Spouse says she wants to buy me out of our house

Gattsama · 2023-11-22T23:29:22+00:00

It really is up to you. Let's assume the home and mortgage are communal property. So you each own 50% of the debt and 50% of the equity. If you took out a home refinance loan or any other loans, those are also 50/50.

Add it all up and divide by 2. She owes you that. Technically speaking, you get more money if she buys you out as no listing fees, percentage going to realtor, etc.

However, the question is who's name/s are on the title and loan. You can change the title by going to the county clerks office, fill out some forms, and pay a fee. You can not change the name on the mortgage without a new loan.

She would have to either refinance (and get a new horrible interest rate), which is a new loan plus closing fees (can be rolled into loan). This is a new mortgage, so 30y vs. 15y vs. 5/1.

Or get an assumption loan, which is a new loan. You have to qualify and pay closing costs (can not be rolled into loan). But get to keep the current interest rate and time paid.

If you don't want the house, no big deal walking away. But you must get your name off the mortgage.

If she doesn't have the cash to buy you out, you can also use that as a credit against other parts of the divorce: spousal support, keeping your retirement accounts, stocks, etc.

Objective-Fan-5464 · 2023-11-23T02:24:31+00:00

Just made a similar comment on another post. She will need to refinance to "buy out" your share or use other assets to offset her equity in the home.

First off, can she afford the refinance? If you got that sweet 2.5% rate in 2021 then she is out of luck. Rates are close to 7% now and the refinanced mortgage payments will go up accordingly.

Secondly, get language in your divorce decree in case she can't refinance meaning she has 3 months to refinance, you will not do a quit-claim until that is done, and if she can't refinance in that timeframe, you get to sell the house and split the proceeds. Link to specific language

Reflog1791 · 2023-11-23T01:25:00+00:00

If she buys you out for the right price it’s a deal!

I flipped my equity payout into a nicer fatter house. Market conditions were good at the time.

If she tries to lowball you, your only backstop is that you got two appraisals, they came in at x. No you will not take y to walk, you’ll take it to the judge instead.

Then strike a deal. If she REALLY wants to keep the house, get every cent of equity you’re due AND pad your other negotiations, like retirement.

So sure she can keep the house if it’s a good deal for you. Otherwise let the judge force the sale or see if the judge will lowball you like your ex.

NO SWEETHEART DEALS on the home equity. No to deals for equity in exchange for low child support (modifiable). Yes to deals on no alimony (non-modifiable).

Get your $$, keep your retirement, and don’t fall on your sword by whatever means necessary. Quit talking to your ex so the judge has no reason to fuck you over. All her claims are defended by, I haven’t spoken to her about anything other than child schedules in the last 6 months.

PSwayz_On_A_Horse · 2023-11-23T18:21:30+00:00

100K principle. 250k equity. My wife said she's going to buy me out.Yeah, I'll take the 125k in cash. No brainer. You're overthinking.

***Edit***It pisses me off that I'm going to have to purchase a home with the current shitty rates (I have an 822 credit score) ... on the flipside, I'm 99% sure that my wife has zero fucking idea that she will have to re-fi on our current 2.75 rate up to ... 7.7% to get my name off the title. It's petty (which I hate) ... but still makes me smile on the inside a little.

***Edit x2***

Of course, my child support will be paying that ... so, no skin off her sack.

adventure_junkie67 · 2023-11-23T02:46:07+00:00

Thx. I agree with the comments. A piece of my question is that I'm not sure she actually changed her mind. I'm wondering if it is a strategy of saying she's staying in the house and then changing that decision at the last minute. I cannot see any benefit to doing that. It is a large, high-maintenance home and it is impractacle for her to stay.

Somadis · 2023-11-23T08:46:05+00:00

She thinks that you'll sell your half of the house to her for pennies. She'll most likely back out if you ask for fair market value.

PurpleVeg742 · 2023-11-23T11:52:28+00:00

If you have children, it could potentially affect custody agreements as courts like to keep the children's lives as stable as possible, so she would be more likely to be granted primary custody. Just more food for thought.

Substantial_Bar_8476 · 2023-11-23T05:16:59+00:00

She basically had to buy out of what half the house is. So if the house is 500k she would have to refinance for 250k plus what’s left of the mortgage and pay you 250 k

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2023-11-23T08:47:10+00:00

How is she going to pay you your equity position in the house?

SkeptiCynical · 2023-11-24T01:50:45+00:00

With interest rates where they are today LOL. I'd say LET HER BUY YOU OUT. She has to get a new mortgage in her own name at today's rates. It will have no bearing on the requirement for her to give you 50% of the equity in the house.

Rent for a few years, save up cash and buy a house on the other side of this market.

What she's doing sounds strategic alright. Strategically shooting herself in the foot.

Icy-Monitor-421 · 2023-11-24T17:54:09+00:00

Absolutely do NOT allow this unless she takes you off the mortgage PRIOR to finalizing the divorce. She can feign an inability to refinance, or have an actual inability to refinance. The debt will stay on your credit report and affect your DTI ratios hamstringing your future ability to own a home or buy on credit. Then, your only recourse will be to spend MORE money taking her back to court for the same judge who hates men to tell you “that’s life” or “sorry we’ll give her another year”.

Or, if she really wants to F you over, she’ll have the house, be supposedly responsible for the mortgage, then purposefully go delinquent just 30-90dpd to wreck your credit (even though it wrecks hers). Ask me how I’ve seen that!

Do not agree to these terms unless you’re off the mortgage prior to the finalized divorce.

/banker

Title	Spouse says she wants to buy me out of our house
Author	adventure_junkie67
Upvotes	8
Comments	20
Date	November 22, 2023 11:08 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/181mmhk/spouse_says_she_wants_to_buy_me_out_of_our_house/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/spouse-says-she-wants-to-buy-me-out-of-our-house.1239130 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239130

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