Would I be losing female privileges? What types of female privileges would I be losing?? (FTM Trans Male)

BetSuspicious6989 · 2024-01-23T18:33:34+00:00

Check out YouTube. There are people who have experienced it and share their stories. There are also a few books that cover it in detail. Most men feel discriminated against because they aren’t attractive they’re short or don’t make a lot of money. Male loneliness is probably the biggest issue most men face today. “Nobody wants me or cares about me” This is obviously a huge change so doing your due diligence is important and should not be treated lightly.

Qantourisc · 2024-01-23T19:03:19+00:00

If you have Instagram check TheTinMen , it has loads of things that you will have to endure.

Also maybe get a copy of "Self-Made Man, Norah Vincent" it's a woman who writes about the experience of being a man.

kuzism · 2024-01-23T19:43:57+00:00

Norah Vincent wrote that the only time she has ever been considered excessively feminine was during her stint as a man. Her alter ego, Ned, was assumed to be gay on several occasions. Features which had been perceived as butch when she presented as a woman were perceived as oddly effeminate when she presented as a man. Vincent asserted that, since the experiment, she had more fully realized the benefits of being female and the disadvantages of being male, stating, "I really like being a woman. … I like it more now because I think it's more of a privilege."

Vincent also stated that she had gained more sympathy and understanding for men and the male condition: "Men are suffering. They have different problems than women have but they don't have it better. They need our sympathy, they need our love, and they need each other more than anything else. They need to be together.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norah\_Vincent

ziekktx · 2024-01-23T18:42:20+00:00

Have you ever had someone actually care about how you're doing, and would you miss that?

Derpalator · 2024-01-23T18:45:52+00:00

Tough road to hoe. Just expect that no one cares, especially about you. Stiff upper lip and all that. Nobody to hold door or lift heavy things, be ready to pay for everything always.

volleyballbeach · 2024-01-23T21:08:12+00:00

If you are “normal” height as a woman, as a man you will be short.

Even with testosterone you will be relatively weak for a man and your bones will never grow as strong as a genetic man’s so competitive sports will be out the window.

If you have any feminine interests but fully pass as a man, your interests will no longer be socially acceptable.

Passing as a man you will face social pressure to be “masculine”.

As a black man your odds of being falsely convicted of a crime will go up slightly.

nexusmoonshot · 2024-01-23T18:57:55+00:00

Well, you're going to be expected to tough it out no matter how painful the situation. Handshakes are usually the norm versus hugs. My father's side of the family is very traditional and most of the older men served in Foreign Wars. They all hug the females, and extend a handshake to the males. My mother's side of the family is a lot warmer, but I'd say they are in the minority. I'd say that male loneliness and mental health are topics that are generally overlooked and neglected, even though males commit suicide at an alarming rate.

WhereProgressIsMade · 2024-01-23T20:21:41+00:00

The biggest one is women tend to have an in-group bias and will tend to take the woman's side on something and not the man's. Men have an out-group bias and will tend to take the woman's side on something and not the man.

You can test it yourself by digging up a post from the aita sub from a few months ago on some kind of male-female relationship issue. Swap all the genders and repost it. Then compare the types of responses you get. It's always very different and lopsided favoring the "woman".

Top men may have a kind of privledge. Studies have found a correlation with men's height and being CEO or other leadership positions. There's doesn't seem to be any explanation for this other than people treat taller men better or respecting them easier or more. It's possible there are similar things for being exceptionally handsome with a chiseled jaw and muscular. Almost all FTM that do pass as men, come across as very effeminate men (shorter, feminine facial features, less muscle, fairer skin) and therefore get treated like average joe (aka like shit), and not like a top guy.

I've heard many stories of FtM getting tons of support during the process but once they start passing, it evaporates and getting treated like a man actually sucks.

I forget the name of the detransition sub but someone said there are a lot more FTMTF than MTFTM, mostly seemed to be due to them doing it in the first place expecting there to be some kind of male privledge that never materialized. Feminism has sold that lie surprisingly well unfortunately. So make sure that's not why you're doing it or you'll just be disappointed. By even asking the question here, it suggests it may be.

Acousmetre78 · 2024-01-23T20:11:07+00:00

If your abused no one believes you, no one cares how you feel, you have no value without a high paying job and great looks.

FourFsOfLife · 2024-01-23T21:32:22+00:00

As a female the default general paradigm you operate in is that you’re Good. Once you “become” (for lack of a better wording) male you will quickly find that on this side of the river you’re Bad.

Mycroft033 · 2024-01-23T21:48:03+00:00

You’ll find the world is a LOT colder once you present male. Once fully presenting male, you’ll get pulled over more often, don’t call 911 unless you absolutely have to because they’re likely to assume you’re the perp, and definitely don’t call about domestic violence because they’ll automatically assume you’re the sole perp. Nobody’s going to smile at you on the streets, and nobody’s going to randomly engage you in conversation. You’re far more likely to get mugged or robbed, so lock your doors and don’t ever go into sketchy places. You might need to sign up for the draft, check with the local recruiting office. You will find that women as a whole default as somewhat hostile towards you in public spaces, you will be regarded as a threat until proven otherwise. Therapy will be less effective for you, but you will probably need it more. You will be considered far less for most jobs, and you might find it difficult to land one. Do not vent to most people, they will likely not tolerate it. Expressing your emotions in any external manner will be frowned upon, and any perceived feminine interests will negatively reflect on you, especially with women. You will find romance much harder to find.

The_SamFisher · 2024-01-23T19:34:19+00:00

Please don't. Love who you are, don't change yourself. You are special and don't need to change.

Critical-Citron181 · 2024-01-23T19:36:20+00:00

I appreciate you asking this question, I don't want to assume but this is the first time I have come across someone asking this question and it's a very valid one.

Firstly, special treatment; as men, we ultimately take on the role of provider, even if it is not inherently stated. It's kind of built into our dna to provide. A natural instinct. Doesn't matter the relationship dynamic. As the provider this means sacrifice. Often choosing to put our s/o and/or children ahead of our own needs, happiness and oftentimes self care. We HAVE to be content with this for the rest of our lives.

It often forces us to be very solitary creatures even within our own social networks, leading to shortened life spans sadly.

Secondly, underappreciated forms of privilege; since a mans natural instinct is to provide and protect for those we care about, or for those in our care to the point of our own detriment. Most of what we do, can be categorized as underappreciated forms of privilege, simple acts like walking on the right side of the sidewalk, to consistently paying the bills on time, and providing plenty of disposable income to our s/o and/kids to use for their own needs, to planning and preparing for the future (kids college, retirement, further education, unexpected needs, vacations etc).

Most of the time it is what is expected of the man, and often we can expect no reciprocated gratitude for all that we do. On top of shouldering the blame for any if not all that may cause hiccups, speed bumps, issues along the journey of life.

All in All, we all have our roles to play.

As someone who also comes from a Racial group, being a male does come with a few more difficulties. Racial profiling is a big one. Men are usually the first to be blamed, and Male POC are the first to be blamed for anything and everything within that group.

Being a male is in itself a privilege, we are great problem solvers, we often have great outlooks on life, because we choose to see the positives in life. We focus on things that matter and things that will help us grow and be better, stronger men. When it comes to our professional lives, we help each other. We need to work on supporting each other in our personal lives.

If you need me to expand on anything feel free to let me know, I tried to be as condensed as I could be.

Reaper621 · 2024-01-23T20:04:31+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/2chromes/s/ukmRscfL5R

I'll just leave this here.

Alternative_Poem445 · 2024-01-23T20:11:48+00:00

being male means people assume you are potentially dangerous and violent, that is the main impression you will give off to people. being female the main impression is that you are nice and soft. women have a higher in group bias and men are very conpetitive with each other. men can climb the social ladder by being clever or outright overpowering another man while women climb the social ladder by using alliances with other people, both with their in group (other women) and any partners she attracts. socially you will have a difficult time socializing with other men outside of a competitive environment like a team game or potentially at work. women have the unique ability of being able to form a baseline relationship with basically any other women at any given time. your relationships are founded on and bolstered by solidarity. heres what i would have to say to you, unless you are so repulsed by your genitals that you would want to cut them off, i wouldnt do anything dramatic to alter your body. good luck to you.

solar-garlic1776 · 2024-01-23T19:31:18+00:00

Fellow gentlemen, seriously

2024-01-23T18:52:52+00:00

Just accept the gender you were born with, thatll be much easier for you up to about 30, but youll have to behave feminine or atleast look like one. Ive also seen the transformation up close with a friend, cant recommend it to anyone, she wants to be female again but yeah... Cant really undo the damage. Id suggest you work on the root causes of your issues instead of becoming a transformer.

KangarooCrapper · 2024-01-23T23:51:59+00:00

See Norah Vincent for further clarification.. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/18/obituaries/norah-vincent-dead.html#:~:text=Vincent%20down%3B%20she%20felt%20alienated,and%20alienating%20them%20from%20themselves.

2024-01-23T23:14:35+00:00

Please don’t, the world will not care about you at all as a man. You’ll still have the physical strength of a woman but the lack of help and empathy of a man. Believe me, it would be a HUGE downgrade.

iainmf · 2024-01-23T23:42:59+00:00

I think most differences in treatment between women and men can be explained by 'hyperagency/hypoagency.

That is, men are seen as having more agency(hyperagency) than women(hypoagency). What this means is that men are see as directly responsible for their own circumstances, and women's circumstances are seen as being significantly influenced by external factors.

For example, a study of criminal sentencing found that judges tend to see men's criminality as the result of the man being a bad person, but women criminality as the result bad circumstances. This leads to longer sentences for men.

Another study looking at perceptions of poor people found that people blamed men more for their poverty. "Participants also believed that men would manage the assistance they received from the state more poorly than women."

So what this means for you is that it is likely that if people see you as a man, you will receive less help and support, be blamed for your own situation, be seen as dangerous or a threat. You wont be able to approach strangers as easily, you will probably have to increase the amount of personal space you give people, and people will be less comfortable with you touching them.

An additional issue is if you happen to fall back on female behaviors to try to get help, this will likely make people less responsive to you, and you will be less likely to get help.

On the plus side if you manage to be particularly successful, people are more likely to attribute your success to personal virtues rather than luck, or environment.

denisc9918 · 2024-01-24T02:14:42+00:00

One of them would certainly be that "You're talking like a woman". If you had put that you're 20 in the heading it would have been perfect and all we need or want. EVERYTHING else is irrelevant.

Do you really want to live like that? Will you be able to and be happy?

Read Norah Vincents book "Self-Made Man" for a start. She has videos on her going on dates as a man and iirc she never went the whole date without confessing she was actually a woman Watch them and pay close attention to the reaction of the women when she confesses, a lot of what you need to know is right there.

Good Luck.

AdamChap · 2024-01-24T04:24:50+00:00

I'm going to suggest you have a form of body dysmorphia and urge you not to change.

You cannot become a man, unless you were born that way. No surgery or hormones will change that.

Society has known this doesn't work for a long time as well as in 2009 when I was a teenager we studied both the nature and nurture arguments about sex. Look up 'David Reimer'

Just because you hate your vagina, it doesn't make you a man. Just because you feel you aren't a good woman, doesn't mean you'll be better as a man. It just doesn't work like that.

RandyLahey944 · 2024-01-23T20:24:23+00:00

20 years old young adult ftm trans… what in the fuck did i just read? What is that mean

MrAnonPoster · 2024-01-23T23:01:47+00:00

All of them

sgt_oddball_17 · 2024-01-24T03:34:35+00:00

Read the book Self-Made Man by Norah Vincent.

She disguised herself as a man for months and wrote a book about it.

She ended up being glad she was a woman.

shit-zen-giggles · 2024-01-24T06:14:25+00:00

Hi,

I'm glad you're considering the down sides before transitioning.

The following accounts of F2M Transgender persons might be answering (some of) both of your questions. I'd recommend you study them carefully.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/zwes7b/comment/j1xw4hy/?context=3

particularly relevant: Woman Becomes A Man, Realizes Life Is Hard. Says We Should Be More Like Women

Also there's Nora Vincent's story: 2006 Self Made Man: Norah Vincent chooses Female Privilege over Male Privilege

I hope this was the kind of information you were looking for and that it helps in making an informed decision.

Angryasfk · 2024-01-24T08:55:02+00:00

I think the best people to ask would be other FTM people. We do have some talk about their experiences here from time to time, although this isn’t really a dedicated forum for it.

One claimed he was taken more seriously as a guy, but was avoided more, viewed with suspicion around kids, avoided by women etc.

I think it depends, in part, on how well you present.

Cowboy71113 · 2024-01-24T10:18:58+00:00

Master your emotions asap, contrary to popular belief you cannot express anger anymore.

wildKarenusedscREEch · 2024-01-24T19:06:56+00:00

Remember the chick that wrote a book about pretending to be a man for a year and then committing suicide from the harsh treatment? Welcome to playing life on veteran difficulty, recruit!

2024-01-23T23:05:37+00:00

The human race is a dimorphic species. Trans does not exist.

Present_League9106 · 2024-01-23T21:14:01+00:00

You're not losing anything and gaining everything. Welcome to patriarchy. Welcome to the dark side!

Sir_Spectacular · 2024-01-24T11:44:15+00:00

I don't think it'll be too bad. Speaking only for myself, I haven't really experienced any big, impactful instances of sexism in my life. It's mostly just minor things, so far.

One big thing is the vilifying of masculinity, and the perception of men as predators. If you start passing as a man, expect people to be more wary around you, and as a black man, expect people to be extremely wary around you. I'm whiter than milk, so I can't really speak to the black male experience, but as I understand it, you're practically treated as a criminal by default. Women especially will be suspicious of your motives, especially if you're hanging out near womens' spaces, or around children. Men on this subreddit often worry about false accusations of sexual misconduct as well, but in your case, being AFAB might actually serve as an advantage there, since a lack of physical penis might make you less of a "threat" in people's minds.

You'll also have to get used to being ignored, whenever you're not being feared, that is. Men are sort of the "background NPC characters" of modern society. We're everywhere, but we're rarely noticed, and often taken for granted. I think strangers, in general, are less friendly to men, especially those of low social status, though it's a bit hard to know how big of a difference it makes since I've never been a woman for comparison.

One good thing is, however, that solid male friendships tend to be low drama. "Bromance" is definitely a thing, and when we make good male friendships, with good guys, we tend to be open, honest, and "real" with each other in a way women just aren't. Female friends of mine have expressed jealousy over how relatively free of mean-girl-behavior and backstabbing male friendships can be. That's definitely an advantage.

I've also heard, from a transman I talked to a while ago, that testosterone makes a huge difference in how you feel. Not only are you a lot hornier, but you're often more assertive, decisive, and motivated... It's definitely a key component of the "masculine mentality." This is all just hearsay though, so take it with a grain of salt.

ReasonableTable401 · 2024-01-25T13:58:53+00:00

I think - if you are looking to hear what kind of negative repercussions can happen with transition, to head over to r/detrans. Granted, the sub is against transition, but there are a lot of FTMTF and you can get first-hand perspective on why FTM didn't work out for them. A lot of their complaints turn out to be due to social issues - not so much anti-trans issues - but rather related to loss of status. Also, you probably know this, but once you go down the medicalization route, some things you will never get back (voice, hair from hair loss, etc...).

2024-01-26T03:57:09+00:00

Men are absolutely lonely so whatever friend group you had say goodbye to it being a man is rough and if you get raped it's on you ain't nobody gonna help and the hospital will probably laugh at you if your not dealing with some sexist trauma nurse like I just encountered frankly being a man sucks but I don't exactly have the guts to drug myself into a female either

alter_furz · 2024-01-29T21:52:43+00:00

Prepare for everyone to stop giving a sнit about what you feel.

You will be a threat by default, sometimes people will cross the street so as not to walk alongside you.

You will be blamed by default should any physical violence happen.

If a woman commits an act of vilence against you, reporting it is useless. It will be downplayed.

You won't be able to smile at children in the park and get away with such an atrocious act of pedophilia.

You will be way more lonely.

In situations where you provoke compassion in people as a girl, you will provoke disgust.

There will be burden of expectations on you in things such as income, performance, etc.

There will be no shelters for you, no support groups, no reproductive rights.

No white knights will stand between your stupid choices in life and their corresponding consequences.

You will owe everybody everything, and no one will care about what they owe you.

You will get real years of jail time for the same things that land women 100hr of community service.

If you study, you will get a lower grade than a girl, even if you copy-pasted everything letter-by-letter.

It won't be as easy to find a free place to stay during a few rough days.

No simps will be throwing their resources your way. No one will give free therapy.

Every time you will speak about the issues you are facing, you will be told you are not man enough, and to "man up", "suck it up"

And BOY if you are short.................................

Title	Would I be losing female privileges? What types of female privileges would I be losing?? (FTM Trans Male)
Author	kekedawntajaxxx2005
Upvotes	0
Comments	49
Date	January 23, 2024 6:01 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/19dui7c/would_i_be_losing_female_privileges_what_types_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/would-i-be-losing-female-privileges-what-types-of.1243606 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243606

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