I read a lot of field reports here on seddit, and one thing I commonly hear guys say in the comments is that they often hesitate to escalate with women because they're not sure where they stand. I'd like to take this opportunity to bring up something which I've observed in my two or so years of practicing seduction - something which helped my pickup skills tremendously.
Take a moment and ask yourself if you've ever been in this situation: you meet a girl in public and open her (maybe at a bookstore or a grocery market). She smiles and doesn't say much, but she's still standing there. Maybe you're a novice and still trying to get a read on her, but she's not throwing out any obvious signals of interest - no hair flips, no nervous movements, no lip biting, nothing.
The thing is, she's still standing there. Maybe she looks slightly preoccupied, fiddling with whatever is in front of her. But she's there, and not putting any more or less distance between you. That right there is a signal of interest, and it is a behaviour I've come to call the Signal of Opportunity.
When you're still a novice at pickup, you'll look for indicators of interest before proceeding, and I agree with this practice in the beginning. Alot of guys argue that beginners should ignore IOIs and "assume attraction" and I agree with this too, but I think there's a lot of value in being able to quickly read, recognize, and internalize the signals women use to communicate interest. Assuming attraction is a useful tool, but only for certain circumstances. When you're a novice, it's good to understand the social landscape.
Well, sometimes women don't gift wrap their interest in an easily recognizable present. Sometimes you have to understand, at the fundamental level, what humans are doing.
Here's an example from my life today which illustrates this principle:
I was out at my favourite running trail earlier this afternoon when I ran past an attractive young brunette who was standing perfectly still in the middle of the trail. I gave her an affirmative nod as I ran past - she smiled ever so slightly and quickly lowered her eyes when we made mutual eye contact. I thought nothing of it and ran on.
A quarter of a mile down the trail, I slowed to a brisk walk to catch my breath, and a few seconds later, the brunette came blazing past me, only to slow herself to a brisk walk about 10 metres in front of me. And there she remained.
Now, it doesn't seem like much, a woman just running past and slowing down. But you have to understand the subtext.
Attractive women get hit on throughout the day. A LOT. And they've develop a lot of tools for filtering guys. Bitch shields, shit testing, you know all the terms and techniques. They go out armed to the teeth and ready to keep annoying men at bay so they can enjoy their day in relative peace.
So if a hot girl spends all of her time shooting down incoming guys who don't have the chops to survive her barrage, what does it say when she momentarily lowers her defenses in your vicinity?
That's the Signal of Opportunity.
She's telling you that you're cleared to land, that she WANTS you to bug her so she can see what you're all about. All you've got to do is fly up and say something or, if you've already opened her, it's a signal to escalate by getting closer or initiating kino.
Remember, people are always moving towards the interesting parts of their day. Getting home to relax, heading out to grab drinks with friends, etc. So when a girl appears to be standing still longer than would seem normal, odds are there's something interesting nearby. And odds are, that interesting something is YOU.
Having recognized the girl's signal of opportunity, I immediately opened her. I came up to her left side and said "Oh hell no girl, you did NOT just run past me. We're settling this right now." She was smiling big the moment I made a sound, and she was laughing after I'd issued my challenge. We ended up racing back together, with me playfully running her off the trail a few times by crowding her space (kino escalation and negging). When we made it back to the parking lot, we made out and exchanged numbers.
Keep it in mind, fellas. If she's not in any hurry to move away, her silence can be a good thing. Take a chance and go for it.
[–]bentleymazerati 45 points46 points47 points (27 children) | Copy Link
[–]HumanSockPuppet[S] 36 points37 points38 points (25 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]Formula7 28 points29 points30 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 63 points64 points65 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]same_vans 2 points3 points4 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]FountainsOfFluids 9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheCuriousDude -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheCuriousDude 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HumanSockPuppet[S] 14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]caesarfecit 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]OliverSchist 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tremaparagon 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]OliverSchist 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MajorKirrahe 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]XXCUPZ 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]takemylife 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]orangesrkay 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Smedly25 22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]imiiiiik 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lessadessa 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pirated-ambition 8 points9 points10 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 26 points27 points28 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]pirated-ambition 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sword11 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points-3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Edgar_Allan_Rich 21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sword11 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]OnlyNorton 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jizzit 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]vahidy -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]-colors -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link