I love this seduction stuff, but I'm a girl, so I don't know how much of it I can really use. Are there any seduction/PUA resources for girls?

djadvance22 · 2010-06-21T06:01:36+00:00

Really lame advice so far.

There are several sites that seem relatively good for women, but unfortunately the ones I know of are all blogs - forums are a lot better. There is a "Playettes" section on mASF but as far as I can tell it's a ghost town, and the few women there aren't great anyway.

The best advice I can give to you is that the key to attract anyone, whether you're a guy or girl attracting a friend or lover or business partner, is to be awesome. There are thousands of different ways to be awesome, through which several common threads lie:

Have interests you are passionate about and are highly skilled at.
Aim to give some of your happiness to the people around you everywhere in your life.

Out of these simple principles fall another three key traits: non-neediness, humor/positivity, and genuineness.

As everyone who gets into the community eventually realizes, there are routines and tricks that work, but the best and most fulfilling way to get good at attracting the opposite sex is to become high status by actually being amazing. And while there are regrettably few good dating resources for girls, there is a plethora of life improvement resources. Steve Pavlina's forum is a great place to start. Look up good posture/body language/tonality, how to eat healthy and exercise right, how to be funnier, and work on your passion and skill. If you can perfect those things, everything will slowly fall into place.

Some extra advice: write your own book on getting guys. Record all the good snippets you see here and on guys' forums and self improvement sites in one place, and write down all the realizations and epiphanies you get along the way.

Some questions: how far have you come already/how good are you now? What are your major sticking points?

SkyMarshal · 2010-06-21T06:17:39+00:00

Edit: Lots of bad advice so far. The problem women face is that they're not after just any guy, they want to seduce the Johnny Depp's of the world.

But why would a guy like that, who could have (and probably has had) any woman he wants without even trying, go for seducingguys or some other non-famous non-sugarmama everygirl?

Showing off her female body parts and 'proposing sex' aren't gonna cut it there, considering it's the exact same thing a million other girls have done before, and which Mr. Depp has likely taken advantage of till bored with it all.

Female seduction methods are intended get girls the HG 9's and 10's, just as male seduction methods are aimed at the HB 9's and 10's.

The female Mystery/Neil Strauss is Arden Leigh, her seduction forum is Sirens Seduction.

The old fashioned version is Mimi Tanner, though I can't figure out which website is her main one. Hardtoget.com is one of them.

Like you, I'm interested in the other side's stuff. :)

rubygeek · 2010-06-21T10:46:08+00:00

It really does work more or less just the same.

I've had a girl game me with what was pretty much by-the-book game - you could've switched the genders up and posted a field report written by her on any PUA site and everyone would think it was a guy doing it. Now, I noticed very quickly what she was doing, and found it hilarious (in a good way - I was in awe, she was good), but from what I gather she ran game this way pretty much whenever she wanted a guy.

She was bi, so from what I understand she'd picked up that style of game because it worked on girls and that it work on guys too was just a bonus. Every single little step was stuff I've seen on seduction forums, down to the number exchange, venue changes, time bridge, push-pull.

First thing in any case is approach, approach, approach. DO NOT ASSUME GUYS GET IT WHEN GIRLS TRY TO FLIRT. Most cases guys will be totally oblivious, and even if they're not chances are they'll be too scared to act. Really. I've shared the story before about how I just kept on ignoring blatant IOI's (lots of eye contact) from some girl - I don't even remember how I rationalized it to myself at the time - until a group of five girls including the girl in question danced two metres in a straight line across the dance floor towards me, rotated 180 degrees (placing the girl right in front of me) before the rest of the group danced a metre or so to the side, leaving the girl in front of me. It took that blatant a move to alert me, despite the fact that I was out there to practice game... A typical guy is about as observant as a brick.

And look around seddit. See how many of the guys here are battling approach anxiety. Now, consider that people here are motivated to fix things. Your average guy's solution is to get drunk and hope that overcomes their inhibitions. You presumably want to be the one choosing, not get chosen by some slobbering drunk at the end of the evening.

Not that you need to go up to a guy and pull some very direct opener, but approach.

I was out Saturday, and one thing that strikes me is that could work well for a girl if you're worried about approaching, is this: Get near a guy you want, wait for someone to approach you (if nobody does, you just smile or give eye contact too long...) then tell the guy that approaches you that you have a boyfriend, loud enough for your target to hear. Point to your target and claw him in. If he doesn't catch on right away, just whisper to him that you'd be grateful if he'd play your boyfriend.

You've established pre-selection / value (you're being approached enough to need to be "rescue"), gotten kino going, and qualified him and played to his pride (he's your knight in shining armour) and gotten a piece of roleplay going in one swift move.

Unless the guy is a complete loser he ought to play into that role and try to get to know you pretty quickly...

This pretty much happened to me on Saturday, and I seem to regularly be the "fake boyfriend" these days. Works for me, and it sets a frame that's very easy to work whether or not it was predetermined on either side - you already have "permission" to escalate relentlessly because you're not doing anything a couple wouldn't do - you're "just playing a role".

never_phear_for_phoe · 2010-06-21T05:11:21+00:00

Yes.

Propose sex.

intjpua · 2010-06-21T18:40:59+00:00

A lot of seduction stuff for guys will definitely work for women (and I've replied with some advice in a reply to one of your comments in this thread). But, there is a big caveat you need to understand: If you are significantly overweight, your best use of time would be to correct that problem*. I'm not suggesting that you, specifically, are overweight, but a lot of women who have significant trouble with men could stand to lose a few pounds.

This is probably true for men, too, though since fitness is not our subject here, we don't talk much about it, and we otherwise ignore the appearance aspect beyond saying, "Be well groomed, clean, dress well and appropriately for your tribe, and smell nice." Being significantly (more than ~20 lbs) overweight will automatically reduce your pool of options down to a very small number of men, and the men who have their pick of women will pretty much never choose a big girl, which means your pool of options is reduced to the remainders...the men no skinny girl would take. I know this is really harsh, and it is a generalization, but it's accurate enough to make it worth acting on.

*-How to lose weight:

Eat better, not necessarily less. When you eat high fiber, high protein, low sugar foods, you will naturally consume far fewer calories. You don't generally need to avoid fat, unless you have a sour cream addiction or something, but simple carbs, like sugars, should be avoided.
Lift weights. Lift heavy freeweights, so heavy you can only lift them three-five times in a set, for twenty minutes every other day. You can buy a weight set and bench for about $150, if you have room for it, or you can join a gym if you don't. If you go to the gym, you can ask guys in the free weights room for advice; they will generally be nice and helpful to you (they're a little surly with other guys, but they tend to be nice to girls who are making an effort with weights). Don't think the weights are optional; they aren't. Cardio is what burns the fat, but weights make the muscles bigger so they burn fat faster.
- Do intensive interval training style cardio for about 45 minutes the other days. Google "interval training" for examples. Don't plod away for hours every day on a stair stepper or bike...45 minutes of intensive interval training will be more effective, and doesn't take up your whole day, making it easier to stick to the routine.

This honestly works for everyone, no ifs, ands, or buts, and it works faster than anything you've ever tried in the past.

Horatio__Caine · 2010-06-24T00:01:50+00:00

I'm a woman involved in PUA, and I get this question a lot from fellow gals.

I'm not an expert in this department, so I'll leave it at a few observations:

What really sucks for women is that it's much harder for them to break past their appearance. They can be the sweetest girl in the world, but if they're born with an unattractive face, they're not going to command the attention of a certain segment of guys. There are much fewer limits with guys, partly because there's less agreement on what constitutes "attractive" when it comes to women judging men.
It's hard to command a guy's attention if you're just interested in making out and favors but nothing else. Guys usually want at least one of sex or commitment. They'd be okay with not being a girlfriend if you were putting out. They'd be (more) okay with you not putting out if you were their girlfriend. Neither means you're going to have a rough go of it.
The #1 rule is demonstrate high value. For a woman, that means you need to have both other attractive women around you. You need to be looking like you have a good time. Don't make the first move, but appear open enough that a guy will be willing to come over and chat you up.

impotent_rage · 2010-06-28T03:44:08+00:00

They say that a guy can tell within three seconds, whether or not he wants to sleep with you. So the way I figure is, there's not much you can do after those first three seconds, and very little game can be performed in three seconds or less. Female game pretty much means improving your appearance. Fortunately there's usually a lot that a girl can do with her appearance.

Disclaimer = I'm a girl

intjpua · 2010-06-21T05:54:40+00:00

To be honest, there probably isn't much material out there for girls, probably because there doesn't need to be. How hard is it to convey interest with a guy? Flirt, laugh at his jokes, touch him, etc., he'll most definitely get the hint you like him and then proceed to lead the interaction. It's not hard for a woman at all, is there something I'm missing?

The best advice is probably try and become a more interesting person, if you're passionate about your job, have interesting hobbies, can hold an intelligent conversation, have interests other than Twilight, shopping and partying, that puts you way above a majority of females, and guys will respect you for that.

cobocargirl · 2010-06-21T09:58:06+00:00

I'm with you! Thanks for starting this thread, it is exactly what I was looking for.

Lightfiend · 2010-06-21T14:54:10+00:00

Maybe this is a stupid idea, but, instead of discussing tactics or strategy on how "to get guys interested in you," why not first ask yourself, "Do I consider myself an interesting person? What are my hobbies? Do I appreciate meaningful and intelligent conversation? Do I have long-term goals and values? Do I bring out the best in others? What do I offer guys besides flirting and sex?"

There is more to attraction and positive relationships than just going to the bar, downing a few drinks, and grinding on some guy. If you are just looking for sex, it works, but eventually you are going to want something more satisfying...something with more depth. This means first building depth to your own personality by expanding your tastes, seeking new things, and growing more consciously as a person.

mynewname · 2010-06-21T15:38:29+00:00

Be beautiful. Men are incredibly superficial. However, "beautiful" isn't an immutable quality you either have or don't; how you dress, apply makeup, do your hair, etc... can make huge differences.

Other than that, just be approachable, friendly, energeticm and playful. I have a few female friends who excel at this quite naturally. They are excited to go along with whatever fun comes up.

Also, a big help to you would be learning KINO, conversational non-sexual touching of guys you're interested in. A quick search should turn up more than enough on the topic.

guriboysf · 2010-06-28T06:02:09+00:00

Average guy here. Here are a few of my suggestions.

Be genuinely interested in other people's activities.
Be generous at handing out compliments, and gracious in receiving them.
Be funny. That includes being able to laugh at yourself.
Greet people with enthusiasm.

2010-07-07T18:45:12+00:00

Sex and the Single Girl. Helen Gurley Brown.

You're welcome.

WhiteTiger10 · 2010-07-07T22:51:45+00:00

I'm sorry seducingguys but we are pretty unchallenging as a whole, stupider than dogs. There are a couple cool guys though.

2010-06-21T05:22:48+00:00

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impotent_rage · 2010-06-21T08:29:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Sublomino · 2010-06-21T06:33:56+00:00

My opinion is that all the advice is going to be the same whether male or female. The main difference is going to be in the attraction phase. Men look for different characteristics in women than women look for in men. A lot of times it just comes down to personal preference, and that goes both ways. Men will be attracted to your physical assets, in general. What we're basically looking for, subconsciously, is evidence that you will be able to carry a child to birth, survive childbearing, and be a fit mother. That's why what your body looks like gets so much scrutiny -- it's not about you, it's just about is there a good chance that you can conceive and raise a healthy child. With that in mind, just take good care of your body and your health. A little bit of fat is excellent! That layer of subcutaneous fat is so sexy because it increases your chance of survival when you're with a child and food is scarce.

Other than that, I think it's all pretty much the same. You have to work just as hard on your body as men have to work on their character. We also like character in women, just like women like their men with good bodies. But, the preference is skewed in opposite directions for each.

One other difference might be that there are certain inner-game issues specific to women. But if we're mainly talking about self-esteem and being afraid of failure and things like that, it's all going to be the same. Most of outer game should be the same too: kino-escalation, playfulness and teasing, building trust and comfort, mutual seduction.

2010-06-21T13:20:36+00:00

Go out a ton to increase your social skills.

mturnernz · 2010-06-21T05:02:42+00:00

Boobs.

Make eye contact. Smile. Talk.

That's what I usually do and it works okay.

joazito · 2010-06-21T09:49:19+00:00

Watch VH1's "Tough Love".

Tyrone_Gomez · 2010-06-21T05:48:03+00:00

ahhh. You are born with those resources: Your tits, and your pussy. Flaunt them and you will get what you want.

Casually · 2010-06-21T15:42:35+00:00

It's called Cosmo. Look for it at your local grocery store ;)

Also, the conversational techniques from Charisma Arts apply well to both men and women. Ask open ended questions, use the I perspective, reward and relate, use sexual barriers and innuendos, teasing, storytelling, etc. all very applicable to both men and women.

Also, look at companies that teach both guys and girls. Ask Romeo and David Wygant are the two that come up off the top of my head.

antioche · 2010-06-21T12:49:30+00:00

No.

Otherwise, be sexually attractive. Guys neither masturbate to your intelligence nor your personality, regardless of how superior it is relative to average.

bonkdaddy · 2010-06-29T02:21:46+00:00

how often are males sexually attracted to a woman by something other than her looks? I imagine hardly ever if at all.

totallybland · 2010-06-21T06:33:11+00:00

www.emotionaldoorway.com

DougDante · 2010-06-21T10:08:47+00:00

Not a recommendation, but I think you're looking for The Rules.

beanpudd · 2010-06-21T15:10:41+00:00

Bring on the downvotes, it has to be said.

The number of comments in this thread is easily 3 standard deviations above the mean for this sub. While the OP raises an interesting topic, you can not tell me that this is one of the most important or "worthy of discussion" topics which has EVER been posted to /seduction, but it is receiving that level of attention. Why? Because OP is a girl. AFC's jockeying for female attention, just like IRL.

So, if you are butt-hurt and feel the need to downvote, please explain with a comment. Whether you agree with my assessment or not, isn't it at least worth discussing why this post is receiving a great deal of attention while FR's are lucky to receive a dozen comments?

Title	I love this seduction stuff, but I'm a girl, so I don't know how much of it I can really use. Are there any seduction/PUA resources for girls?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	26
Comments	77
Date	June 21, 2010 4:41 AM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ch7d5/i_love_this_seduction_stuff_but_im_a_girl_so_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-love-this-seduction-stuff-but-im-a-girl-so-i.1310674 https://theredarchive.com/post/1310674

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