I'm lonely and tired of fapping. I haven't been on a date in 2 years.

FLPUA · 2012-09-08T18:32:17+00:00

I just don't know where to start.

Start by reading these blogs:

Chateau Heartiste (Roissy) (you wanna read this thing COMPLETELY... read all the fucking entries. All of them. Start with his "16 Commandments of Poon".

Roosh Vorek (also another one to read entirely) He has a book named "Bang" that's THE BOMB! You wanna read Bang as soon as possible. It's on Amazon in paperback form and Kindle too.

Read Neil Strauss' "The Game". That'll get you in the mood to learn game. It's a great story and you'll smooth sail as soon as you finish it.

Generation Nihilism is a really cool blog, and his stories are fucking awesome. He's an early 20s dude.

The Islander is my blog. If you wanna read my stories, I suggest you start with this one

I've been on ADHD meds for the last 5 years

Tell your doc you're having low horniness, he'll switch it out for one that makes your dick work. Also, if you're taking Concerta, I hear the effects wear off after 10-12 hours, so you should be back to 100% horniness after that.

I'm 27 5'8'' 180lbs.

Is that 180 of muscle or fat? I'm guessing fat. Time to hit the gym and start eating healthy. Even with all the confidence and tightest game in the world, if you're fat you're not getting laid. Looks matter, and when it comes to your body, it can be fixed, so fix.

I'm going to join a dance or singing class this week.

There you'll meet dancers and singers, not all necessarily sluts. If you go to bars and clubs, you'll meet more sluts that put out quicker and more ONS. If your intent is to meet girls at these places, I suggest you read Roosh's "Day Bang". It's on Amazon too.

I honestly think Im discouraged from trying to contact girls on okcupid and pof.

Don't do online game. Just stick to approaching in real life. With online it'll take you 1 or 2 extra steps to get laid.

Get started. Remember the 3 most important things in game are:

Confidence (fake it till you make it)(this is your inner monologue and it's supposed to be saying "I'm the shit, I rock, I'm the shit, I rule, I'm awesome, I'm better than you, etc... This is why stupid guys start getting laid in their teens) I'd say overconfidence is cooler than actual confidence.
Abundance mentality. (fake it till you make it) This means you don't give a fuck about a specific girl, because you have 10 others to rub you down and suck your dick at a moment's notice. This you have to fake initially. This attitude will yield TONS of interest from girls. Stop putting pussy on a pedestal.
Ability to physically escalate (kino. This one can't be faked, just learn to escalate physically as soon as you meet a girl. start off innocently and slow, then move from there).

All 3 are required. All 3. You combine these 3 with proper looks (ok body and not fat), provided you don't live in the middle of nowhere, and I guarantee you the results you want: be it sex with 100 different girls, a long term relationship, or whatever it is you seek.

This takes a lot of work and it won't come easy. Time to get going.

Good luck,

-The Islander

PS: feel free to ask any follow-up questions

Edit: to add some more stuff.

benchleyspacetime · 2012-09-08T17:45:11+00:00

First of all /r/NoFap is where you need to be. Not fapping for a while will really increase your sex drive and you'll have a lot more motivation to talk to women. I have a lot of past experience with that one.

Second of all, read around here and find out the basics of a good approach and start to try them.

Once you have a little bit of success in approaches you'll love 'em, and you'll slowly get that confidence back up.

If you don't have confidence with you're body then head over to /r/Fitness and perhaps even /r/malefashionadvice.

didthemall · 2012-09-09T00:50:43+00:00

Thanks everyone! I'm going to be reading these thoughtful posts all week!

d0odx · 2012-09-08T18:38:13+00:00

Find some meetups that you like (meetup.com) and just start meeting people -- doesn't have to be for the purpose of finding a woman but i think that just being out and about will put you in a much better state of mind and better chance of meeting someone.

2012-09-08T20:47:53+00:00

Are you better off dealing with the ADHD in other ways? After a year on meds, that's what I found- perhaps you should discuss it with your doctor if it's affecting you so strongly.

BartmanJSimpson · 2012-09-09T02:37:29+00:00

These are both people from /r/malefashionadvice. Merely changing your haircut and wearing nicer clothes can drastically change how you look. When you change how you look you feel like a new person and that changes how you feel and you can gain so much confidence.

Hair

http://i.imgur.com/dyXiP

Clothes

http://i.imgur.com/9Qr4H

Turquill · 2012-09-09T03:46:48+00:00

Ok here's what you need to do. It's what I did when I was in your position and it worked for me. First, ask yourself what do I want? How do I want to be? It's good to have a goal so you can stay focused on it throughout the way. I was inspired by Ryan Goslings character in Crazy, Stupid Love. I knew I wanted to be exactly that. Second, do shit. Do the shit that you need to do in order to become who you want to be (which I'm sure is something awesome because who doesn't want to be awesome?). Three, don't worry about the women work on being the awesome person you wan't to be. Once you become awesome, the girls come as an added bonus. Women love awesome men. Four, stay active. Go out meet people that have common interests as you or learn something new. I find that dancing is definite plus because bitches love dancing. It's ridiculous how much they love dancing, plus you get more comfortable around girls because you have to touch while you dance. It also teaches you to lead, how to use your masculine awesomeness to sway your partner. If you get good at dancing, and you got the confidence to back up, your set! If you don't want to dance then sports is good, or learn to cook, or play an instrument. Just do something! Five! Build your social life. Meet both men and women and then meet their friends and their friends friends, and so on. Eventually you meet people who know some of the people you know and bam! instant commonality and if its women it's even better, you the approval of her friends. Six, don't depend on your dating website. Seven, read. Read about communication or something motivational. I read several books that got me on the right path. I recommend The Alchemist. And finally Eight is a list of things. Stand straight, smile, shower, wear clothes that fit and match, for the love of God wear matching socks. I know not a lot people see your socks but at least you know that if for some reason you had to take off your shoes in public that your wearing matching socks! Feels good!. I recommend /r/malefashionadvice once in a while they have cool things. Although the majority of the people subscribed are young professionals so if you are in middle, high or first years of college you won't find much. Workout, I know it's difficult but eventually you get into the groove. I recommend taking a picture of yourself shirtless when you start so you can compare yourself as you progress. have a fresh cut, give some form or shape to your beard if you have one. Man up! just fucking man up. Women are not attracted to a man who squeals like a girl when he see's a roach. So just man up, pick it up and say "It's ok honey, I'll take it outside" Bam! all of a sudden you are Superman in their eyes! Smile, laugh, tease, tease, tease. Have girl friends, and all types not just hot ones, have lots of them so you can get comfortable with girls. That's all I got but I promise that if you follow these steps you will become a much more confident man. And man o man, the things that you can do with confidence! So be strong and stay awesome!

Mr_Zarika · 2012-09-09T04:40:10+00:00

David Wygant.

mabd · 2012-09-08T20:15:33+00:00

Get off the speed

DrDeath666 · 2012-09-08T20:05:25+00:00

I've accepted the fact that I'll be forever alone with all the money I'll need and an elite gaming PC.

Luminaire · 2012-09-08T18:35:41+00:00

It seems like the girls are either taken or flakey.

When meeting girls in a public place, some may be taken. The rest say they are taken, or are flakey usually because you did something wrong. Could be appearance, body language, things you said, also could be they are in a bad mood, or just nasty.

Your success improves with practice, but it takes hard work, a lot of it. If you haven't approached at least a few hundred women yet, and you're basing your experience on a few approaches, then you need to get out there more. There are days, especially when you are just getting started that you can get blown out 20 times in a row. It happens.

If you want to speed things up, and have some extra cash, take a class. They vary in price. Some of the best outfits, like Love Systems are quite pricey. A good trainer, especially for a weekend-long class, can find the things you're doing wrong and help you correct for them.

nikkals · 2012-09-09T01:49:02+00:00

Seems like you've got a lot on your plate- and that's ok. The key is to pick one thing and start slow so you don't fall back into your shit habits after a week or so.

If I were you I would work on kicking the ADHD meds first thing. I was on them for two years and while at first they gave me incredible energy, focus, social skills, and made me fuck like a pornstar, after about a year I was a zombified loser who was antisocial, unproductive, addicted, and couldn't even get it up. These are straight up amphetamines after all (and definitely not good for you). Slowly kicking them over 3 months was not easy but the best thing I've done for myself.

But no matter what you pick, stick with it and try not to take on everything at once. Bad habits built over years take time and persistence to break, but you CAN break them.

thejokermask · 2012-09-09T02:36:21+00:00

Add meds have embarrassed my cock. Not taking them every day anymore.

didthemall · 2012-09-09T03:50:55+00:00

Sounds like you should start going to the gym, and going to bars / local community college and talking to every hot girl you see.

2012-09-09T06:46:15+00:00

we're same age and hieght, 180 isn't bad at all, Im 185lbs which is very much not muscle.

Just eat a bit healthier and you'll be fine, I get plenty of ass even though I have a small beer belly

hidethemilk · 2012-09-09T09:40:23+00:00

Please disregard this comment. Using as a quick link for my buddy.

falafin · 2012-09-09T10:53:50+00:00

I haven't been on a date in 19 years. What do i do guise

2012-09-09T17:47:39+00:00

First get yourself in order. Then think about women.

Women are not the goal, they are the reward.

D-Tranq · 2012-09-09T22:14:30+00:00

I have adhd and I don't take meds for it. It is possible to retain information while having adhd, it requires you to study your mannerisms and thought process. Once you understand why your brain works the way it does, you can plan around it. When you accept the fact that it is a part of who you are, you can make it work with you rather than against. I game much better in social settings where there is a lot going on and crazy impulsiveness is the norm.

TidderAtsug · 2012-09-09T04:07:59+00:00

Go make yourself available. talk to girls. You'd be surprised

2012-09-08T23:05:17+00:00

First step is to stop fapping. It's a crutch

derpnyc · 2012-09-08T19:06:15+00:00

fap with the other hand?

r2the0ck · 2012-09-09T03:17:03+00:00

Grow some balls and get some pussy

ask-a-physicist · 2012-09-08T21:40:27+00:00

okcupid.com

Title	I'm lonely and tired of fapping. I haven't been on a date in 2 years.
Author	didthemall
Upvotes	153
Comments	112
Date	September 8, 2012 5:19 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/zk8zj/im_lonely_and_tired_of_fapping_i_havent_been_on_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-lonely-and-tired-of-fapping-i-havent-been-on-a.1338884 https://theredarchive.com/post/1338884

Comments