Need help Improving my game. Kinda shy?

hwillis891 · 2022-03-16T02:36:51+00:00

Honestly dude you need to learn how to be social. Willingly put yourself in situations where you have to talk to people. You need to join some sort of group like a biking group or a painting group and get to know other people before you worry about trying to get laid. Sex is all about social skill man. The guy who is most skilled socially will get all the women.

aznkor · 2022-03-16T03:31:08+00:00

one girl directly told me she wanted to blowjob me

they are not approaching.

Dude, that was her literally approaching you.

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2022-03-16T02:49:12+00:00

Just approach more, try to have conversation that is genuinely interesting, pay attention to her language whether physical or nonverbal, and if she seems uninterested then leave that female alone.

missterrcammeraa · 2022-03-16T03:37:05+00:00

You’re thinking “how can I impress them” I bet that’s why you’re freezing up. You don’t know what to say because you’re scared your going to fuck up that’s why you freeze.

You’re gonna die one day and if you keep doing this same thing your gonna regret it. It’s gonna be a lot of “why why whys” going thru your head and a lot of those why’s are gonna get answered and the answer you’ll say is “i should’ve just done it”. You keep playing with yourself and your gonna fuck around and find out

PsilocybinDisciple · 2022-03-16T06:21:59+00:00

Careful taking advice from a sub like this, I know the name is seduction but not all advice on this sub is even remotely good advice. You are a tad socially confused and I know because I once was too. You think just because women give you “the look” they will also make the first move. Wrong. I don’t know if this is by nature or an indoctrination of culture but men make the first move. This “look” you get is a women soliciting your attention for you to make a move. Unless you are walking around with pink hair or face paint it should be fairly obvious especially in a club setting that she is attracted to you. Where this becomes difficult is you need the willingness to make an asshat of yourself and to be yourself. Not to worry if you’re coming off strong and clingy. In fact, if you come off to passive like a very respectful gentleman, you are gonna have less success. Again, I don’t know why this is but in my subjective experience aggressive flirting is the best flirting. When you first start making the first moves you will not be the man and should expect it to be awkward. Awkward doesn’t always mean bad, it can actually be attractive to a girl because if she’s giving you “the look” chances are she’s looking for attention the rest of the men in the room are too anxious to give. I don’t know what kind of personality you have so this advice right here is probably not the best but I like to playfully insult and counter with a compliment. It’s unique, ballsy and soon after I’ll have her name. Lastly, exposure therapy. The more you put yourself out there, the more you experience awkwardness and rejection, the easier you’ll be at enduring the stress. If you are rejected 3 times in a night you’ll feel neurotic because you are not yet immune to the butterflies but if you have been rejected 10+ times slowly but surely you’ll find comfort in it. With comfort comes confidence and confidence sells sex

5_7pickup · 2022-03-16T03:45:51+00:00

I do solo nightclub game in Vegas. Go read my field reports.

Nullroute127 · 2022-03-16T09:45:59+00:00

A woman could be dripping wet at thinking about you, and not approach you. They will do everything BUT approach a man they're attracted to. They would much rather not have you in their life than take the social and ego risk to approach a guy. Only VERY few women will directly hit on a guy, and even then typically only if they're desperate, drunk, and/or not very feminine; all poor options. Alternatively, you're a wildly attractive, successful man with a lot of social proof (celebrity, etc.) they know they need to be competitive or will be completely ignored. This probably doesn't apply to you.

You're expected to make the first thing that's considered a 'move.' For all the talk of gender equality, feminism, and women power in modern society, a man to woman approach will follow gender norms for at least the next few millennia.

They expect you to have the cognition to pick up on their cues, and the confidence to act on those signals.

That said, part of what you may be noticing is a result of you not noticing them. Because you're not fawning over these girls outwardly, you may be a curiosity because you don't appear to be paying attention to them at all. You may find that when you try to pursue women actively, they don't seem nearly as interested. This is to be expected.

My suggestion is to go out with a friend. Have the friend tell you who to chat up and 1-2 conditions. For example, "Talk to the girl in white, tell her she looks like she just woke up and ask if she's ever tried a weighted blanket" or, "Go up to those two girls with this pocket bible, and ask them if they have a few moments to discuss our lord and savior John Cena." You're free to leave once you're done following orders, if you choose. You're free to stay and say whatever ludicrous or normal things come to mind, if you choose.

You get to mentally assign responsibility to the friend giving you orders. Pretend like you're a YoutTuber getting reaction videos; a scientist who has no expectation of what will happen and only wants to observe and react to what will happen. You know the outcome will not likely result in creating attraction, but that's not the goal.

You just want to convince your brain that the 'danger' impulse that it's sending you is a false alarm that can be safely ignored until you can progress to trying to create attraction intentionally.

waybetter94 · 2022-03-16T08:47:46+00:00

You sound like me a year back. For me I watched lots of videos on the flirting techniques from Craig Ferguson and Russel Brand. I swear their energy when flirting is incredibly smooth and it sticks with you.

I went from shy to ego in the skies in a healthy way. Crack in some jokes as well (notice they're comedians) You may not pull it off at first, sure. But YouTube has perfect examples with analysis of both comedian's techniques. Give it a try, you won't regret it.

Something to keep in mind: The mentality is you've got nothing to lose, don't take yourself too seriously, be able to laugh at yourself. Laughter is magic.

ld20r · 2022-03-16T15:19:19+00:00

If a woman stares your direction, you should be approaching her and moving towards, that’s her way of saying “it’s okay come over”

And if not, then politely apologise laugh it off then move on to the next person. This is super important to do because if you don’t end the conversation on a good or fun note you’ll always have the insecurity and anxiety in the back of your head with approaching and those are the exact two things that kill attraction, seduction and confidence.

theseoulplayer · 2022-03-16T08:19:06+00:00

I actually just posted up an article about exactly this thing earlier today. I give a 3-step way for introverts to start getting used to approaching people. You have to start off simple, because most introverts have mental conceptions of what will happen if they approach someone who is uninterested, or they're afraid of being considered creepy or something to that effect. I put together some easy steps to start getting used to approaching people and keeping an easy way to leave conversations when you want out. By getting used to the act of approaching, it will be much easier when you see girls who are obviously interested in you. You can read more about it here.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-03-16T02:58:49+00:00

You are just not horny enough. If you were horny enough you'd find a way to get over your shyness.

Lady_Cloud0579 · 2022-03-16T04:02:18+00:00

Stop thinking about so many things you just get confused and in the end you don’t make any moves. But if someone flirts you and you know that some girl has BOYFRIEND you stay away please do not get into conflicts or that the boyfriend of any of them misinterpret you and in my opinion a good smile and try to make a compliment to meet someone is always well received.

-Invite for a drink and talk about who you came to the party with and what would you like to do after it’s over?

Because you’d love to spend time with her without all that noise around.

BLUE-M30 · 2022-03-16T04:55:30+00:00

this sounds like bad advice but just be open about everything, let these girls know all that and who you are, truely, you cant fake anything and if you try to act like you are some big bad cool guy but arent making the moves they will think you just dont like them, rather, you let them know you are shy they will understand why you arent making the moves every other guy makes. think about how we here all support you and want to help, girls are human just like guys! baby steps! dont try to sprint when you cant even crawl you know?

gangweedsavedme · 2022-03-16T08:28:04+00:00

Engage!

DoctorForesight · 2022-03-16T08:29:37+00:00

You've got it better than me. Similar in a lot of ways, but I don't get that much female attention

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-03-16T08:32:17+00:00

It's just like learning how to ride a bike. For the first time you always fall of and then you get better and better overtime till you can do it effortlessly. Same thing with girls. If you haven't approached them or just a few times and you don't know how to it certainly will be cringe but if you doing more and more with the right things you gonna gett better at it too

2022-03-16T11:04:17+00:00

Some guys getting numbers, Some guys getting dates, Some guys getting sex, Some guys in relationships, Some guys pulling off cold approaches, Some guys getting eye contacts, some guys being funny, some guys having good convo......but when you see them here on this subreddit you see that they are still not happy. This only because that happiness is not internal but being based on the external factors which are bound to alter and subsequently manipulate your state of mind at their own will.

briefbrisket · 2022-03-16T14:47:13+00:00

Only way to really learn is by approaching as many girls as you can. Expect to get rejected a lot, but learn what works. If you are really good looking you don’t have to say that much. Just a quick little snip like “you look like trouble” with big grin on you’re face and strong eye contact, and they’ll start talking if they’re into you. All you have to do then is keep the convo going, and escalate. But approaching them is half the battle in my opinion.

marf_lefogg · 2022-03-16T15:08:56+00:00

Think about why you hate talking to people. Chances are you’re not comfortable with who you are and don’t want to expose yourself to anyone that can hurt your ego. It’s very easy and trendy to call yourself antisocial. You have to make a game out of it. Really easy way to start that I used: go to a busy bar and just say excuse me to get up there or ask a girl to pass you your drink out of reach. Build on those small wins but don’t jump too far ahead. Do that until you think it’s stupid easy and then you will naturally push yourself for more. When you first went to the gym you didn’t do the sets and reps you do now. You grew your workout after it became to easy. I’m not talking down to you in any way. This is what worked for me.

SpaceDev001 · 2022-03-16T17:27:35+00:00

You need to want the opposite of what you want. To get sex, you need to not want sex.

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-03-16T18:10:22+00:00

Putting in sick volume in daygame is the best way to improve your dating life as an average male.

Athena_2020 · 2022-03-17T02:44:36+00:00

Your post made me think about my brother. He has always been the kind of person to captivate peoples attention. Guys always want to be his friend or hang out with him, women want to date him or be liked by him. I think the way he does it is by being himself. Charming, social, (flirtatious with women) and he tells me that he just doesn't give a rats ass what people think about him, so I guess he just exudes a confident energy this way. Idk, it always surprises me the amount of attention he gets when we go out. I'm more of an introvert. I'm not shy, but I like to keep my circles small lol.

me_milesheller · 2022-03-19T17:16:53+00:00

It happened to me that I realized that I approached girls just to reject them. It was a very slow but important part of the process of my grief because I also had a relationship of 6y and the way it ended made me a resentful guy with girls. So whatever advance I had with a girl it ended up messed up by me because of my unconscious actions. I'm still learning.

The main question for me to make you is... Why do you want to approach em? Maybe there's nothing wrong with you. In fact... Maybe a lot of us guys here reading about seduction isn't what we need. We need peace about ourselves first. We need inner answers.

Title	Need help Improving my game. Kinda shy?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	78
Comments	72
Date	March 16, 2022 2:15 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tf6uov/need_help_improving_my_game_kinda_shy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-help-improving-my-game-kinda-shy.1264477 https://theredarchive.com/post/1264477

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