Is anybody here a survivor of Schrödinger’s Patriarchy

A Schrödinger’s patriarch is a BROKE house tyrant. A man that wants the benefits of patriarchy but won’t fulfill the roles of a patriarch. I was raised by one.

This man believes that women should take care of household tasks because of social conditioning. But then becomes a feminist every time the society expects men to be providers. How convenient.

Imagine being a wife of a Schrödinger’s patriarch. Your man lives off of you. You go to work for 8 hours and then cook dinner when you come home. Sometimes you cook lunch before you go to work because your “house” husband refuses to cook, and he will order take out if there’s no food. You come home and your house is a mess. You complain to your husband that your back hurts, your chest hurts, you feel out of shape, and so on. Your husband’s reply? “Aww poor you”. No yoga or pilates class because you don’t have time. Oh but you are still expected to look pretty, of course.

I am a first daughter of a Schrödinger’s patriarch and his enabler. They made me a substitute wife every time my mom is at work. I don’t have a 9-5 job but I do have a job that’s almost as time consuming. They expect me to cook and clean because I’m a woman. But I also had to provide for 70% of my needs since I was in high school. Sometimes my dad do the laundry and then will compare his labor to mine (his daughter, if you are that high and mighty try comparing with your wife maybe?). My mom who’s always tired from work and is unable to rest in her femininity also keeps me on the edge because she’s easily upset. I am a punching bag. It was worse several years ago when my dad lost his job (actual abuse). Oh and once he blamed me for not helping around enough, which is making my mom tired and not want to have sex with him.

I don’t know if what I went through is a unique experience of Schrödinger’s patriarchy, but it’s definitely linked. Especially in my situation, it’s definitely Schrödinger’s patriarchy.

Honestly I blame feminism for making men so comfortable saying that domestic work is just regular human responsibilities instead of a labor they need to pay for. Now a man can preach “house work is just adult responsibilities, both men & women can do it” while the wife does most of the house work. All talk no action. But this isn’t even the root cause. Feminism just made men more shameless in taking advantage of strong independent women they don’t really like.

I believe that a man that is grateful to have his dream girl wont put himself in a position where he can lose her. A man that truly loves his woman will provide for her despite being conditioned that 50:50 is okay. And to be honest, a man who loves his woman will also enjoy doing house chores because he would want to be around his wife. He would understand that work is 8 hours 5 days a week and domestic work is 7 days a week.