Why has cold approaching such a bad reputition?

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-23T03:59:15+00:00

When I was in my pua phase I used to work so hard for pussy. I'd go out all the time and would get shot down a lot and succeed maybe a little.

Then one day I was hanging out at my favorite day game spot chilling and getting ready for my routine hunting, when I saw a group of young guys, decked out in peacocking gear run around and harassing girls wjth their "I need a female opinion" openers. Really old school mystery method/rsd bullshit.

Seeing it from afar it looked like the girls were totally creeped out and uncomfortable. They all had a look if like "am I on hidden camera?". It was so cringe that I told myself "god, I hope that's not how I come across because I'd have to kill myself otherwise".

That day I realized that there is something inherently very creepy about going out wjth the intention of picking up girls or cold approaching for the sake of getting a number or getting laid. I would think of all the guys who I knew who didn't have trouble wjth women and would get girlfriends easily and none of them had to do any of this shit. They just acted normal and got to know women wjthout an agenda and they were 10 times more successful than I ever was.

So I resolved that day to never go out with the purpose of picking up women. My purpose become to have fun, to enjoy myself and to connect wjth others. When you let go of your agenda and trying to pickup women, a funny thing happens. They start being much more interested in you. You no longer have flakes, resistance, playing games. Women actually want to chase you, because you are not a creep who is offering himself or who wants something from them without the intention of giving anything back.

troothherts · 2022-07-23T00:23:00+00:00

Because of the creepy cunts ruining it for everyone else.

Steve77307 · 2022-07-23T06:15:22+00:00

I think it's generally seen as a power move that can be viewed as aggression. Men are heavily warned by society not to be too pushy or too aggressive with women. It's a natural viewpoint to have, but It's been fostered by the metoo movement and sensationalism on the news.

EnjoyUpdates · 2022-07-23T02:36:59+00:00

There's a lot of echo chambers where someone's favorite YouTuber or streamer made fun of the community so now their opinion becomes there's. They don't realize they don't have social circles like their favorite YouTuber/Streamer and will have to approach a girl to try and get a gf.

helpMeOut9999 · 2022-07-23T00:32:10+00:00

Becuase individuals have no sense of their worth on the dating market, think selfishly, socially inept, think of woman as sex objects, etc. Etc.

If you are a 5-6 an 8 doesn't want you approaching her. It's like a bum on the street asking for change for the 100th time.

If you suck at conversation and dressed like crap, you shouldn't be interupting some girl at the grocery store.

If you aren't being respectful and offering value add to a woman's day, then you shouldn't either.

It's just a bunch of dudes "want some dick? Want some dick? Want some dick?"

That being said, I cold approach and I'm very successful at it because I don't overcomplicate it, I can read if a woman is open to it and I'm not a socially inept dip shit

Leo7S · 2022-07-23T01:45:53+00:00

Cold approach is doing hard selling on girls!

TransitionNormal1387 · 2022-07-23T06:47:29+00:00

People over think irl Interactions in 2022

Build your social circle ⭕️ of people with likeminded Interests. When I’m out with my friends I end up taking more shots with randoms At bars etc. talk to people! Talk to everyone that’s around you. Man or woman. Fuck, just engage with people and see where it goes. By all means use dating apps, but also utilize the real life situations. Get used to starting random convos with everyone! Life is too short to live in arbitrary mindsets. Go out, get to know your city. Your life will be filled with abundance in no time!

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-07-23T06:57:50+00:00

Twenty years ago, I remember when I cold approached a girl and ten minutes later we were in a dressing room. I'm sorry for all the annoyed people that afternoon, but after getting that to happen I found that it was actually possible. I had done it, such that I couldn't even finish. I was too nervous. It was as much an adventure for her it was for me. That was before the nine eleven attack, and before any cellphones.

After that I knew never to push humanity to brink of letting me have a bj for the sake of just pursuading a girl to do so.

Instead, I found that it was better to approach the public like these were all shared moments and that happiness could still be sought by just talking to people. It was a much different time then. I'd like to believe the pursuit of happiness is still live and well.

incognito3107 · 2022-07-23T08:08:25+00:00

Women are more calibrated for natural ways of meeting your potential romantic partner on their lifepath, like at school, at work, at parties, at holiday trip, at hobbies meetings etc. Dating applications are ok too, because they are pretty "safe", women can choose whatever they want and ghost whoever they want. Whereas, they are completely not prepared mentally for cold approaching, that lack of control and instructions how to behave may make them feel threatened or embarassed.

VNF420 · 2022-07-23T09:38:25+00:00

Because it's hard and people hate hard things

itsondahouse · 2022-07-23T15:16:03+00:00

Guys cold approaching can look soo needy and creppy.

runaround_fruitcop · 2022-07-23T15:34:36+00:00

As a woman, if im not at a place meant for hooking up or getting picked up 99% of the time idc about a person tedious same old same old approach.

Pretending to be buying something. Pretending to have something in common. Making excuses to talk to me.

None of its inherently bad. But it's usually obvious and mostly just shows me that this person has either been doing this to any woman he sees or makes a habit of picking woman up (basically a male version of a ho and doesn't make me feel good about him as someone I'd like to see again)

If im busy, I don't like chit chatting. I have errands to run and many are time sensitive.

Saying all of this, I don't mind men approaching me but leave me alone if I say no.

I'm always polite and smile and if im not interested I say so without being a bitch.

But a lot of these dudes can't understand that.

And sometimes I feel pressured.

Like once I was walking on a pier sort of bridge thing and a dude just stands in my way, blocking my entire path and asking for my socials.

I felt so flustered and nervous I just gave him my info and later blocked him because I didn't know what else to do.

There's nothing wrong with approaching women, but when a man does outside of a bar, club, or generic watering hole, I feel like it's a regular thing for him. You know, player, who gets around. And that's his prerogative and I'm not judging it, but it's not my personal cup of tea.

And secondly my minds last place of thought is attraction or sex. I just want the conversation to be over so I can resume my day to day tasks.

And im speaking for myself. Not every woman feels like this. Many women do like being approached.

I'm just adding my own views to perhaps help someone understand.

Basically, if you approach me outside of places meant for hooking up etc, I'm going to assume it's a hobby for you (no judgment but not my type of man I'd like to see)

And or SOME of them come off as too aggressive and or won't take a polite no as a good enough reason to part ways after the interaction

devilkingx2 · 2022-07-23T00:51:01+00:00

It's the same as anything else.

When you try people will tell you that you're crazy

When you most likely fail people will say that you're a fool and a clown.

If you ever finally succeed they'll say that you got lucky or are a cheater or were born with privilege and had an easy life.

Cold approaching, becoming rich, becoming famous, becoming successful, accomplishing anything difficult or rare, etc.

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-07-23T18:58:21+00:00

Because it’s creepy af

Title	Why has cold approaching such a bad reputition?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	19
Comments	39
Date	July 23, 2022 12:21 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w5pup8/why_has_cold_approaching_such_a_bad_reputition/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-has-cold-approaching-such-a-bad-reputition.1253801 https://theredarchive.com/post/1253801

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