What do you do if all your guy friends are taller and better looking than you?

BigGeek43 · 2014-08-17T02:28:22+00:00

I had a buddy at work who was short but was funny and so much fun to hang out with that everyone paid attention to him and not me. I'm 6'4". Become good at conversation. Talk to people a lot. Fail many times. Learn the game.

Dr_Insomnia · 2014-08-17T04:39:06+00:00

As a man with a 5 foot 3 inch stature, I can tell you that yes, it does suck when it seems like all the ladies want Mr. Tall, Dark & Handsome. If your best friends are those kinds of guys, well that sucks because you feel like the third-wheel at a high school football game all the time. I am lucky to be good looking, but I am often described as "adorable", "cute" etc instead of "sexy", "hot", "manlicious". But what is attractive? Is it physical or emotional? I would say both and varies with every person. So what do you do about it? I for one, don't stress that I'm short. I don't let it bother me and if it comes up, I laugh and make light and quickly move on. Maybe buy her another drink.

I speak with a firm voice. I come from a military background and know how to make a room jump to their feet - people have told me 'for what you lack in height, you make up in presence' - and that's it, you have to rule being short. You have to figure out qualities about yourself that 'go beyond' your height so people stop seeing you as 'short' and instead see you as 'confident, quick, funny, charming' etc.

Go places, do extreme shit and then talk about it casually and fucking bam, your suddenly twenty-hundred times more interesting than your tall friend who only knows basketball.

And since you said you don't think your as attractive as your friends- work out or work out harder. Get ripped, devote yourself to yourself and give all you can give to making yourself a more confident, fitter and interesting you. It sounds to me like you talk yourself down, let yourself out of things, compare yourself a lot - well stop. Obviously you're trying, right? Try harder and try different things. Don't sit around and wonder why your tall friends get the girls, do something about it. Girls like height, but they like winners more.

Dear_Prudence_ · 2014-08-17T05:44:22+00:00

Go out and game by yourself.

Then you'll truly see if you're not getting girls because of your friends, or because of you.

When you go out alone, you have no one else to blame for your misfortunes but yourself.

ImJustSo · 2014-08-17T02:40:50+00:00

It's all about how you perceive yourself and carry yourself. I've been the guy that everyone ignores and I'm currently that guy that everyone tries to impress. I've gotten older, wiser, and more attractive, and I know that it wasn't because my looks changed. I changed.

If you walk like a bad ass, talk like a bad ass, act like a bad ass, get spoke about like you're a bad ass, then you're just a fucking bad ass.

And on the inside I'm still a fat fuck that never got laid in high school. Lucky for me, no one notices that because they're too busy thinking, "Fuck, what a bad ass!"

imthemanyesiam · 2014-08-17T02:48:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MrSparkle666 · 2014-08-17T06:31:34+00:00

Go out by myself?

You got it.

It builds character, and makes you a more interesting person. Don't use friends as a crutch.

patrocles316 · 2014-08-17T07:42:31+00:00

I'm in a similar situation as you in terms of height and friends. I'm 5'4 and the "runt" of our pack. All my guy friends hover at least 5 inches taller than me, are good looking, and have high level degrees as well (dentist, pharmacist, medical doctor, engineer, etc...).

Well guess what, just because I'm short, doesn't mean I can't be good looking or choose to go into a high level degree path (scientist). I don't see my group of guy friends as a single pack with one leader; I see us as separate leaders coming together. So how can I be made equal? Well, I work out as hard as I can, dress as nicely as I can, and most of all PRESENT myself as best I can. What you lack for in height can easily be made up by many other factors.

Also, you have to realize that certain situations are not good for us short people in general (Nightclub) unless your presence is out of this world. This will immediately cause you to falsely equate things like bars = tall guys only. You can easily meet women in less charged places that you enjoy and are most comfortable in. Once you have developed your charisma in places you are comfortable being, you can push it forward to more challenging scenarios.

Remember the point is not to be yourself, but the best version of yourself. Unless there's some magical medical breakthrough in which you can extend your legs and spine, the best version of yourself does not include being taller. It does include you being well spoken, well dressed, well shaped, well educated in your passions, and most of all, well adapted as best you can to the world around you.

magicroot75 · 2014-08-17T14:12:23+00:00

5'3" here. Some girls really care, some don't. Your odds will be better with shorter girls, although many here on seddit claim they give you more shit for your height. I never really get this. Girls shorter than me are way more responsive. You don't have to be some crazy alpha male. Most girls just love being approached and chatted to. I say this having done at least 500 lifetime approaches. Ask yourself what you're looking for. Do you want a girlfriend taller than you? I don't think I would. If you can dance, girls quickly melt. I've had many react to my approach with disgust only to be giggling over me after a couple slick moves.

Height preference in females is just a remnant of evolutionary selection. Do you get upset because you can't reach stuff? No haha. Do you get upset because you wear smaller clothes? No. These are the only real differences in height.

I disagree with assume attraction escalate for girls more than 3" taller than me. You have to be realistic or pickup becomes less helpful and more delusional. If you want a taller girl you will have to resign yourself to a lot of nonproductive rejection. When height is the deciding factor for a girl rejection becomes a sobering experience with not really much to learn from it. This is the hand we've been dealt. Its a hell of a lot better than being blind or hungry but there is a tough realization to accept. But remember that everyone has to deal with rejection. Height is certainly not the sole deciding point for most women. I like to think of being shorter as seduction on hard mode.

Bayarea_guy · 2014-08-17T04:07:17+00:00

Man on man! All my buddies were not only 6+ but also more educated, physically fit and had better jobs. When we went out they attracted lots of females but after few minutes they knew who was more fun, stable/calm, and who was DTF. My friends had them for first 5 minutes and I had them for rest of the night. TLDR- be fun and confident and show everyone food time.

hostergaard · 2014-08-17T10:49:37+00:00

I was visiting my sister and ended up going to birthday party for a female friend of hers.

At the party there was this other female friend of hers, a pretty and bubbly 20 year old girl with an easy laugh. Quite enjoyable to be around. She had brought her boyfriend along. A balding 30 something man with prodigious stomach big enough to put his cup on and he was barely as tall as she was. Something like this.

Yet this ugly man sized beach ball had one of the most amazing girls at the party pregnant; they had been together for while and was looking forward to having a child together.

How did he do it? By being entertaining to be around. While he was there nobody was bored for a minute. Not that he was running around making a fool of himself, he simply kept the conversation flowing easily.

Its all about personality dude, you need to be a person where when you leave conversation halts and things become boring.

ninja-1000 · 2014-08-17T18:58:37+00:00

I wouldn't necessarily say my guy friends are better looking than me but they are all taller and more built. Because of this I did seem to have the same problem.. at first. BUT now however I'm the only guy who is actually landing multiple phone numbers a night.

The biggest thing I can tell you is be as different from them as you can. Wear brighter colors, be memorable, and use your shoulders to make your presence as big (if not bigger) than theirs. Also they all talk to girls the same, so I tend to pause when I say hi to a girl and comment on their necklace, earrings or something like that.

This is your time to make your personality pop. Bottom line is you were dealt a different hand than them. So play different cards. Thats the only way to gain an advantage

pancakeses · 2014-08-17T03:14:07+00:00

Try to keep in mind that "better looking" depends on the viewer, and that not everyone finds tall attractive. Add some confidence (real or assumed) and good posture and you'll be fine.

james8807 · 2014-08-17T04:18:32+00:00

work out, study hard, eat right.

Be the best you can be and it will shine. cream always rises to the top

negroewebster · 2014-08-17T05:48:11+00:00

Be funny, stupid and the life of the party. Most important is to realise that the girls you want will rarely if ever approach you, so you have to step up and make shit happen by yourself

darthcamronius · 2014-08-17T08:08:44+00:00

My friends are better looking than me, but I'm taller than them, and the girls seems to be all over them. There was even a time when one girl hit on all three guys I was hanging out with, but not me. I just don't get it. One of them is 5 feet tall! I'm 6 feet!

SouthpawTheLionheart · 2014-08-17T08:29:52+00:00

Don't hang out with them, be a lone wolf.

midnightpainter · 2014-08-17T12:04:18+00:00

Own who you are. Don't be ashamed of it.

WonderKnight · 2014-08-17T13:00:13+00:00

I have a quite unattractive friend, who gets about the same amount if not more girls than most of the attractive friends we hang out with. None of us get how he pull it of, but he has mastered the art of not giving a fuck. Also, lower standards.

DamnitCrohns · 2014-08-17T14:42:35+00:00

If you're approaching girls it doesn't matter who your friends are - how often do you cold approach a girl with your entire group of friends lol?

DaygameCoach · 2014-08-17T15:10:22+00:00

This is one of the ways I got good at game. When I was new, I had 2 tall, good looking Europeans (once was super built) as wings in bars. What i learned was that they got the IOIs...but it didn't mean they had super tight game. One basically let his muscles do the work. So...I learned in bars NOT to look for IOIs but just to open open open...and things went really good for me. I didn't even look for eye contact, I just walked around the bar opening over my should as i walked by girls and running solid attraction.

Obviously, 8 or so years later...I have a different style now since I get the IOIs now (and am I coach), but that is how I started. BTW, I'm short, a little chubby, balding, and older. :) Looks help but game helps too.

Cuisine daygamer.net

EternalJin · 2014-08-17T16:51:25+00:00

You become as attractive as you can be. There are girls that will like you. Work on your game and don't worry about who likes your friends,but not you.

RH0K · 2014-08-17T16:57:02+00:00

Get muscles

FakeColours · 2014-08-17T17:04:45+00:00

Im 6'6" and get get play. Height doesnt do shit bruh.

livija · 2014-08-17T18:26:22+00:00

Opposite epidemic for female me. All my friends are shorter than me, they're the only ones that get any attention.

Darth_Dearest · 2014-08-17T18:32:19+00:00

Be the funny one. Seriously. I go for the funny one around 90% of the time. Basically it's a more mature way of saying "Hey, look at me!" Girls love a sense of humor. Another thing I've noticed in these threads is that many of the guys here focus on self help books and seminars/blogs. Why? Girls like guys who are well rounded. Go get a hobby. An interesting one. Watch a few popular shows. Like pretty geeky girls (hint: the cute geeky girls tend to like guys who are more plain looking)? Well, watch shows that interest them, or read books that interest them. Then you'll have interesting things to talk about. Many a time I would be talking to a couple of guys while I was out, and the less "attractive" one would catch an obscure reference I made, while his more chiseled friend looked at us both stupidly while I started laughing, my hand on the shoulder of the one who made me laugh, and slightly leaning on him for support. Don't like geeky girls? Find an interest that gives you something in common with the type of girl you go for. I'm telling you, this works. I've been a girl my whole life, so I think I should know.

reduser80 · 2014-08-17T19:23:07+00:00

Go out solo. I personally don't even like hitting on girls when my friends are around.

joshsway · 2014-08-18T02:09:20+00:00

Being out with good looking guys gives you social proof. It's going to be hard to get the 'hot girl of the group' if she initially only approached or talked to you because of your good looking friends, but the added social proof boost should get you in with hotter overall groups and in the end, probably help you get girls.

Xstream3 · 2014-08-18T04:34:36+00:00

I don't have this exact problem (since most of the dudes I go out with are relatively similar to me physically)... But, when I "compete" against other dudes who are objectively more physically attractive (like legit tall, male model looks types) I can EASILY destroy them just by being more fun/funny. I used to seriously envy the taller guys but now I wouldn't trade my own personality for being taller or better looking. Most good looking guys have REALLY REALLY shitty game. Just be the life of the party type and BOOM insta-win

awillso · 2014-08-18T04:42:20+00:00

find short girls more in your league!

2014-08-18T07:55:44+00:00

Tom Cruise is like 3 feet tall. And Neil Strauss says he's the ultimate Alpha male.

EndOfTheUniverse · 2014-08-23T09:43:08+00:00

Imagine if Al Pacino was tall. Would he still be as charismatic as he is now?

Being short is an opportunity to develop your personality to attract attention. Or to peacock. Personality's a better long term investment however.

illiterateReed · 2014-08-17T04:55:49+00:00

I wish I could recall the source for this, but since I can't I'll do my best to paraphrase. You can use a crutch in one of two ways: lean on it or use it to propel yourself forward. You amigo, are leaning. You're looking at this situation and finding excuses instead of seeing it as an opportunity to improve yourself.

I get the sense you are, like many of us attracted to pickup, insecure at your core. Do whatever you need to do to deal with that and the rest of that bullshit won't matter. Do you find uglier friends? Is that really a solution? Because you will almost never be the most attractive/tallest/richest/ most whatever person in the room. And on a broader level you are talking about your friends like a fucking fashion accessory. Your friends should be people who you like hanging out with, not people who make you look good.

In conclusion, put on your big boy pants and stop making excuses. I say this with nothing but love brotha, but excuses are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

2014-08-17T03:44:03+00:00

boohoo.. you have to build attraction, your friends get it for free. it's not the end of the world, you just have to work harder. so work harder. the end.

shitsfuckedupalot · 2014-08-17T06:17:08+00:00

get their leftovers

Title	What do you do if all your guy friends are taller and better looking than you?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	146
Comments	78
Date	August 17, 2014 1:28 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2drlcj/what_do_you_do_if_all_your_guy_friends_are_taller/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-do-you-do-if-all-your-guy-friends-are-taller.1375190 https://theredarchive.com/post/1375190

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