Still a virgin at 19

alphaChompy · 2012-05-03T00:31:44+00:00

Why do people always analyze a situation based on the ends, rather than the means.

You don't become awesome because you get laid, you get laid because you're awesome.

Stop blaming society. Get your shit squared away.

LikeDat · 2012-05-02T23:05:16+00:00

The only person that can fix you, is you.

TheBattler · 2012-05-02T23:41:36+00:00

Question: Will getting laid fix all outstanding issues?

No.

You see, the reason why you even think that getting laid will solve these problems is because you associate negative connotations with being a virgin.

I'm a 22-year old virgin and I will admit my thoughts often turn to the idea of a girl coming into my life and fixing all my problems, but that's completely unrealistic, and the reason why I am still a virgin is not because I am bad with women, but because I got up at 1pm on my day off today, it's almost 5 o'clock and I'm still browsing Reddit. I am basically a keyboard jockey. That is not at all related to getting laid, that is a personal flaw and problem, but it does prevent me from getting laid.

Anyway, part of the reason why you and I are like this is because we've bought into pop culture but at the end of the day, you are what you make yourself.

"Getting laid" is fine, but you have to understand the journey you make to that destination. You could just save up a few hundred dollars and buy a decent hooker. Or you could find the nearest girl who doesn't take care of herself and probably have sex with her in a day or two if not the same day.

OR you could start going out and having a good time not just at a bar drinking but at the beach running around or at a yoga class or something and you could start approaching girls, you could start dating, you could sort out the chicks who aren't attractive to you to the ones you enjoy spending time with and get laid that way.

That last option will most likely fix your problems, but you cannot think that simply having sex once will fix them.

CunningTF · 2012-05-02T23:45:20+00:00

It might. Having sex definitely improved my confidence. Wouldnt say it made me a man over night, but it helped. The more you worry about it, the longer it takes though.

totalradass · 2012-05-03T11:16:28+00:00

It's funny I think we are all programmed to regurgitate the sex isn't important blah, blah, advice.

I'm gonna run counter to what everybody else here is saying, and say that yes, getting your dick wet is probably the first step for you towards not being a little first world problems whiny bitch.

I think we all want to live in this care bear fantasy world where sex isn't the single most important fucking thing that you can do in your life. Life doesn't work without sex. Not for us anyways. It is one our of basic functions, and saying sex isn't important is like saying eating isn't important. Yeah, good luck with that.

There are two basic drives that bring us back to our center, and put everything in perspective. Sex, and survival. If you are doing one of those things you are a lot less likely to worry about stupid shit.

Honestly, getting laid more often is probably the single largest step you could take to not over thinking shit. I don't care what other people think, it's true. I'm not here to give you some Dr. Phil, sex isn't that big of a deal, line of bullshit. The physical act of sex isn't a big deal that's true, but so far, everyone I've met has a brain that makes sex a big deal. It's so weird, it's almost like if you don't have sex that you're genetic line going back thousands of years is going to end with you.

In my own personal experience sexual frustration is more likely to make a dude go all first world problems retarded than anything else that I can think of.

gabriot · 2012-05-03T08:08:41+00:00

As someone who went far longer than you before he got laid, I'll tell you what changed after I got laid.

1.) I felt awesome for about a day afterward.

2.) I could technically say I wasn't a virgin anymore.

That's about it, I still felt about the same and still had the same feelings of inadequacy I had before getting laid. Those problems need to be dealt in other ways than getting laid, getting laid fixes nothing.

squarehouse · 2012-05-03T02:50:46+00:00

You know, the interesting thing is that sex is really kind of mundane, I mean real sex. You find someone who is willing to do it with you, she turns you on, you turn her on, the body parts start getting ready for each other, and then you do it. It's been happening for millions of years. Animals do it. Insects, which you can't tell the difference between the ving-ving and the vahoo, do it. Your parents do it. Those idiots down the street with the annoying sprinkler do it.

But we make it a thing.

You need to get laid just to learn how mundane the whole thing is. You could have this spiritual re-awakening the easy way, but no, you're going to have to do the deed. I turn down offers for sex, and not because I'm awesome and get so...much...tail (I don't).

I turn down offers for sex because it's too complicated. Everyone makes it into a thing.

It's not a thing.

It's just sex.

KINGCOCO · 2012-05-03T02:15:29+00:00

Sex is just one of many milestones on the road to becoming an adult. I think being self sustaining is by the most important, along with having others depend on you (kids). Is your job part time or full time? What is it? Do you live with your parents? Are you going to college? Tell us more about you.

The thing about your families reputation sounds ridiculous (no offense). A few generations ago everyone got married at a young age. Especially those that didn't go to college. Times have changed. These days getting married at 18 is, for most people, a horrible mistake. With respect to reputation it is an indication of low class and little education.

I'm trying to make sense of what you are saying. Do you feel that your generation sucks because they have no great challenge and feel entitled to everything, but you yourself don't feel entitled to anything? Or do you feel angry the world has not presented you with any great challenge, while simultaneously believing that the world owes you nothing. The latter appears to contradict itself. Which is ok. You are allowed to feel conflicting and irrational emotions. It's part of growing up.

2012-05-03T05:25:21+00:00

We are a generation of men raised by women, video games and porn and the end result is we turn out effeminate.

O_O

az3r132 · 2012-05-03T11:25:52+00:00

Lost mine at 14 and it changed me a lot. Made me an asshole really. Didn't get me money or anything, didn't remove depression. Fix your shit. I like how the whole pickup community has changed from game to fix your shit and master yourself. I really approve of that change. Its more about teaching you how to be a man now. Be a man buddy and the women will come. Oh and don't view them as girls view them as people. This video might help in that regard.

iznou · 2012-05-03T03:58:22+00:00

Well I do feel like once you have sex with a girl for several weeks you will learn something. I can't say what it is, but it's something. Then again, it's not like it makes you a better person--God there are so many douchebags out there who get laid all the time and never learn anything. But still, if a guy comes onto seddit and asks a question about game, sometimes the first thing I want to know is, have you ever had sex, have you ever been in a relationship, because it will show how much you know about women. If he hasn't been in a relationship, then I will probably tell him to try it out for a while, because he will learn so very much from it. Just from letting down your guard and trying to get to know someone like that.

But please know, all that's just one part of your life, and it simply cannot be the most important part, if you want to be happy.

The number one way to have more women in your life than you will ever be able to deal with is to have your own shit going on, shit that no woman could ever add to or take away from. A mission, if you will. A vision, perhaps. But something that is YOURS. We need more Man-caves in this country. It would help marriages tremendously, I really believe it. "No honey, don't disturb daddy while he's in his study. He'll be out soon, come on let's play with some toys until he comes out..."

Anyway I will tell you that I lost my virginity at 18 but it was a one-time thing, and I had so many fuckups after that, so many many fuckups, I'm still fucking up, and did you know that guys come on to this website with questions like "guys I am getting laid all the time but this one girl, she's a 10 and I can't seem to figure out how to get her, what do I do?" So every guy has this kind of problem, and we have got to stop putting the pussy on a pedestal, personally and as a society.

The next time I got laid after age 18 was one year later, at 19. I had no idea what I was doing. The relationship lasted 2 months and somehow I was fixated on this girl for like 2 years after that. Hah!

Then I had a 1 year relationship I probably shouldn't have been in, and then a 3-year relationship that I am very grateful I took a chance on. Then another OK one and now I'm single and happy. And still have so much to learn.

So yeah, get your mind right, money right, ready for war. And shit will fall into place for you, I promise.

No more fantasies, it's time for motherfucking reality. Live in it.

fecal_matters · 2012-05-03T05:58:12+00:00

I lost my virginity when I was twenty, only a few short months ago. Don't sweat it. I was expecting this big huge epiphany to happen the second it was over, but everything was exactly the same. Virginity means nothing. It is just like anything else, it only has the value we assign it. While you are a virgin, it has all of the value in the world. It is like turning 18, before you are 18 all you want is to be 18 so that you can be an "adult" but when you finally turn 18 you realize you as a person have not changed at all. I understand your hang up, I was there. If I could go back and tell my virgin self anything, it would be: stop assigning value to this thing that society has told you is incredibly important, because it is not important.

akr8683 · 2012-05-03T20:29:40+00:00

you sure do bitch a lot

2012-05-04T02:49:18+00:00

All I can see is your thinking way to hard about this. Who cares if your family gets married at 18? who cares the we are a generation raised by women? Those thing have nothing to do with you loosing your virginity. I lost mine at 17 or 18 (cant remember) and wish I had waited untill it was with someone that mattered to me. Paitence is what really matters, begin to learn that and things will fall into place.

2012-05-04T17:35:46+00:00

Fucking a girl will make you the virgin who had sex. It isn't a cure, if anything it is a curse in which you seek out sex and it oozes into your life (and depending on how addicted you are, you may do regrettable things). I agree with all your points, if it helps my ritual is psychedelic, it was my way of growing up.

pualive · 2012-05-03T01:57:38+00:00

I think you may have watched fight club a few too many times. No one on these boards can help you identify your desires. It sounds like you are plagued by too many choices, which translates to a lack of focus. Identify what you want out of life and then do it. If it take money, then focus and get some money. If it takes a specific type of knowledge, then surround yourself with that type of knowledge. It sounds corny, but we are the things we do most frequently. It doesn't sound like you are doing that much; therefore you're not getting as much out of life. Focus that intention of yours! O, and getting laid only solves things temporarily ... (read: band aid on bullet wound). You could always fuck a hooker and find out OR just go after what you want ...

aaronob · 2012-05-03T02:10:31+00:00

It's what ever you make of it. I was horrible with chicks and didn't have any luck until I got into a LTR. I just got out of it a few months ago, and it has definitely boosted my confidence anyways. The chick I went out with is really hot, if I could keep her steady with me for 3 years, why can't I at least score one date with other hot chicks? The other thing that helped boost my confidence is a job. I work in sales so it helped me practice small talk and persuasion.

TL;DR Scoring with a girl will boost confidence and help at least some. But it all depends what you make of it. You need to put yourself in the right mental state.

madprops1 · 2012-05-03T02:23:06+00:00

Control your thoughts. You have a car, a job, and a penis. Go find yourself a nice young lady thats single. Thats all you need man.

szukai · 2012-05-03T03:18:45+00:00

The thing about being a virgin, is that it's really only a label that you, and only you pay attention to.

The only other time it's an issue is when you're in bed with a girl. To be frank, if you're already there at that stage... it's not an issue either.

keikenamarinai · 2012-05-03T14:34:40+00:00

19 ain't nothin'.

I'm 26 and I still don't feel grown up. I asked my uncle about this (he's 62) and he says he doesn't, either. Say what you want about contemporary society, but would you really rather live in another time?

uglyfrog1 · 2012-05-03T20:49:52+00:00

Will you be a man afterwards? Depends. How does one define being a man?

Edit: philosophically speaking.

LitaKinochan · 2012-05-04T02:01:50+00:00

At least you recognize that you have issues, that's the first step to fixing them. Tossing out your sense of entitlement and the selfishness should be easy. Go out and see reality more! Step away from reddit, video games, and porn. Volunteer, find constructive hobbies, and if you have money, go travel the world. If you expose yourself to a large variety of people and cultures, I'm sure you'll come out of the experience feeling more "grown up" and able to interact with people.

Getting laid is not your real problem, nor will it fix your problems. You're young, there's a whole life ahead of you. Don't allow anxiety or anything else manipulate you into ruining the time you have. Please don't obsess over sex and women! They're real human beings just like you.

And for the record, there's nothing wrong with being raised by women. Think of the single moms that work hard for years to raise their children right, after the father abandoned them. And loving lesbian mothers are just as good as heterosexual parents! It's discourteous to brush them aside with movie quotes, "We are a generation of men raised by women". Fight Club is quite thought provoking but it's still a movie, not reality.

We are a generation of men, with no common purpose with no war to fight, with no fight to win

I want you to answer a serious question for yourself. Do you really want a new war to start just so you and your generation can have glory? Is that really what you want? Again, I don't think you completely grasp the reality and implications of this. Real wars are nothing like your beloved video games. Most of the casualties of war are civilians, not soldiers. This is one selfish idea you have to get rid of. If everyone wanted war, human beings would be reduced to savage, primal beasts. There would be no longer be science or reason. Honestly, world peace and nonviolence are much more important than affirming your masculinity.

Here's a Charlie Chaplin quote for you, hopefully it's not cheesy in this context, "You have the power to make life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure." I can tell that you're not stupid, you deserve the opportunity to be happy. Thanks for reading and feel free to pm me if you want to talk.

tl;dr There are a lot of things you can do to change your life. First off, get in touch with reality.

jBlak · 2012-05-03T01:27:52+00:00

Just make it seem like you haven't found anyone good enough to bone, yet.

Marro78 · 2012-05-04T09:03:34+00:00

At any age, a man will always say they wish they got laid sooner. Seems as though the rest of the comments give you your answer. But....I've gotten "let's just be friends" because I refuses to stop playing with a 1$ yo-yo while hanging out with a girl, I nearly jump up and down for good chocolate, I will make a blanket fort at every opportunity i get while back home, my parents still pay for a lot of my bills as I am not ready for them yet....and guess what, I am a MAN!

Title	Still a virgin at 19
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	27
Date	May 2, 2012 11:01 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t43y0/still_a_virgin_at_19/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/still-a-virgin-at-19.1332098 https://theredarchive.com/post/1332098

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