Virgin at 24

Agreable_Actuator84 · 2021-06-30T13:22:16+00:00

Based on the limited information you have given, no one. Could ever possibly say anything to help you. It’s too difficult to know where the hang up is. So what books on game/seduction/self improvement have your already read, what have you learned and how have you already implemented this lessons? What are your lifts like? Body fat? What type of clothing do you wear etc?

If it’s just social anxiety and fear of escalation you have to face that dragon. Take dancing lesson, join toastmasters, take an improv class, take bjj classes, practice talking to everyone you can to improve social skills, go to parties abs be genuinely interested in other people. Then when picking up or escalating, know you will feel awkward but go ahead and do your best to move the relationship forward.

You have millions of years of evolution behind you. You instinctively know what to do - you are just afraid. Face your dragon.

grekt99 · 2021-06-30T14:14:45+00:00

Laughs at 27

2021-06-30T16:00:45+00:00

Bruh.. if what you say is true you are a literal embodiment of Chad. Only thing I think you have to look at is “are you escalating?”

Unidentified-Being · 2021-06-30T15:01:05+00:00

Do you have your finances in order? What about a heathy body? If so, then force yourself to speak to women.

bryann_99 · 2021-06-30T20:02:11+00:00

It sounds like an anxiety issue. You said you have been close various times, so I don't think it is your game. Maybe you can get professional help? A psychologist to work on your anxiety.

Remember, there's no shame in being a virgin. When people, including women, used to ask me, I answered that I was a virgin.

Sex isn't that great. It is not some mystical plessure. It is what it is. I began learning about this stuff to lose my virginity, too, so I think I understand the feeling, but really, it isn't that great. Yes, it is good, it can be very good, but it can also be bad and boring and gross. It depends.

Try not to worry about what other people say. This is not a race, and as long as you are trying, you are not missing out.

Also, don't set your standard for women too high, in regards to physical attractiveness, I found that helps a lot.

scrotron · 2021-06-30T18:41:18+00:00

It sounds like you don’t try, and that you should try.

I have a really different approach to life, as I’ve had some weird life experiences that taught me it’s better to fail than to not try. So, I’ve become comfortable recognizing that being bad at something is part of the process of growth.

You said you don’t take yourself too seriously, so my curiosity is how has this become a situation for you? Performance anxiety? So what? If you don’t take yourself seriously, just recognize that all social interactions positive or negative are pretty much expendable and go try. If someone asks you, “why’d you try to talk to that girl?” You can say, “last I checked humanity exists because a man and a woman were attracted to each other…” It’s a normal thing. Contemporary society would have you believe it’s a sin, or a weak shortcoming of a man to be attracted to a woman. No it isn’t. It is a strength of mine to want to be a strong man for a woman. With this being said, I do have some ideas.

My advice would be to develop charisma and throw yourself into the flames. I’ve read Dale Carnegie, Leil Lowndes, and Neil Strauss and I’m familiar with Todd V’s free material, so a lot of what I am saying is paraphrased from what I’ve learned from these resources.

Slowly desensitize yourself to women, if you can’t just “throw yourself into the flames.” Go to a park or store and start saying hey or what’s up to every person you see. After you’re confident and done a few dozen of those, start asking people an impersonal question like the weather or something in your immediate vicinity. When this last step feels natural, start focusing this on women, as in only talk to attractive women. I’m assuming this will cause your heart rate to elevate. When you feel confident in the last step, start making platonic conversation with women (or to whomever you are attracted). Then you can try just giving a compliment and leaving, or carrying on real conversation.

I feel like once you are at the last step and you’ve had mostly positive social interactions, you should be comfortable enough to pop some more romantic-premised openers on women. Try something generic, and honest: “You seem X (interesting, cute… whatever), and I wanted to introduce myself. I’m X…?” If you aren’t completely socially inept, you’ll make conversation like you do with your mom, or cat, or boys, or homies, or therapist.

Now you are in the door. When you’re confident opening, I’d say next you want to start to focusing on closing. Closing as in closing in on your goals. Have a goal in mind: take her to coffee/smoothie immediately, get a number, get a date for later, etc. After you’ve opened, always move towards your goal.

If you’ve done all of this but are noticing that girls don’t show to dates or ghost, or just have other plans, then you probably haven’t established premise. This should be your next focal point. In your interactions, let her know why you’re there (hopefully not for something platonic). Guys -- typically simpy, scared or beta guys (no shame) -- hate establishing premise and want to believe women will initiate. Nope, they will not. Also, interactions without this type of premise are empirically worthless you will come to find -- even in establishing friendships. I find when I talk about this with a few of my single friends, they want to avoid this step like the plague. They all end up without numbers, girls or value or whatever. I believe many women assume that you are coming to talk to them because you’re attracted to them. By hiding this fact, you look creepy or scared. Both are unattractive qualities. Men with honest intentions are valuable, confident, and strong on the other hand.

Final thing is to escalate. Always escalate. You can’t approach someone and say the most carnal thing on your mind. You have to start small, but somewhere on the map, and move towards your goal… One caveat, the more attractive you are, the larger your margins for error are in your game. I’m a reasonably attractive guy and I was shocked when I found out what I could get away with. A few of my less attractive friends honestly have better game because of their margins of error guiding them to what they could and could not do.

Good luck, dude. I am still (and probably will always be) a student of game. The above process has been what I have used. I won’t claim to be a master by any means, but I get more and higher quality women than most of my friends. Do enough interactions, and recycle enough material and you will find how formulaic most of your social interactions are.

quiet160 · 2021-06-30T18:53:04+00:00

Lost mine at 23 to a girl off tinder. I’m 27 now with a body count of 21 but never found a relationship. The void is still there I’m just not a virgin lol.

Unidentified-Being · 2021-06-30T13:02:26+00:00

Heyaaa :) in all honesty you don’t have to have a lot of sex for it to be a “20s experience” …. You can still have the “20s experience” by doing other things like travelling, trying new food, learning about yourself etc (those are just some examples … don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself :) and in terms of moving out if you think you’re ready then go for it … if you need a bit more time that’s fine … do everything at your own time scale :)

throwthepz · 2021-06-30T17:35:39+00:00

I had to login to my throwaway account but here it goes. You have great positive qualities, and that will for sure help you out, but the one thing I want you to think about is this. There’s plenty of people that have negative qualities (poor, unhealthy, attitude) but they still get laid, so in reality, what gives? I’m not fit but not fat either, I’m mid career and really, nothing too special about me but I can get laid here and there no problems. Yes I watch porn too, kinda lazy but not shy and extremely goofy. I live with my grandmother and it’s never been a problem, we just figure out whether it’s her house or mine, I’m 26 so it’s understandable the people have sex. You have to escalate and be confident. As much as you here this all the time let me break it down for you. It’s only awkward when you make it awkward, if you don’t give af she won’t either. “No one expects I’m a virgin or inexperienced”, and let me guess, they then know that you are until you make it a big deal or you talk about it right? So go along for the ride, let it happen and don’t overthink it. As a man, go for what you want in life and don’t put yourself down. I’ll be honest though, losing your virginity isn’t a big deal and you’ll soon realize that afterwards.

Vlasic69 · 2021-06-30T20:01:38+00:00

You have to be more honest about what you feel so that you don't experience arrhythmias. Each part of your body has a proper tempo it prefers to operate at and when they are all properly moving in order magic happens. Your worry about words comes from ego and honesty. Your body may be reacting to stimulus in a way that feels overbearing. When you or someone around lies whether accidentally or intentionally an arrhythmia can set off your nervous systems sympathetic side effectively killing the mood. You sound to me like you need education on respect.

Tyrion69Lannister · 2021-07-01T02:20:56+00:00

Bro you still live with your parents at 24 with a good career? That’s an absolute goldmine right there. All the money you make you can take home and invest. Fuck women dude... if I was in your position, I’d just continue to make my pile of gold bigger and bigger every year.

Potential-Avocado598 · 2021-07-01T05:06:49+00:00

Wear nice clothes and take a tango/salsa dancing class. Also, practice *gasp* talking to women. This takes confidence. My trick has been to write down everything that's been going well in life on a list. Internalize this list. If you get rejected, then move on. Swallow your ego since you WILL screw up at least once in the dating game. That's just the nature of it. You still have the items on your list going for you and nothing changes. You have the options of neutral and positive.

IceLessTrash2 · 2021-06-30T17:33:01+00:00

By your question I agree you are vague on details. With that here is what I can say. Take sex of the table. You are looking/hunting for sex most women can sense it. Be honest with any woman you start dating let them know you are a virgin. Women won't care, they will care more if you fumble around and hurt them on accident. Porn is not a good guide. If you are just looking to lose the V card then a PRO may be what you are looking for. I know a lot of stigmata are associated with it, but they are there. Good luck

Just1Connor · 2021-06-30T18:38:01+00:00

Get some ed pills to help with the performance anxiety, worked wonders for me

butt_y_th0 · 2021-06-30T20:03:24+00:00

There is a variety of advice being offered but here's my two cents: By the sound of it your physical appearance alone is enough to attract attention of the opposite sex, but understand that women are slightly more motivated by feelings and emotions (by that I mean how you make them feel) than how you look. They want to feel fun and romanced and we as men provide these qualities. From what I can tell this is what you think you're lacking in. To improve in these aspects, no need to obsess over techniques. Focus on refining your social skills. Build emotional intelligence by learning about how women perceive the world from them directly. Learn to be more expressive and perceptive with body language as it is more effective than verbal communication. Be confident with your decisions. There might be a point where you doubt your progress but understand that it's a learning curve, and rejections happen to everyone but it's not the end of the world. All in all still, don't give too much thought about it. There's more to life than the persuit of sex. You're a good looking person, it will come naturally.

Crosismitosis · 2021-06-30T20:39:25+00:00

You said you’ve been close before. It’s better to be honest. Not necessarily about being a virgin if youre not comfortable, but about wanting to be guided through it for your own comfort.

I personally love making an evening/day of it. Cherish their body, tease, foreplay a while before even getting it in. This way you get to learn what her body responds to. I’ll cum multiple times throughout cuz i wanna live in the moment. And women stay excited for longer than men so i can cum quick if i want, play w her body while i get excited again then rinse and repeat.

RareGeometry · 2021-06-30T23:02:31+00:00

Haha you would be great for my BFF who was a virgin until 27. She has a zillion similar insecurities and issues finding and staying in any relationship despite being a serious catch in all departments- looks, figure, hobbies/interests, skills in several departments. She’s honestly a serious 10 and that cute girl next door and does not realize it at all, we go out together (and I’m considered the “glamorous/pinup/sex kitten of our friends!) and she gets SO much attention but doesn’t notice or realize or acknowledge or understand (I’m married AF and have alway apparently been super intimidating to dudes, she lacks the intimidation factor). She has poor self worth and value when it comes to choosing partners and tends to “settle” thinking it’s “all she can afford/the only person who could like her.”

There’s something to be said for just popping your cherry and taking away the mysterious, glorified aura of sex and intimacy. Not to say it isn’t GREAT and can’t be a really spiritual and magical experience with the right person but also it shouldn’t be placed on a pedestal more than it deserves nor be a measure of your worth. There’s something to be said for experiencing a few different people to get to know yourself and what you really like and want and, more importantly, don’t like. But whatever you do, don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything magical and spectacular in your 20’s for not banging tons of chicks. Just don’t and up limiting yourself to one single person forever that doesn’t actually do much for you.

Beautiful-Original-4 · 2021-07-01T03:09:06+00:00

I’m a virgin also at 24 I’m thinking about just getting a hooker I’m not ugly I just got no game and missed all my opportunities in college I use to have women run up to me and give me their number there were several others women who would touch me playfully I had several women who would look at me and bite their tounge everyone at my college swore up and down I was fucking every women I came across even though I was virgin I even had this one English professor ask me what bitch did my homework she swore up and down another women did my homework

ramsenio · 2021-07-01T03:55:48+00:00

I just found a girl that really liked me

Pretend-Im-Funny · 2021-07-01T07:20:16+00:00

I'd suggest to move out asap, will give you more independence, feeling of freedom and could be the start of "a new life", new confidence and stuff. Being a virgin is no problem at all, most girls i know don't really care about how much experience but if the guy pays attention to what they like and makes them feel beautiful. Go for it and have fun :) ♡

trebleintrouble- · 2021-06-30T14:49:31+00:00

Not sure if you’ve dropped porn altogether but it is very worth it. You could try semen retention and it will bring to light the internal problems that are reflected in your dating life. Check out Casey Zander on youtube. There are some other great ppl but I started with him and he helped me like crazy for the first 6 months I decided I needed change in my life.

MaaChiil · 2021-06-30T16:55:51+00:00

I lost mine at 25 and by that point, I wasn’t thinking actively about sex anymore. Then it just happened one night where a woman lured me into her bed unexpectedly. It wasn’t a secret message or anything beyond acting regular, although she really did put in the effort to tell me that she had trouble reading me and I had to ask if she wanted to kiss. I think it just won’t ever not be awkward, no matter how smooth you may think you are. Embrace the insecurity!

christhen · 2021-06-30T20:47:09+00:00

Sex is overrated

ICastPunch · 2021-06-30T18:13:23+00:00

Do something good for yourself... like a goal or something you've always tried to do... as a reward pay for sex with a smoking hot prostitute. You'll feel like you deserved it and once you've done it... It won't feel like nearly as much of a big thing, you'll get more confidence... You can even ask her to teach you stuff about sex lmao after all you're paying her. You'll have more confidence and will be better with girls overall.

DakiAge · 2021-06-30T21:11:12+00:00

hire an escort lol (:

Clinton-Dix_2356 · 2021-06-30T23:06:59+00:00

How come not having a lot of sex is missing on your 20s??? You never get laid in college?

VeeVee999 · 2021-06-30T23:57:21+00:00

Very strange priorities. Seeming to lack drive, initiative, organization, and still living with parents...I don't understand why anyone would think they can get laid or a girlfriend like this.

Like someone else said...are you elevating? Because from the looks of it, it seems like stagnance. You have to work on yourself.

korisnik55 · 2021-06-30T15:14:26+00:00

Same here. The older I get the more pressure I have and that's the vicious cycle of my life. I'm just procrastinating it beacuse I'm scared of her reaction...

ouranophile · 2021-06-30T15:52:00+00:00

Im in the exact same boat except i'm much younger (16), what are we suppoused to do ?!

dracomatic · 2021-06-30T16:44:27+00:00

from how you describe yourself sounds like you should have no issues. Has a girl ever approached you? im an avg guy and lowkey shy but 5/10 the chicks initiate. im just good at closing out. maybe youre too well put together/clean and its intimidating or something i dont mean like physically maybe your tone, speech.. etc. Theres that whole thing where a lot of women will fuck a guy faster if they dont see a future with him.

justmuro · 2021-06-30T17:19:15+00:00

So I live with family and that’s never really gotten in my way. That’s just an excuse and barrier you put up in front of you. Ask yourself this. Do you really want to change? Do you reallllyyyyy want to get a girlfriend?

Out of high school I went through a lot and my first year of college I made a goal to my self. Talk to 1 person in every class. Not make friends with people. Not talk to a girl. Not flirt. Just 1 person, a casual hi how’s it going relationship. I was that bad at social interactions and that nervous but I was desperate for change.

I’m at the point where I just don’t care anymore. Like hot girl or talking to a guy I don’t see the difference. Both need to show me why I should commit any time to them. Both need to add value to my life and we need to connect.

The best advice anyone is gonna give you is don’t put anyone on a pedestal. Everyone’s human and has the same self confidence issues you do. The difference between people is how they cope and what they do about it.

vardarac · 2021-06-30T17:27:48+00:00

I was your age when I lost mine. It's honestly not a big deal, and if women actually like you they will not care that you are if you tell them. It's as simple as saying "I've never done this before" when the time comes and anyone worth your time will understand.

IceLessTrash2 · 2021-06-30T18:13:04+00:00

PRO'S are never a first choice. Not advocating it but an option. The needy part can be a challenge to overcome but it you take that pressure of yourself it will come naturally. Communicate as early as possible with whoever you are dating. Don't jump right in on a first date and just tell them but if a opening presents it self tell them. Then the dreaded question of why. Don't spout off something like " I have been waiting for the right woman." It can come off to her that she is, and that can start a deeper relationship than you or her may want. Or she can think it is a line and not belive you are a virgin. Tell her the truth but don't lay yourself open. Something like " I had some opportunities in past relationships but it never worked out. Then I just got more and more nervous about it as time went on" show openess and being self aware. You are safer that way.

Malimalata · 2021-06-30T18:52:47+00:00

Just be drunk the first time, worked for me

Or at least some sort of inebriated

justrandomguy42 · 2021-06-30T20:03:36+00:00

Get a motorcycle. Seriously, there’s no single guy with superbike on this planet. Easy fix for performance anxiety is taking pills, until you get experience and confidence. You’re welcome.

Warden18 · 2021-06-30T20:38:04+00:00

I know this isn't helpful... But I mean I was a virgin until I was 24. I don't think it's that weird. I also loved with my parents until I was 30. Saved up a decent amount of money. That being said, moving up would have improved my chances a decent amount... People are too judgemental.

jraubo24 · 2021-06-30T20:49:02+00:00

You are only 24 (same age as me) we are so fucking young don’t over think it.
Make sure you are groomed - and putting yourself out there, sports leagues, bars, concerts and OLD! Basically make sure you are giving yourself a chance for success. Hire a professional to take photos it’s a cost but worth it - also you can do the same for wardrobe - or go on TikTok and follow one of the many people who help with outfits…my go to outfit is vans or another low top shoe 5inch - 7inch baggies or board shorts and Patagonia - Carhart up top. Simple, fits my body and athletic build.
Don’t give up hope or get desperate, also if you get in the position I wouldn’t tell a girl, I would just go for it and if you suck you suck… I wouldn’t ask a girl how many people they have slept with, no need for them to know your a virgin.

Cheers

flyinshorty · 2021-06-30T21:08:21+00:00

Throw the cargo pants away, get some joggers or chinos, they’re tighter fitting, comfortable, and attractive. Get a cargo-colored pair or a gingerbread colored pair.

Also try to make sure your t-shirts are not too loose or too tight. Enough to accentuate your shoulders and rest of your body. Be confident in yourself but don’t try to be a douche and act like you know more than you do. Don’t make up false promises of yourself and then panic when it’s time to prove yourself.

Never lie, be honest, be funny, be confident. Smile a lot when you talk to women, playful physical contact, And flirt.

Brysky777 · 2021-06-30T22:03:44+00:00

I think the deal is to be very straightforward. Don’t speak a high game and set yourself up. Do the opposite approach. But you have to do it with someone that is looking for a relationship. You can just do it on the a limb, unless you pay for it. Tell them you are a virgin and just be honest. Tell them to help guide you, because it is true. Some girls might really dig that. I did that and lost my virginity.

Cpt-Dreamer · 2021-06-30T22:23:33+00:00

I’m at 24 too. 25 later this year.

h2danny9 · 2021-06-30T22:38:07+00:00

Dont worry I'm still a virgin to at 23

thediggestbick2 · 2021-06-30T22:50:24+00:00

24 is too young my boy.

2021-06-30T23:27:32+00:00

21 virgin and depressed

esko918 · 2021-06-30T23:44:41+00:00

Just pay for it manc irs not a big deal. Find a book we

esko918 · 2021-06-30T23:44:48+00:00

Find a pro

KyroLime · 2021-07-01T00:13:08+00:00

Sounds like the way I’m heading honestly Because I relate but I’m more of a younger age.

pman1013000 · 2021-07-01T00:17:39+00:00

Honestly, I’d pay for a dating coach, get pointers/lessons.

weegee · 2021-07-01T01:38:50+00:00

Dude I was a virgin until I was 31. Don’t sweat it. Better to wait until you’re super passionate about the girl you’re jumping in to bed with that having random sex with some girl you just met but don’t have any real feelings for. I don’t regret waiting at all.

2021-07-01T01:41:58+00:00

I am 33 indian. In my country there was no pressure to lose your virginity pre marriage. Assuming you are from America, my advice to you will be to continue to live your life and try to improve on yourself especially on the aspects that will make you genuinely happy. Focus on issues that are in your control, the way you look is out of your control. So don't stress on that.

Ineedanswers6789 · 2021-07-01T02:04:12+00:00

At this point I hate to say it but if it your actually trying to get it and it hasn’t happened already I would suggest you book an escort and get it over with.

Blackspidey23 · 2021-07-01T02:16:58+00:00

Pffts try being 25 going on 26 and still being a virgin and I'm honestly not trying to stay a virgin....guess women just don't find me attractive

tablepancake · 2021-07-01T02:51:57+00:00

Get a cheap rental apartment, get a bottle of $7 wine, get on hinge and invite a dozen 5’s over for a home cooked dinner. One of them will root you

babalar7766 · 2021-07-01T03:26:13+00:00

you have 2 options: 1.find a girl you think is also a virgin. 2.prostitutes. i strongly recommend the 1st. the more you postpone you keep entertaining the fantasy of sex

2021-07-01T05:01:33+00:00

Id say bust a nut before going there

Remember that you're the man

Have you ever done mental exercises to work on this social issue. Shadow work, therapy, hallucinogenics, meditation, religious practices, etc?? This sex issue may not be over come if there's a bigger issue you need to overcome. Look inwards and really try to build a relationship with this issue.

Treat yourself with compassion, especially around these times.

Go with the flow.

Those are all my tips.lol take what you will. Best of luck!!

chkmcnugge6 · 2021-07-01T05:23:59+00:00

So do you think youre confident or not? Especially in social situations

MisterShogunate · 2021-07-01T09:35:06+00:00

Your issue is literally just logistics and execution. You need to have a realistic place for sex to happen at any time. I've had sex in the back of my car, at the girls place, or even at a relative/friends place. It doesn't matter if you live with you parents, but you need to have a plan as to how you will make it happen it in a certain area. For example, when I had sex in my car, it was on the second date and I decided to park in the secluded area of the park. Additionally, I enticed her to hang out in the back seat. I knew sex wouldn't happen unless those two conditions were met, no people around and at the back seat. Also you want to make sure there is no friction towards sex. For example, have a your condom easy to tear (nip the wrapper a bit because it gets difficult to open when your hands are all slippery from fingering and shit. I literally missed an opportunity from this) or wearing joggers instead of denim so it's quicker to remove, etc.

Title	Virgin at 24
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	286
Comments	124
Date	June 30, 2021 12:56 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/oawrqp/virgin_at_24/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/virgin-at-24.1281487 https://theredarchive.com/post/1281487

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