This needs to happen. Call vs. Texting. Pros and cons of each

ATribeCalledGreg · 2012-12-07T04:07:40+00:00

I think the biggest issue in calling vs. texting is age. There is the 20 and below crowd that grew up with texting, the 30 and over crowd that didn't, and us weirdos in the middle.

I'm 22 and excluding my parents, I only keep in contact with one friend via phone call. Even that relationship is more 50/50 texting vs. calling. So what I'm saying is, if you're more towards middle aged where texting is something that was introduced to you later in your life (and the women you're targeting) calling should be used more. But if you're a part of the younger generation that has now grown up with texting, calling may be a little more taboo.

I generally don't call girls that I haven't been on a date with yet. To me, it just seems more personal. When I'm just texting a girl, I can be doing whatever. But when I call, I'm halting my life to have this conversation with her.

That being said, in general texting is mainly to touch base and make plans, not have conversations. Some humor and all storytelling is completely lost in text message (you aren't going to type a long story and risk the stigma of being the guy who "blew up her phone" when you can tell the same anecdote with your voice in 2 minutes) and those things are essential to good conversation for me anyway.

skgoa · 2012-12-07T05:15:29+00:00

Literally the only people I have phone conversations with are my girlfriend and parents. Why would you call a girl you're just trying to plan a date with? Save the conversation for the date, work out logistics via text. (I'm 20)

lingual_panda · 2012-12-07T03:46:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

corkysaintclaire · 2012-12-07T03:06:25+00:00

I've been told in the past that calling is better and that chicks dig the directness, but more recently I've experienced that texting isn't so bad so long as you've expressed interest in person before. And I think some girls get thrown off by calling and think it's too forward if you haven't hung out yet, but I'm in high school and high school girls are fucking weird. I'm hoping flirting is more direct in college because it'd make shit a whole lot easier.

WarriorHawk · 2012-12-07T04:24:08+00:00

While I'm calling I'm able to change the pitch of my voice and use tone to get a message across. The interaction is brief and gets the business over with.

Whereas with texting I'm able to do so at my own leisure, and it allows me to think of my response. It is also a lot easier to send a mass message or question over text than it is to call up each individual I wish to talk to.

I like both. Both's good.

PuempelsPurpose · 2012-12-07T04:03:24+00:00

I only call. Texting sucks. I don't like to waste my time with it. There are definite benefits - more calculated, more easily contrived, less reaction time... basically if you are still following seduction recipes, texting is easier, but if you have inner game down pat and are confident with yourself calling is much better. Gets shit figured out and you don't need to sit there waiting and calculating and considering and all that other B.S that I'm too busy for.

Skullduggering · 2012-12-07T05:20:22+00:00

I personally prefer to call or be called for the initial asking. The person I am seeing now I called to ask out for coffee, and got a voicemail box that wasn't set up yet. THEN I texted to relieve him of the stress of having to call back.

I would say that for small planning and such now we text, but he will occasionally call me, and I really like it! It's kind of affirming, and more personal. As a result I will also call him from time to time, and he seems happy to hear from me.

There's pros to both, and I think a good balance between the two is a great thing.

PUAlurker · 2012-12-07T05:32:45+00:00

I pretty much exclusively text, and use it pretty much only as a method for setting up a future meet, however (as others have said) the age group that I'm targeting are generally more comfortable with texting.

So, I'm assuming that the goal is to convert a #-close into a Day 2.

Pro's of texting (over calling)

You have plenty of time to think about and edit your message prior to sending.
You can be brief and to the point, by not giving much away she'll be more intrigued and want to meet you. I feel with a call it is easy to slip into a conversation, which can destroy the element of mystery, which is useful for getting to a Day 2.
Works better with a younger demographic (say 25 and under).

Con's of texting

Joking/subtle flirting becomes more difficult, because so much of this relies on vocal inflection...thus it's generally best to play it safe and not include too much of this stuff.
She may not reply/reply with a one-word answer, thus ending the interaction early.
Others have pointed out, not as good a technique with an older demographic.

2012-12-07T08:09:29+00:00

I've noticed that texting will generally be the way to go and if you want to call her (assuming you've gotten to know each other at least a little already) you can just ask if it's okay to call her at that moment

Zhai · 2012-12-07T12:30:22+00:00

I don't call since over the phone I sound like pregnant suricate defending its nest from cobra.

frogma · 2012-12-07T18:05:16+00:00

Just a list of pros and cons here:

Calling is immediate, she'll feel more obligated to answer the phone, it's usually more direct/bold/personal, you can have an actual conversation, nothing is ambiguous, etc.

Calling might also be too immediate. If she doesn't answer, you either need to leave a message, or just hang up the phone (so it shows her a missed call). She might also consider it too personal, especially if you only briefly met once and don't have some sort of history with her. Like others have said, the younger generation tends to focus more on texting.

For texting, it's more casual. You can text at any time. Assuming she texts back (and she's attracted), the fact that she has to wait for your text will probably build some anticipation/attraction. Many people can't have a convo over the phone while they're working or in class, but they're usually able to text.

The cons are that she likely feels less obligated to respond; if she doesn't respond, then you probably have to wait a certain amount of time before sending a second text. If you do it too often, you might make yourself look a bit desperate/needy. It's not immediate (unless she responds immediately), so it can't be used when you're trying to plan a last-minute party/hangout (unless you're both on the same page).

For me, I generally prefer texting because of how casual it is. When I was a pre-teen/teen, That's when I'd have 3-hour-long phone convos with girls, and those are usually lame as fuck. Whether you choose to predominantly call or text, I recommend that you don't do it too often, and that each convo should only consist of a handful of back-and-forth comments -- with a new girl especially, your main goal should be to set up a date/hangout, not to have some meaningless banter when you could be doing it in-person.

Whichever method you choose to focus on, neither of them are as direct or as personal as talking in-person, meaning it's almost literally impossible to build attraction the same way. IMO, the longer you spend doing either, the likelier you are to actually be losing attraction (unless you're having some phone sex or sexting).

waterskier2007 · 2012-12-07T20:18:53+00:00

I have created a google form to collect responses for this. It is just for fun. I included age, and preferred method of communication. Please take 3 seconds and do it if you feel so inclined

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dEVhUDZ4YkRHRVFNcS1QZnVoMDdsNkE6MQ#gid=0

SmoothAndCreamy · 2012-12-07T04:49:50+00:00

Do both. Text her ask her what she's up to. When she responds immediately call her. I like doing this. It catches them off guard, makes sure they are in a phone conversation mood, and can even ensure that she's available to talk.

yokhai · 2012-12-07T14:49:40+00:00

Im gonna caps lock here not out of anger at you OP specifically, but general frustration and stress relief

DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER STOP MAKING DUMBASS POSTS LIKE THIS!

jfentonnn · 2012-12-07T07:11:06+00:00

I always call. Hardly anyone calls anymore.

Title	This needs to happen. Call vs. Texting. Pros and cons of each
Author	dontgiveadamn
Upvotes	26
Comments	45
Date	December 7, 2012 2:41 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/14f6x7/this_needs_to_happen_call_vs_texting_pros_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/this-needs-to-happen-call-vs-texting-pros-and-cons.1289321 https://theredarchive.com/post/1289321

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