are fully converted to seeing life the way she sees it.

Jewelry_lover · 2023-09-13T04:11:08+00:00

I’m kind of in the same boat. My best friend has a serious resentment towards men and I somewhat feel for her because we have both been through a lot by men (both by family and relationships).

She’ll never admits she hates men but you can tell by the comments she makes and reactions to situations and I feel this is affecting other areas in her life indirectly.

I’m still figuring out how to navigate some situations where she spews negativity. She’s a very good friends and I don’t want to lose our friendship 😔

PayAdventurous · 2023-12-20T11:34:50+00:00

Me: bro, what are you? A jealous girlfriend? I'm into men romantically/sexually and I desire their contact, chill out

These people annoy me. I could understand distrust in trauma but hating a whole group over an individual??? I was groomed by my father and there are good dudes, my family dog almost mauled me and I love my own sweet pup. They need therapy

VasiliyZaitzev · 2023-09-13T17:09:30+00:00

Am I being overdramatic or am I somewhat justified for feeling annoyed?

You are not being overdramatic; she is toxic, and toxic people always wants you to be toxic, too.

She sounds like a hateful little troll, and she needs to stop or you should start minimizing her role in your life. If you try to engage too much you will probably start hearing about "muh INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY!" or some crapola.

N.B. If you let her hang around, she will poison your relationships with men. I did a {NSFW} piece on this on the Men's Forum a couple of years back called Goldilocks And The Three C-nty Friends

2025-04-20T01:03:33+00:00

she has witnessed or seen something/ several things that are making her feel this way. Try to understand her perspective first and foremost

AutoModerator · 2023-09-13T03:20:04+00:00

Title: My best friend suddenly hates men and it's getting annoying

Full text: Note: Idk if this really belongs here. If not, I will take it down.

My best friend (23F) and I (also 23F) have known each other since we were 5. We are much more like sisters than friends. We have also had our disagreements and differing beliefs, but it hasn't been a problem since we don't shove them down each other's throats.She graduated college last spring and, ever since, I have noticed this strange turn in her behavior towards men. I thought it was nothing, until several months ago when she straight up said "I hate men. All men are trash." For context, she has never had a serious or casual relationship with a man and has many great men in her life, including her brother and dad. I brushed it off and figured this was just her new outlook and opinion, no harm no foul. Since she first told me this, however, she has been finding ways to tear any and all men down when we're together. She jokes about it and, when I tell her that I'm uncomfortable with it, she just tells me that she's "making sure I'm aware." I also have a lot of good men in my life, including my brother and dad as well. I have asked her to keep her man-bashing comments to a minimum, but she thinks I'm just being dramatic. She has even actively deterred guys from talking to me when we go out and says it's "to keep me safe." Well, today we were chatting in a group chat with another friend when she randomly sent a link to a post about, well obviously, man hating. Idk why, but this was just the final straw for me. I never responded to the text, but she then texted me individually asking if I saw the post and said "it's her new life motto and should be mine too." Idk what to say to her at this point and I really would hate for things to get complicated over this of all reasons. Am I being overdramatic or am I somewhat justified for feeling annoyed? Is there something I should do to avoid a confrontation? I'm just really tired of this.

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Nerdslayer2 · 2023-09-13T14:50:51+00:00

I would ask her why she feels this way about men. Did she recently get deep into radical feminism? Was she rejected by a man or multiple men, perhaps in mean ways? Is it possible she could have been sexually assaulted? People don't just suddenly develop extreme views for no reason (unless they have a serious mental illness).

2023-09-13T23:56:25+00:00

it's the culture. suddenly up is down and left is right. A lot of the "feelings" that people have aren't real, it's just social contagion. extremely disturbing and bizarre.

2023-09-13T23:56:30+00:00

it's the culture. suddenly up is down and left is right. A lot of the "feelings" that people have aren't real, it's just social contagion. extremely disturbing and bizarre.

CupPreious1583 · 2023-09-14T10:35:12+00:00

It could originate from Romantic frustration. I mean we used to have 1-2 kids by that age. If you’re single, don’t have a guy, don’t have a kid, don’t have romance...I think people underestimate how fucking frustrating and painful that is.

A side of effect of that miserable state might be broadcasting hatred against dick-holders. And good SOLELY platonic relationships with men don't fix the issue. My impression is actually that they make it worse because non of them is giving you properly the things they were actually created for.

irishgreen46 · 2023-09-30T08:50:58+00:00

You stated she does not date , is she bitter about that. Is she unattractive outside as well as inside ... ?

Far-Alps9067 · 2023-10-14T20:28:18+00:00

The only person who creates cockblocking for you is you. She can be party to that but at your bidding, not hers.

FishandThings · 2023-10-28T20:40:44+00:00

Any updates on how it is going with your friend?

Title	My best friend suddenly hates men and it's getting annoying
Author	lady_marm
Upvotes	73
Comments	49
Date	September 13, 2023 3:20 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/16hbxlh/my_best_friend_suddenly_hates_men_and_its_getting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-best-friend-suddenly-hates-men-and-its-getting.1231647 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231647

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