People with high standards don't want people but things

Cool_Relative7359 · 2023-11-06T14:12:41+00:00

In my mind there's 4 kinds of people who have high standards:

1) Legitimate catches who are within their rights to have high standards.

2) People who are deluded as to their own value.

3) People who are obsessed with status and see partners as a reflection of achieving status (what you describe essentially)

4) People who just want an excuse for their failures.

Gravel_Roads · 2023-11-06T14:16:58+00:00

You're making a huge assumption that "high standards" is the same thing as "will abandon someone for something better". That's not what having high standards is - it just means you know what you want, and don't want to accept things you don't want. If someone with high standards gave someone who didn't live up to their standards a chance, it would just result in disappointment and bitterness. Because it's not what they want.

What these people overlook? People are not things. Things don't have feelings and so they don't change. People change.

You aren't being dehumanized or treated like you don't have feelings just because someone doesn't want to have sex with you. Or else you're dehumanizing all your friends, lol.

If you promise to lock down someone in a marriage, you should adjust and learn to compromise too.

Wait, wait wait... These people didn't WANT to lock anyone down. YOU'RE the one saying people with high standards should LOWER their standards and give more people a chance... NOW those same people, after lowering their standards, are supposed to work hard, compromise and "learn"?

So... what ARE they allowed to have likes and dislikes about, then?

Demasii · 2023-11-06T14:58:47+00:00

I disagree with your analogy.

That pair of shoes that one settles for become a intergrated to their life. It molded to their feet. They bought a jacket that matched with those shoes. They got compliants by other people when wearing those shoes.

People have high standards when they are single because everything they want in a partner is based on theory in the moment.

leosandlattes · 2023-11-06T15:09:19+00:00

Prince Charming and whatever the female equivalent of that is don’t actually exist. But you can get pretty damn close, and having high standards doesn’t mean you’ll toss out your partner for anything that better that comes along.

Also this is highly dependent on what you’re defining as high standards. Some of them are attainable but on the high end, and some of them just aren’t realistic.

wtknight · 2023-11-06T15:33:06+00:00

They want people. The thing is that they don't need people enough to want to compromise on their standards. People who truly have a need for something will generally be willing to compromise somewhat in order to fulfill that need, because the desire to fulfill that need is so desperate for them. It's not the same for those who don't have as strong of a need. This is why, in general, women are choosier than men - as they do not "need" men as much as men need women (at least not anymore).

Amiskon2 · 2023-11-06T15:52:44+00:00

Things are more predictable, acquirable and reliable than people ever will be.

But that is why sometimes people want people... to add some randomness, yet yes, objects are better if you want consistency and reliablility.

harmonica2 · 2023-11-06T14:10:50+00:00

This seems to track perhaps because a lot of the successful couples I know that have lasted lots of years do not have high standards.

2023-11-06T23:21:56+00:00

It depends on what you think "high standards" means:

* I chose a loving woman, who is not a feminist, does not smoke, is a companion, likes sex and was a virgin. For me she is of a high standard, because most women are superficial and not worth it

* For me, a feminist is of very low standard, even if she is identical to Scarlet Johanson.

Of course we are talking about serious relationships and not sex.

IntrepidInformation1 · 2024-01-13T07:53:16+00:00

That’s an interesting way to look at it despite lacking depth in understanding of human behavior, deep thinking or even critical thinking really and makes alotta sense if you don’t know anything and don’t think about it for more than 2 seconds

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thisreallyisnotok · 2023-11-07T04:36:39+00:00

Very often this is true. But there are people with lower standards where this is true too.

I think antisocial tendencies among the general population has been rising. One of the consequences is that people see relationships as a form of consumption and not a partnership.

thedarkracer · 2023-11-07T17:40:01+00:00

Wake me up before you go go

Title	People with high standards don't want people but things
Author	thedarkracer
Upvotes	14
Comments	83
Date	November 6, 2023 1:56 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17p39rs/people_with_high_standards_dont_want_people_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/people-with-high-standards-dont-want-people-but.1237456 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237456

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