Why do women say one thing and then do the exact opposite?

Frankiedrunkie · 2022-03-28T20:00:40+00:00

Dude it’s easy

Don’t touch me = she is not attracted to you

SupperDup · 2022-03-28T20:31:33+00:00

Best advice I heard on this is this:

The woman is the barometer for the actions a man should take. The barometer is sub-communicated.

If she tells you to not touch her, you've either escalated too quickly, or she's just not attracted to you and doesn't want to escalate in the first place.

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2022-03-28T21:43:16+00:00

The disconnect is usually because they're trying to let you down gently.

What you really want to do is find out why you're having trouble generating attraction. Post field reports about your dates and ask for advice on where you could improve.

nordik1 · 2022-03-28T21:06:51+00:00

So this didn't make any sense and then I peeped into your post history.

I'm a male and I've been on over 25 online dating dates. Almost all were first dates going nowhere.

I get a match. I do some ice breaking witty chit chat. I ask her out on a date. I use both Hinge and Bumble.

On the first date I greet her with a gentle hug. I buy her coffee, and we typically sit outside or go down to a park.

I then just talk with her normally trying to get to know her finding some common ground / laughter. I like hearing people talk about themselves, and I usually share stories of the hilarious things kids do at my work (I work at a public school).

Sometimes I'll talk a bit about grad school / my hobby of mountain bike riding / somewhere I recently visited. But usually I just try to let the conversation drive itself. Best convos take us both along for the ride. I try to let my date do most of the talking if I could.

If she has a bracelet on, I'll compliment her bracelet and gently grab her hand to have a closer look (Or if her nails or done / she has a tattoo / whatever). Just a few seconds of skin contact.

Then upon leaving I read her body language, and 99 percent of the time she just hugs with her head turned.

Then I text "hope you made it home okay. It was nice getting to know you more today."

Then the following day I ask her out on a 2nd date, and then I get the "no connection, nothing in common, no chemistry," abstract rejection message.

The responses you are getting about touching women on a date are in response to the specific scenario you spell out here. And you're treating it as some kind of absolute that women are the issue in this scenario.

Stujitsu2 · 2022-03-28T22:40:05+00:00

Look OP. There is no rule about touching or not touching on a first date. But there is a rule about not touching those who don't want to be touched. So ask yourself if you know when a woman wants to be touched or not. If you cannot tell, try this as a rule...let her touch you first.

Mistermistery101 · 2022-03-28T22:42:12+00:00

1) always listen to what a girl does, not necessarily what she says.

2) Most girls, touch, kiss, and fuck on the 1st night. The majority. It's just that they don't do that to YOU. One girl could be telling you that she doesn't kiss on the first date, when yesterday around the same time she just finished sucking some dudes dick.

If a girl isn't allowing you to touch her or escalate, it tells you she isn't attracted to you. if she's trying to act like a good girl (or even worse, you get that response of "good girl" with most of your dates) then the issue is that you're not being seen as a sexual dude.

Maybe she thinks you'll think she's a slut if she expresses herself freely. Maybe she just is not sexually attracted to you. Whatever the reason the issue is not you happening to find only good girls. It's that girls only show YOU their "good girl".

Now you have to ask yourself, why?

YtBlue · 2022-03-29T00:41:17+00:00

Introspection skills are terrible for men and women. For example, you crave sweets and most people think it's just because they themselves wanted them. In reality its a bunch of hormones pushing you to do that. You may not necessarily wanted it but your body did.

strikerx07 · 2022-03-28T20:54:40+00:00

Focus more on what she is doing rather than what she is saying and adjust your behavior accordingly.

SocialReject101 · 2022-03-28T20:16:09+00:00

Not every time. Depends on the situation. You have to follow her actions not words. For example if you see her enjoying herself in your company and she mentions you are not having sex tonight chances are she wants to have sex with you but wants to see whether you will get thrown off guard. If you remain unfazed, you are golden. Some of this behaviour is explained in shit tests. Google it

MeWuzBornIn1990 · 2022-03-29T09:37:52+00:00

Never take dating advice from a woman, lol.

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-03-29T07:43:45+00:00

Kayfabe. You know we not going have sleep with each other tonight right?

Then fucks later? She said it because she is thinking about it.

It is just the game. Learn what kayfabe is.

Also take words to seriously, look at actions.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-03-29T08:23:27+00:00

Most people do this not just girls

SYNDIFATE · 2022-03-29T14:58:39+00:00

Dont listen to what she says, listen to what she does. If she say that "don't touch me" while saying it like she's giggly or whatever touch the f out of her playfully. If she say dont touch me while disgusted or disinterested then dont

fondlemysausage · 2022-03-29T12:08:36+00:00

Women make rules for the men they don't like, and break those rules for the ones they do.

Take that however you will.

princelydeeds · 2022-03-28T20:03:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Cryp2pUnk69 · 2022-03-29T09:29:29+00:00

it depends if they are attracted to you.

PHVEDO · 2022-03-29T12:28:46+00:00

If she is attracted to you u are "allowed" to touch.

When not, she doesnt give you the right to touch, so you shouldnt. Simple as that.

U can do it but u are percieved as creepy and there is also no point the same way

0 multiplicated by any number will still be a 0.

Kadabrium · 2022-03-29T12:56:55+00:00

Involution. Look it up

2022-03-29T13:55:00+00:00

wtf always go for a hug when you first see eachother and mostly go for a kiss after, the rest is up to you two haha

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-03-29T16:24:16+00:00

Understand something, there are so many variables to what your asking...it would be impossible to give a straight, to the point answer. How this person was raised, their past dating relationships/dating, their religious beliefs, some crazy cultural norm, peer interaction can have an impact on when/if the relationship moves to a sexual/physical level. I've been with a few females that we have been having sex within 2 hours of meeting, dated one that we participated in manual hand, finger and oral stimulation for almost a month before actual sex. One other girl I thought I was in the first night. She tells me, I have to sleep with you before we have sex. She literally meant sleeping in the same bed together. We did, the next night Bam. Experiences, upbringing, religion or lack of, interaction with peers and many other things impact people's willingness to take a dating relationship to another level.

Title	Why do women say one thing and then do the exact opposite?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	62
Comments	60
Date	March 28, 2022 7:53 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tqhrrh/why_do_women_say_one_thing_and_then_do_the_exact/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-do-women-say-one-thing-and-then-do-the-exact.1263458 https://theredarchive.com/post/1263458

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