As has been my routine of documenting my adventures, I provide you the latest in my series: The Cock-Blocking Girlfriend. Please check out and follow my blog for more exciting adventures!

The Cock-Blocking Girlfriend

I'm finding myself in group settings a lot more than usual lately. After meeting up with a friend for wings, he invited me along to a party that he was heading to. Never wanting to turn down an opportunity to meet people, I agreed and we jumped into one car and went over.

Upon arrival, I recognized one or two faces, said hi to a few people, and then stepped back to see the group dynamics.

One technique that I often do at a house where I don't know too many people is to make broad jokes to the group, see who's receptive and start there. And that's just what I did.

There were two girls standing on the other side of a wooden table with writing on it. It appears to be tradition at this house to sign the party table.

The host, John, was brilliant. He had planned an Easter egg hunt for this party. A clever thing to do when hosting parties is to give an activity that is distracting. It causes people to bond and get to know each other without even noticing. I took notes for the next time I might host a party.

The hunt was a team scavenger hunt with clues and instead of eggs, we were finding small bottles of vodka, which we were to drink if we found them. Two people per team.

As John was explaining the rules, I caught the eyes of one of the girls standing opposite the table. I decided now would be a great opportunity to leave my mark on the party table.

She was watching as I took the marker that was lying there, and I started analyzing some of the drawings. One of the tidbits was a drawing of a three inch penis and under it the words "This is John's Penis (Actual Size)." I started to scribble down "that's really not true at all." and put an arrow pointing at the remark.

After making the mark I looked up and acted like I didn't know I was being watched. "Oh, hah, yeah, it's really not that size at all. I've seen it." I remarked.

She smiled and let out a surprisingly loud laugh. I was in.

I started to chat with her about the liquor hunt that was about to take place. "You guys don't stand a chance," I joked. "I am an expert at finding booze."

She laughed, "I don't think so. We're going to cheat. You're going down."

"You want to make a wager?"

"Ok, what will it be." She continued to smile.

"10 miniature bottles of vodka says I'll win."

"I don't have 10 miniature bottles of vodka!" She played along.

"You don't yet."

She laughed as I put my hand out to shake. That's when the friend sprung into action.

"Don't touch my friend. She's not here for you." Her friend chided with a nasty tone as she grabbed the cute girls arm away from my handshake. There was no humor in her voice. She was unimpressed with me. Worse, she was unimpressed that her friend had been so friendly. That is simply not the way of pretty women, I imagined this girl thinking, you can't flirt with this guy.

"She's not here for me? Why is she here?" I asked.

The bitchy one had an ugly look of disgust on her face as she tried to answer the simple question I posed.

"She's here for me." she replied.

"Oh.. I get it. Please go on... I've already got a half-chub just thinking about this..." In some contexts this statement wouldn't have been received well, but it was said light-heartedly and although I didn't get any laughs from the bitch friend, I did get laughs from the cute girl and a few guys who overheard the conversation.

And then we were off. The doors were opened and the battle began.

One great advantage to gaming in groups/parties is the dynamics regularly subject people to you. At a bar, if a girl is not initially impressed, you've got a count-down timer in your head trying to break through the shield or make a girl laugh. It's all or nothing, and it's difficult to re-approach despite your outcome.

Groups and parties are different. You can wear people down. Talk to people, take a break, revisit twenty minutes later. This ebb and flow of conversation engenders a feeling like you've known each other longer. Done properly, by the second or third conversation, she'll be warmed up and talk to you like one in her inner circle.

I was teamed up with my friend as we wandered the property searching for the tiny bottles of vodka, but we kept bumping into the girls. Every time we bumped into them I made sure to make a short clever comment. The goal was an evening-long play. If she saw me in my best form as I made funny comments to people in passing, it would be her understanding that this is how I am in general- not just to impress her. It's a subtle suggestion to make, but it's effective.

"Oh hey you two! Did you get the clue about Bug's Bunny's favorite phrase?" I pointed at the hint sheet for the scavenger hunt.

"Yeah, that one's easy!" the cute girl replied.

"I know! It's simple! 'I don't do Mondays!' like, duh, that was too easy." I joked. (This reference is actually from the new Looney Tunes show where Daffy doesn't know Bugs' catchphrase.)

Too Long AGAIN! Read the rest of the Cock-Blocking Girlfriend