Low body count allegedly boosts a woman’s value and character - it magically makes her more selective and better at discernment. Let’s test it with these two eligible bachelorettes.

Daphne (32) is childfree, always disease free, never uses. A lawyer who was named Ms. USA in 2016, she keeps fit training for triathlons and snowboarding. She chairs a board for a veteran’s shelter in honor of her late father. Daphne has a 7 year old Great Dane. Total BC: 11.

Mary (29) has sons ages 2 and 4 (both unplanned). She became a CNA after a stint in rehab for fentanyl abuse. She later met her youngest son’s dad but broke up when he gave her a serious incurable STD. It’s been a year now, and Mary has started dating again. Total BC: 3.

So you ended up with Mary, right?

When I’ve asked body count proponents to choose, they’re stumped. They hate this scenario. According to their logic, LBC means more value. So Mary, right?! Nope, they make excuses not to choose Mary and move the goal posts … repeatedly. Daphne is a curve ball they hadn't and don't like to consider, especially because she's not presented disparagingly.

Quick level set: BC is when random strangers muster up clearance rack audacity to assign filthy behaviors and characteristics to women based on their number of sex partners. Doesn’t matter what the actual details and truths are - BC knows all! There is no shortage of terrible things they’ll claim. The goal is to ensure, without a doubt, the HBC holder knows she’s not their preference. They have to be the ones to tell her she’s undesirable by them, the men she’d want, and many she wouldn’t want. She doesn’t get to have standards. Body count proponents are just trying to protect themselves. They have a right to have a preference.

That’s the game. Now, here’s why it's a rigged game that works for no one:

It’s a double standard: Self explanatory - rarely does this ever apply to men.

It’s not objective: There is no clear standard. One guy says 5 is too many, the next says 26 is too many.

It’s the origin story of Pickmennifers: Pick-mes are women desperate to earn the favor of certain types of men often at her own expense. So they buy and apply this sort of self-defeating / self-loathing logic. She operates with men out of desperation, fear of rejection, and seeking approval. Her reward, they pick her!

It’s contradictory: Many are playing both sides of the fence with this. Engaging in hook-up culture where they demand sex, deny relationships and engage in deceptive dating practices. Then later, bashing women for body counts she gained as a result of a culture those same men support and make possible. (We like chaste women. We also like hook ups! Oh, and make both happen.)

It’s a shitty fear of loss tactic: FOL, sleazy car salesmen mojo, is used to make you think you’re missing out on something because they can’t figure out how to get you to want what they’re selling. If they can get you to deem what they have valuable and think you’ve lost something by not picking up what they’re putting down, they win. Don’t buy it. It’s definitely an exploding lemon.

It’s not foolproof: When presented with the above scenario and their very basic logic, the answer is pretty clear: Mary earns the prize - a whole high value man! There's more! Mary gets sticker saying she's better than Daphne. The truth? Mary didn’t win, which makes all of this illogical. Mary didn't lose either. Mary is just on her journey in life. There are plenty of LBC Mary’s out there.

Its stigma applies to LBC holders: As demonstrated with LBC Mary, she was someone who was promiscuous - unplanned pregnancies, children out of wedlock, incurable disease, transient sex partners. Her first relationship wasn’t long before she was knocked up again. I’d definitely call her discernment into question. She only has three sex partners. Where are her accolades??

It's dependent on a misrepresentation of the word promiscuous: Many people throw around ‘promiscuous’ -- to have multiple transient sex partners. It is further defined as lacking discernment, being unselective, and casual. | Promiscuity does not define a woman who has had multiple sex partners by virtue of committed, exclusive relationships where she was in fact courted, selective and used discernment. It fails to take into account her relationship goals which may or may not be marriage at any given point. BC peeps refuse to acknowledge the distinction, often arguing that a failure to mostly abstain from sex until married makes one promiscuous. Quite technically, that is not the definition of promiscuous. A woman can have multiple sex partners and be sexually selective, responsible and reserved.

It’s used to justify the shaming and mistreatment of others: The moral high ground BC peeps construct for themselves to look down on others is built on hot air. Here’s the thing: you can prefer a "near" chaste woman without bashing others. In fact, if you truly valued chaste women, why not tell us all the ways you find them superior. I can find far more content with the negativity.

It gives nobodies a false sense of power: Adhering to this way is like showing fear to a monster. At the end of the day, these people hold zero power and are virtually silenced the minute you start living for yourself, your way. Find and choose happiness and true love with the men and women who know better.

Body count and everything that comes with it is modern-day slut shaming.

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Did you choose Mary or Daphne? Why did low body count fail to deliver for Mary? What word would you use to describe the middle ground of a virgin and a promiscuous person (sexually experienced, but responsible, selective and reserved)?