Was at a party last night, opened a girl, and everything was going well. Out of nowhere some douche swoops in and literally blocks me from talking to her. How can I handle these situations?

Swag_Turtle · 2012-09-30T19:52:01+00:00

Yeah you tell him to move the fuck over. If you would have confidently manned up, she would have been going home with you. Or you engage him and punk him. Fuck with him. Make fun of him in a funny way. Or, physically assert yourself.

circa7 · 2012-09-30T22:11:14+00:00

Seriously? If you were actually vibing with her, walk around the guy, look her in the eyes, grab her hand and guide her to a better location. If he confronts you then call him out. Ask her, "this your boyfriend?", she says "NO", and you just shake his hand, introduce yourself and tell him you're taking yours and hers conversation elsewhere. If he confronts you you have to call him out in front of the girl. He'll back down the second you do.

n1cey · 2012-09-30T19:58:53+00:00

Eye contact is really important, but for most of us social interaction is 70% body language.
Lean over, whisper in her ear and say "I am moving to the bar/down stairs. Join me."
Go a little alpha, touch his shoulder, shake his hand. Do what he does, only a with a sarcastic touch so the girl can see it. 4a. Interrupt and tell him not to intrude in the family party. 4b. Interrupt and say: "I see you have met my sister, she is wasted tonight so everything she says is pure bullshit"

Good luck

JhonnyT · 2012-09-30T21:37:41+00:00

I don't see how you can get muscled out of a like that without having allowed for it to happen. If the dude literally stands in front of you, you're well within your rights to tap him on the shoulder and ask him to move. Maybe wait a couples seconds, catch the girls eye if you can, give her a knowing smirk, raise and eyebrow, then tap him.

If he edged you out slowly and subtly in a way which made that not really an option, it means you ****ed up along the way and let him push you out. Force him to acknowledge you. It sounds to me like he walked up, started dominating the conversation, and you didn't really do anything but shoot the odd word in whenever he or the girl weren't talking. If you've already built rapport with the girl, you don't need to worry too too much about her in the immediate sense. You're further ahead than the other guy, so deal with him, force him to engage you as much as the girl, make it clear you aren't going anywhere, and he'll probably give up.

Anonypus · 2012-10-01T00:38:15+00:00

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nsgafc · 2012-10-01T05:19:54+00:00

I would've grabbed her and said "let's dance" regardless of there was music or not.

dandsed · 2012-10-01T00:08:51+00:00

What exactly did he say when he interrupted you and got in the middle? Honestly, I am impressed by what he did.

Seriously though, if he's your pledge bro, you need to call him out on what he did.

themanbat · 2012-10-01T04:09:09+00:00

In the future, say, "excuse me," reach over said douche, grab her hand and say, "we better get going or we're going to miss the movie," then lead her away. Preferably out of the party, to your car, and then straight to your place where you will pop in a DVD and proceed to help her deflower your precious rose.

well_clearly · 2012-10-01T07:26:34+00:00

Ask him he's up for a three some

throwdownunder · 2012-10-01T16:31:38+00:00

I don't game at parties but here's what I would try:

As he's approaching I would introduce myself to him, and then introduce the two of them. He can't really scoop her if I'm in charge of the conversation. Timing is tricky here so if I'm not on the ball I could easily miss my window. If it seems like I could pull it off I would hold her hand or introduce her as my girlfriend.
If I miss my chance to introduce, then I would engage him in conversation. If he's 100% blocking me, the girl will notice that he's being a douche. At that paint, she will probably be grateful if I pull her out of there. I'd either make an excuse to move else where or just grab her hand and pull her somewhere else.
If I'm not able to pull either of those off and felt like I had to leave, I would reassert myself in their conversation to at least say bye. This is the worst option, but by NOT doing it I feel like I'm telling the girl that I'm giving up. Even if she wants me, there's not much she can do if I've given up.

You are probably right that she didn't want to talk to the douche and that she'd rather be talking to you, but if you don't act on it, she kind of doesn't have a choice. There's no way for her to assert that without your help (and still be an HB9 if that makes any sense.) It's like she was at comfort level 10, then the douche came in and now she's at a 7 or so. But in order to get back to level 10, she'd have to go down to comfort level 4 (douches aren't easy to shake). Girls really hate being uncomfortable. They feel it ten times more than guys do.

So your job is to make her choose: "Hey, would you rather be at comfort 10 or comfort 7 right now?" By not doing that you were saying "I'm not willing to be uncomfortable for a minute to pull this off" which communicates that in a relationship you are also probably not willing to do what needs to be done, which is unattractive. All of this is a nicer way of saying "women don't aren't attracted to pussies."

She's not thinking any of this consciously by the way. She's just like, "Oh, I thought that first guy was cooler than this second guy, but now I guess I was wrong."

It's a fine line because you want to handle the situation in the smoothest, most comfortable way possible. The douche has the ability to make the situation very uncomfortable, probably past the point you are comfortable with. All you can do is man up and try. If you back off first, he's basically won. If you don't and you go past the point where you are able to deal with the situation, then you both lose. If the situation escalates and you don't lose your cool, then you'll probably be okay. If the guy is a psycho that's going to be tough to pull off though.

tall_geek · 2012-10-02T01:28:27+00:00

Very easy!

Here's the scenario: I'm talking to a girl, one on one, she and I pay full attention to each other. Some dude walks in, I'm still full attention to the girl and still talking to her, switching threads if necessary like I'm not even noticing him. Then what likely will happen, the girl will acknowledge him and look at him. If she is distracted and now is paying attention to the guy, I have to do something quick. So I turn to the guy, with high energy and smiling widely "hey, dude, what's up. Cool party, shake his hand. It's really nice meeting, you're awesome dude, high five", now I take the girl by the elbow, we both turn away from him and walk over to ... whatever, the bar, the couch, show her something. Or just claw a girl, get in between the dude and the girl, shaking his hand "very nice meeting you, I'll catch you later, have fun". If the dude tries to access the girl, you're in front of him, shaking his hand and complimenting on his choice of shirt etc.

2012-09-30T22:13:41+00:00

That's such a shitty situation haha. Good post, this has happened to all of us before.

2012-09-30T23:50:24+00:00

It depends on the guy to how I normally deal with it.

I've had guys try to pull this shit on me quite a bit lately. Often the guy will try to lower your value by saying something like "you look scrawny" or something similar. In this case just be unresponsive, maybe just say, "whatever dude", don't engage him and if he continues to give you crap just lead the girl from the situation. If you retaliate it will look like you're trying to prove yourself and you don't need to.

If he doesn't engage you and just engages the girl you have to be dominate and responsive straight away, if you give him the time get into a conversation with her you run the risk of just looking jealous. Look him in the eye and say something like, "excuse me we're kinda busy right now". Be cool, and don't be overly aggressive, just be calm and dominate with your voice and body language. Hopefully he will leave but if he gets aggressive just be unresponsive and lead the girl away from him.

kyune · 2012-10-01T02:52:11+00:00

Either call him out or give her an opportunity to walk away (lets get some air, or hey I want to show you/introduce you to....)

innitgrand · 2012-10-02T09:40:15+00:00

What you could also do is introduce yourself to him and say "but if you want to talk to me you'll have to catch me later on, I'm having a pretty sweet conversation with Eve (or whatever her name is)" If he continues, you can go for a "dude, I just told you, if you really want to talk to me, find me later"

This frames him as a guy who wants to talk to you although everybody knows he doesn't. When he's gone you can continue on this with: "I wish I was more ugly, I wouldn't get hit on so much" with a half-joking sad shake of the head.

AFC_to_PUA · 2012-09-30T19:50:12+00:00

He just had better game than you. He is a perfect example of what you should have done in the first place. Lock her in so noone else can come and interrupt. The only thing you could possibly have done is do exactly what he did back at him.

I am sorry man, but I salute whoever took this HB9 for his fine game

AFC_to_PUA · 2012-10-01T03:32:01+00:00

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2012-10-01T01:16:00+00:00

punch him the face and kick his ass like the bad ass mother fucker you are. Your wallet says bad ass mother fucker on it right? well it does now. so start a fight. guilloteine that pussy and kick his teeth out while hes passed out

vulture47 · 2012-09-30T22:41:11+00:00

"I'm sorry but I was talking to her", in a calm but loud and assertive voice while looking in his eyes. If he's starts bitching move her somewhere else and lock her in like he did.

Also when a new guy joins the group shake his hand but squeeze a little to hard, this may seem innocent but it really asserts dominance.

KaiserVonScheise · 2012-09-30T20:46:22+00:00

only thing you can do is draw direct attention to it immediately. like "wow, dick"

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