Got rejected badly but at least I tried

manc4life · 2016-01-03T19:31:44+00:00

You did the right thing by trying! Be proud of yourself. I know it's disappointing she said no this time, but she's not the only girl out there and more importantly you took a step forward in approaching someone, female or not. Might try asking directly next time as well.

I just went through something mildly similar, but you'll get more comfortable in your approach. Great job dude and keep your head up!

Moxiecodone · 2016-01-03T19:45:23+00:00

Hey better than me. I don't do shit

ImJustSo · 2016-01-03T22:30:40+00:00

Just so you know, you shouldn't avoid her in the future either. Be happy, smile, joke with her still, etc everytime you're in there, then walk away without a care in the world. You gotta act like you don't give a single shit that she rejected you, and eventually this actually may lead to get regretting it. She will start to wonder why you don't give a shit.

Feelingfine14 · 2016-01-03T23:00:17+00:00

you should of honestly asked her out for coffee instead of giving her your name and number on a receipt it sounds weird reading it...be proud you tried but next time try to get her number not give her yours

AtlasAtlasAtlas · 2016-01-03T23:53:47+00:00

Dude this isn't "badly" she didn't tell you were a ugly, or a creep, she just politely declined. All is good, life goes on :)

duowreck · 2016-01-03T21:18:06+00:00

You did the hardest thing which is trying. For the next girl, as manc4life said, go more direct and just straight up ask her on a date. Also girls usually like to be the ones receiving the first text so try getting her number next time instead of giving yours.

Moxiecodone · 2016-01-03T23:50:15+00:00

You did not TRY,

YOU DID IT!!!

Trying is a false state of mind that doesn't exist.

YOU WENT AND DID IT.

You approached and spoke.

You risked your self.

You grew!!!!

Turlast · 2016-01-03T19:34:21+00:00

Well, you tried. That's better than nothing. On to the next!

The_master_hero · 2016-01-03T19:48:58+00:00

Good stuff man, it only takes one yes.

xzak · 2016-01-03T21:18:19+00:00

Hey man, well done. Really, well fucking done. There was no way of knowing if she would go out with you and you did all you could to find out the answer. Now don't feel bad, there are so many reasons why she wouldn't take the number, and most of them wouldn't even be about you.

Good job, do it more.

2016-01-03T21:56:38+00:00

You tried. You won.

2016-01-03T21:57:49+00:00

Good job, you learned

zomgitsduke · 2016-01-03T22:24:44+00:00

Nice work!

Your biggest challenge will be going back to there next time you need to buy something and not make it awkward. Just go in, be friendly, don't acknowledge the previous situation, and go on your way.

TBomberman · 2016-01-04T00:02:59+00:00

not direct enough

Death_proofer · 2016-01-04T01:48:21+00:00

I did the same thing but with a girl I went to uni with. We'd always been friendly but during 1 party she told me she split with her BF. I ended up asking her out and she said she might take me up on that offer. Turns out she'd been kind of involved with another dude and ended up with him. I felt like shit but I told myself hey, at least I tried.

i_am_Kevin · 2016-01-03T22:33:28+00:00

Props man...to even get that far

freddymerckx · 2016-01-04T04:19:17+00:00

Nice try but you should remember that girls who work cash registers etc get hit on All DAY LONG.

Sequitur213 · 2016-01-03T22:24:32+00:00

If it had been me, I just open up the 'add new contact' of my phone and pass the cell to them

Numbers on receipts and shit is better suited/more accepted as being a method girls use

2016-01-04T01:56:09+00:00

it sounds like trying to pick-up hired guns is way too advanced for you right now. you might not have realized it but you were holding her hostage for the past little while. if you talk to a woman while she's doing some sort of customer service type job she HAS to be nice to you and she HAS to put up with your shit. best case scenario shes going to eventually shoot you down. worst case scenario shes going to make you spend allll your money on whatever she is selling. even if she would normally give you a chance you ruin your value by making moves like this.

2016-01-04T00:30:14+00:00

I hate to be the hater here, but this isn't an optimal approach. If I were here I would do the same thing simply because it is weird and I would not want to get fired. What I would have done would be to ask her when she gets off, then approach her when she is off and ask for her number.

alsmoove50 · 2016-01-03T21:51:09+00:00

I needed this. I'm going through the same problem with the same type of environment (at work). I need the "enough is enough" attitude haha. Good job man.

hulk181 · 2016-01-03T22:36:04+00:00

It's ok man. It hurts a little now but that's part of the learning process. Every rejection you get hurts a little less than the one before and gets you closer to your goal.

Juhna · 2016-01-03T22:47:47+00:00

Well that is something that you should not take personally, when you say you got rejected bad i take that as you take it more or less personally, or more like the reason she doesn't wanna go out is you.

That is not always the case, everybody got their own lives, plans, problems etc and sometimes you just don't want any extra things in your life, not the right time.

So my point is don't automatically assume that the reason she said no was because of you, it might be, but then again she might just have enough on her plate right now with her life, so chin up :)

2016-01-03T23:22:53+00:00

Got rejected too! I texted her I liked her and she replied she doesnt like me

Czekraft · 2016-01-03T23:32:25+00:00

Maybe it's a professional thing. People act differently when they are being watched.

gcool7 · 2016-01-04T00:02:07+00:00

Whatd it feel like was your hearth pumping was it racing? Could you feel the blood in your veins ? Embrace that feeling and seek to like it

dumbkidaccount · 2016-01-04T00:03:45+00:00

You will never succeed without failing first dude

So good job , that was the first step of success !

fb6_swerve · 2016-01-04T00:46:28+00:00

you sir are way ahead of me, i admire you

lvlupdating · 2016-01-04T00:50:05+00:00

At least you tried! When bringing up a boyfriend you are already showing an IOI. Be careful with that in the future. Do you really care if she has a boyfriend? Try hanging out with her first without it being in a date sense. "Hey, what do you do besides work here?" "Oh, that's cool. You should check out X. My friends and I always go there on Friday and it is a lot of fun."

Best, Lvl Up Dating

Bluepass11 · 2016-01-04T01:23:31+00:00

Good job going for it, OP! I think the way you did it was smooth.

I do want to comment on all the comments saying variations of "you should have done it this way" though.

OP and the girl had built rapport, talked etc already. I highly doubt asking in another way would have yielded a different result in this particular situation.

tael89 · 2016-01-04T01:27:05+00:00

Awesome that you tried. It can be really tough to get the motivation to ask. However, this isn't a hard rejection. It sounds polite and direct, which is a great thing regardless of the direction. Continue with it. There's nothing wrong with continuing to crush on her, but at least now you nothing will come of it. You can keep looking out for "other fish in the sea". Good luck and happy New Year's.

shytake · 2016-01-04T01:28:20+00:00

Right on ya! You know what's worst than failure? Regrets. She probably just wasn't interested. She probably has her reasons. Trying and failing is much better than always wondering what would happen if you tried

2016-01-04T01:32:46+00:00

Its a numbers game Man dont let it get you down. It will curb your crush on her because you have solid closure. Bring on the next one you will feel more confident the more you try. Rejection can become less sobering if you look at it as experience racked up. Try different approaches but keep them natural.

2016-01-04T01:42:15+00:00

It's okay to get your feet wet with hired guns, but just make sure that you move on quickly to scenes where women are available and horny. Learn to love the game-time pressure that comes with it. Don't be afraid to succeed!

2016-01-04T01:46:37+00:00

Don't fear failure. — Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.

Bruce Lee. You did good. Respect to your attempt.

jefffffffff · 2016-01-04T01:47:52+00:00

Props dude. Now it's on to the next one.

nolotusnotes · 2016-01-04T02:38:14+00:00

This is how you get it done. Can you really expect to work 100%? No. Can you really, really expect it to work on the very first girl ever? Really no!

But you did the right thing. Keep doing the right thing and when it works, magic shit happens.

haezen · 2016-01-04T04:10:58+00:00

You tried, and you should be proud of what you did. Just think, this is one instance in potentially hundreds. Keep going, this is a learning curve and you've got past that first massive hump.

coolfir3pwnz · 2016-01-04T05:20:28+00:00

Do what Taylor Swift does and just...Shake it Off. At least you took the shot.

PixelBrewery · 2016-01-04T05:29:57+00:00

I'm proud of you, man. Good job. Getting her to go out with you isn't the victory, it's getting yourself to be assertive, and you did it.

2016-01-04T05:33:20+00:00

There's nothing better than knowing those what ifs scenarios outcomes. Now she lost her control over you whether she knows it or not.

svecer · 2016-01-04T05:38:36+00:00

Now you know you have the balls to try, and the world didn't end. Keep your head up, and keep trying.

geft · 2016-01-04T07:17:59+00:00

The first rejection stings the most. After the next dozen or so they will no longer affect you.

shitnpissfrankie · 2016-01-04T07:39:34+00:00

It awesome that you tried , but I would recommend being more direct , sounds like you played to not lose instead of playing to win .

And believe me the whole giving her your number is interesting in that if she actually called she would have invested a lot into the interaction , but in reality your asking too much of her.

shitnpissfrankie · 2016-01-04T07:39:34+00:00

It awesome that you tried , but I would recommend being more direct , sounds like you played to not lose instead of playing to win .

And believe me the whole giving her your number is interesting in that if she actually called she would have invested a lot into the interaction , but in reality your asking too much of her.

Bubba1996 · 2016-01-04T07:50:34+00:00

Best attempt EVER! You are a better man than i

tryhardblackguy · 2016-01-04T09:30:36+00:00

Good job man. Her lost! On to the next one man.

jamesgfilms · 2016-01-04T09:54:53+00:00

Sometime persistence pays off with some girls. If you get to speak to her again crank up the humour and let her see you are un-phased by her initial rejection.

kill_dano · 2016-01-04T11:55:39+00:00

Nice try. I think a good way to make it work would have been to find some common interest during the chit chat and told her to write her number down here so you could tell her about this book she needs to read or whatever the common interest is. Women love being able to imagine our interactions are innocent and it takes the burden of disqualifying you as a suitor off of her... When you kiss her you should nail her like splinter cell... She will appreciate it like that cause she is never put in a position to either disqualify you or not... stop giving her a choice in that way.

wontonamobae · 2016-01-04T12:10:16+00:00

Sounds like a victory to me.

Por_Zing_Is · 2016-01-04T13:30:07+00:00

Onya for havin a crack. Use it, now you've lived it and know its not a big deal so you can ask more girls more often. One rejection closer to the one who says yes

HazyAttorney · 2016-01-04T13:57:00+00:00

One thing worth mentioning is that you shouldn't take it personally. There's a million and one reasons that could explain her decision. Not all of which are aimed at you personally.

She could of felt awkward and on the spot. Remember that everyone's default is to say no. She could be a really busy person. She could have a boyfriend. She could be subject to a "no dating customers" policy. I don't know.

The point is that you shouldn't take it personally because there could be something going on in her life that prevents her from saying no that isn't necessarily you.

2016-01-04T15:15:24+00:00

Awesome way of dealing with it, no worries, that says alot. Just gotta shrug and carry on. :D

Vanqhuix · 2016-01-04T15:49:50+00:00

Guys I need some serious tips. I have been in the USA twice, and I love the country because of the people. People are so friendly and seem easy to approach. But I live in the northern Europe, where people are very introverted. Well, maybe introverted is a wrong word but they're very quiet and not easily approachable. For instance, if I go up and talk to a stranger on the street or sit next to someone in a bus I'm considered a fucking freak. The only "acceptable" place to approach women would probably be a club, but you know, it's not really too desirable place for me. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

edragon20 · 2016-01-04T17:29:38+00:00

"Hey do you like food?"

scrabaddict · 2016-01-03T22:44:54+00:00

Ouch! The positive is that you're not dead. You didn't die. You live to fight another day!

Several things: 1) you need to get comfortable talking to girls (not just romantic interests but all types of women (you probably had a deer in the headlights look which is creepy and signals discomfort), 2) focus the conversation towards something she's interested in (she can easily talk about herself) and 3) she's probably not all that so don't crown her ass.

2016-01-04T00:08:45+00:00

It's good that you tried. You can't be results oriented. That is just because you fail doesn't mean you played it wrong but in this case there were lots of things you could have done better. First off don't give her your number and ask her to call you. It's like waiting for OP to deliver. Even if she does/did like you she will not be likely to be the aggressor. It's up to you to sack up and ask for her number. Better yet, have something interesting going on and invite her then get her number and follow through.

Like I said don't be results oriented. It's possible you weren't her type but with the way you went about it you almost for sure guaranteed that she would reject you.

CinammonDude · 2016-01-04T01:37:46+00:00

Tremendous job. It's very hard to do what you did. And it sucks she said no but now you won't need to think about her anymore.

My only advice is that next time you're trying to get a date, ask her to hang out instead of writing your number down. It's a small thing but by writing your number down, you are demonstrating that she is in control, which in turn, whether she's consciously aware of it or not, makes her look down on you.

Imagine a guy successful with women. Would he do that? No, he'd say, "We should hang out sometime." If she said no, he'd say something clever like, "That's too bad. We would've had fun," and leave. If she says, "Sure," he'd hand his phone over and tell her to put in her number.

It's very hard to do this unless you are asking girls out constantly and therefore confident doing so. But by taking this one step, you've gotten closer to being that guy. Good job, man.

jeffer777 · 2016-01-03T23:56:45+00:00

by giving your own number, you put her in a position that would have made her look "too easy to get" if she would have accepted your offer and text/call you, which is what most women are afraid of to show off as too easy to get or just slutty. there are ways which could have worked in your situation, you could potentially get her interested by presenting yourself as a "high value man", which would be kinda hard to pull off in a short amount of time, except if she would have known or noticed you somewhere else, for example in facebook having a lot of friends and likes on your pictures, which I consider is not your case. second is that she could have noticed you as a rich person, that would have sparked her interest, but in this case she would seem off as a gold digger, which is not your case too. there could have been different options too. but your only option here was to get HER number, by not showing off as too needy, just being cool and confident. Just by reading her body language and following her moves and the way she speaks you could have tell if she's interested or not. In this case it wouldn't even matter much what she said to you, what matters more is the way she said it to you. If she's all playful and giggly, It's more than obvious that you sparked her interest. You can always ask for a girls number, but if you really want to get her number and go to the next couple moves after getting number, you have to notice those things above and dig deeper about how you approach. Good luck!

drummmmergeorge · 2016-01-04T07:32:47+00:00

You stop counting and stressing out after the 100th rejection. If you want to feel euphoria try captivating a Japanese girl, man. Does that shit gets me high.

sanketvaria29 · 2016-01-04T05:33:50+00:00

try again. keep trying on same girl, unless you get sure that she is really nnot interested. you said first that its uncomfortable for her at work, then it might be something else that turned her off. keep trying smoothly. actually i would say make environment comfortable for her first so she can give you enough attention.

Title	Got rejected badly but at least I tried
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	307
Comments	90
Date	January 3, 2016 6:28 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3zat6o/got_rejected_badly_but_at_least_i_tried/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/got-rejected-badly-but-at-least-i-tried.1400077 https://theredarchive.com/post/1400077

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