The letter I wish my wife wrote me after she filed for divorce.

Isthisthereddits · 2024-02-19T03:17:20+00:00

Mine is a covert narcissist so she led me on dangling the carrot of hope till she found solid ground just in case. I fought so hard to find understanding and be better, but I was doing everything she asked for. I wasn't the solution and had my faults, but they were faults and cracks in myself through a decade of mental and emotional abuse. I felt like I was dangling off a mountain by a rope. I learned while I was working on me for her she was sleeping around. I cut that rope and fell a long way before I started to climb back up. I'm getting better now. Six months in and the progress in ending the ruminating and anger are fading it's like breaking the shackles that kept me so low. I'm excited to see where I go next.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2024-02-18T20:15:51+00:00

“Dear” letters are reserved for people in relationships. Once the missiles are launched, all you get from me are your decree absolute, a Financial Settlement and Custody Arrangements.

averagesnowman69 · 2024-02-17T23:45:45+00:00

Wow. Hard and rough, I’m sorry you’re going through that. If it’s of any consolation, now that I’m 2 years post divorce, I do wish my ex would’ve done something like this. As brutal as may seem, it leaves things super clear and leaves no room for doubt. Your path forward is but one way, my friend. Keep calm and divorce on! Sending you good vibes and courage!

DWagon77 · 2024-02-17T14:23:01+00:00

I initiated my divorce because she would not even though she was the one cheating. She wanted an open marriage but that was a non-starter for so any reasons. I now have primary custody or our 2 kids and when anything I comes up about the divorce she says that I am the one that divorced her. This was after I pleaded for counseling and trying to work things out for over a year.

MidniteOG · 2024-02-17T14:13:34+00:00

Fuck, that letter hurt me. My situation is similar to yours in that I’m in the limbo stage, for a decision I didn’t make. That letter is for the best, but that doesn’t erase any pain

SelectionNo3078 · 2024-02-17T13:42:25+00:00

Fuck that conscious uncoupling bullshit

The letter I want from my wife is one where she actually looks at and acknowledges her role in how we got here

Beyond saying she can’t remember what she was thinking and feeling that’s the best I got from her in counseling sessions she barely showed up for and rarely said anything.

I also want to know if she fucked someone or just wanted to

JimHalpertsSmirk · 2024-02-17T13:30:50+00:00

Mine wrote something approximating this tone.

A week later, she was spying on me.

A month later she attempted the silver bullet.

A month after that, she was hunting for dick.

A month after that, she was becoming a sex worker.

And about 6 weeks after that nearly every sentence of a sworn pleading was verifiably false.

Actions speak louder than words.

xosto · 2024-02-17T12:54:55+00:00

I appreciate you were able to write a firm closure letter for yourself like this. My ex-wife and I had several conversations during separation where she literally said phrases from this letter. How did you write it??

.

roshi-roshi · 2024-02-17T12:39:03+00:00

Man, this letter is sobering. I’m still very stuck in the mindset that I can do something to fix this. I just obsess over it all day. The suffering this is causing my sons and I is just unbearable. I’m in such disbelief. This cannot be allowed to happen.

Incidentally, I have this letter I wrote one week before she told me she wanted to split. I want to give it to her. I just keep hoping. Family, my therapist and our former couples therapist is telling me I just have to move on. I can’t. There’s got to be something I can do for my sons!

Sea_Purple2104 · 2024-02-17T08:10:32+00:00

My ex wife get along fine without any ugliness but our divorce was not normal. 92 percent of divorces of college educated couples are initiated by the wife. That is so abnormal that one knows that woman are encouraged by the system to call an end to marriage. I initiated the divorce because she cheated on me and because of that I didn’t feel deep seeded anger towards her

Is0prene · 2024-02-17T08:00:57+00:00

If a truth serum existed and was administered to my wife she would have written me the following letter:

Dear [man I'm divorcing]

I am divorcing you because I found another dick to ride on. Its a new dick and is very refreshing to me and I like it. I don't care that it will completely fuck up our kids' lives, because this dick makes me happy and alive. I was afraid to get divorced, but then I realized American divorce laws benefit me greatly while fucking you over big time. So in a way, we are both getting fucked equally here, just in different ways. I would like to say no hard feelings, but the truth is I really just don't give a rats ass about anyone else in the world but myself. Just remember while you are working your ass off to pay me child support, I will be using this money to by my AP a new cock ring and other fun toys to use in the bedroom.

[wife who divorced me]

denvercaniac · 2024-02-17T07:57:24+00:00

No one who cared about you would've deceived you like that. It's unfortunate. May you have better days ahead.

Title	The letter I wish my wife wrote me after she filed for divorce.
Author	Stitching
Upvotes	22
Comments	36
Date	February 17, 2024 7:35 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1aswefk/the_letter_i_wish_my_wife_wrote_me_after_she/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/the-letter-i-wish-my-wife-wrote-me-after-she-filed.1245637 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245637

Comments