Can me and my spouse agree how to divide assets when divorcing or do the courts decide ?

SelectionNo3078 · 2023-12-19T20:37:33+00:00

You can negotiate whatever terms you agree on but the court can still modify or object to them

ballzdeepinbacon · 2023-12-19T20:57:43+00:00

Just be careful on this - make sure your ex has appropriate legal representation and they know she agrees. If she changes her mind down the road, it gets messy fast. I had stuff in writing my ex was trying to change.

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2023-12-19T21:28:54+00:00

File for a uncontested divorce where you and your spouse share no debts or finances together and neither of you seek spousal support. That’s what I did it took 91 days and I got a letter in the mail saying the court has dissolve the marriage didn’t even have to show up to court . That letter is now in a frame in my game room so in the near future if I want to make a stupid decision like getting married again I can just look at it and know how lucky I got off.

Royal_Win5362 · 2023-12-19T20:40:21+00:00

How wonderful that you guys are not fighting over money! That's certainly not the case in most divorces. You can definitely deviate from court guidelines and draft an agreement yourself. Some states would still require you to do the full financial disclosure and lay out the math. For example, in New York, if someone's waiving alimony, the math would still have to be performed in the divorce packet, so the court knows that the parties are aware of the amount of alimony but decided to forgo voluntarily. There's a toolto help with financial disclosure and performing the math.

47omek · 2023-12-19T22:31:30+00:00

No, the courts won't force her to take 50%. I had one uncontested divorce where I kept a large majority of the assets. We had to both go to the uncontested docket day at court and the judge asked both of us a couple questions, including asking the ex whether she understood she was getting substantially less than half of the assets. She answered that she understood and was OK with it and the judge signed the paperwork. Done deal.

lewtus72 · 2023-12-19T20:54:21+00:00

Yes you can clearly do that and if you can agree to split stuff, that's the best way to go. Otherwise the courts will decide. That's currently what's happening to me. It was highly contentious divorce. We won't be able to agree on anything.

Keep in mind anything before the marriage is yours considered premarital and that doesn't get split up.

pk2at · 2023-12-19T21:19:44+00:00

Court will accept what you present and many counties have option to not disclose anything. It looks like you are in the 4% or so 'strategic non contested divorces'. Are you getting any tax benefit out of your divorce?

Classic_Dill · 2023-12-19T21:50:53+00:00

My ex and i cant stand each other and we did it ourselves, so can you...i got almost everything!!! LOL

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-12-19T21:15:30+00:00

No, financially you could settle for whatever you both agree to. When you cannot agree that’s when a judge steps in and makes the decision for you. At that point the legal fees become enormous.

Child support is mandatory and set by the state for the most part.

I would try to locate the winning lottery ticket she has before divorcing her. No clue why she would just walk away with nothing unless you are trying to coerce her into that decision with some dirt on her or worse.

What’s the background? Why would she just say screw it to the money?

domo_roboto · 2023-12-19T21:17:15+00:00

According to my mediator (in California), you can negotiate pretty much everything except for child support which is calculated. However, the mediator and the judge are supposed to take a high level view to see if everything is roughly fair. If the mediator hears from your spouse that she doesn't want it, then he/she will go along with it. If your spouse also retains a personal lawyer to review the final MSA, they may raise concerns. Then it's submitted to the judge who can raise questions, but if it's not coerced, they would usually approve.

ramboton · 2023-12-20T05:53:49+00:00

Mine was over 25 years ago. I was split from my wife and dating a paralegal. She wrote up the paperwork, no access to my retirement, 100% physical custody of the kids, visitation every other weekend. No spouse support. My wife signed it and the court approved.

I don't think I will be as lucky the 2nd time, guess I did not learn my lesson.....

Title	Can me and my spouse agree how to divide assets when divorcing or do the courts decide ?
Author	TheSmartPornstache
Upvotes	10
Comments	21
Date	December 19, 2023 8:24 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/18mbj4b/can_me_and_my_spouse_agree_how_to_divide_assets/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/can-me-and-my-spouse-agree-how-to-divide-assets.1241155 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241155

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