I'm broken. I look at pictures of me and my kids that I took for Christmas or recently to send to family and I just see myself as worthless. I was with this girl for 9 years, and tied so much of my identity and self-worth into who I was for her as a partner and husband. But about three-ish years ago I made a change for work and schedule to provide more for us while sacrificing my health, mentally and physically. And ever since then, she's gradually loved me less and treated me as less than worth her time. Only for it all to culminate in her leaving, no care for couples counseling, no care for upholding vows or promises.

I don't love who I am anymore. I wanted to die when she first told me she was done, and I still haven't fully gotten over that notion. She's completely unfazed by what's she's doing and who she now is, and she's off living her life like I never even was a part of it. The only thing is I'm forced to still see her because we have 2 boys together.

How does any of this get better? She changed in almost every way, every value and belief. When she said she was done, it was after months of me trying in spite of her apathy to save us. And then she just came to loathe me. Who recovers from that? Someone I knew for so long, I gave everything for her and we went through hell together, and now I'm a small, insignificant footnote in her life. I'm a bother for trying to save us, for asking for closure.

How am I deserving of love if it was so easy to abandon what I gave for her? If all of my sacrifices came to this, why should I ever hope I'll find another woman who is different? I didn't see any of this ever happening, yet it did.

I'm trying to move forward, find new hobbies, reinvent myself, finish school, etc. But I can't find a way to move past the reality that I wasn't enough despite everything I did. I never felt seen for what I did as a partner, just seen for where I wasn't good enough in her eyes.