Don't let this take over your life

StewedJesus · 2016-09-25T10:12:59+00:00

I think this is really important, counterintuitively, during dryspells:

When you are havind a dryspell you will develop a tryhard attitude that is a major turnoff (you become needy)...

If you find yourself having a hard time it would be better not to work on approaches and stuff: just be social, enjoy your nights and days, meet new people (not necessarily women... make friends).

I think the main focus of this is feeling good so if you are not feeling good you better do something else (that will eventually help you in your objective too) for a while.

Deepfried_Fetus · 2016-09-25T10:34:54+00:00

I was just thinking about this! People get way too obsessed

Woujo · 2016-09-25T15:46:05+00:00

This is a great post. The number #1 attractive thing to women is a guy who is living a cool life and makes a genuine emotional connection with them. IF your whole life is trying to fuck women, your life isn't cool (at least to women), And if you are trying to fuck women using a script you can't make a genuine emotional connection.

Women are a side dish to an awesome life, not the main course.

ozzagahwihung · 2016-09-25T12:30:25+00:00

Also bear in mind that it's hard to let go of pick-up when you decide to have a committed relationship. It's not something you can share with her.

I'm going through this now.

HNTI · 2016-09-25T18:41:02+00:00

Don't forget that you don't have a life outside ~~seduction~~ work

FTFY

Bologna9000 · 2016-09-26T00:17:20+00:00

I might even be so bold as to say 95% of your success in seduction is based on your life outside seduction. gasps everywhere

mtl_dood · 2016-09-25T15:02:35+00:00

I was at Tam Tam's the other day. Its a weekly festival kind of thing we have in Montreal. There was this guy with 2 other friends. None if them were alpha looking. The main guy was like Style a bit. Shirt balding. Indian looking.

Anyway, he was obviously working on his day game. He was right in front of me and hut on every girl that passed by. Later his friends came down and congratulated him on doing a good job. The friends did not do any pickups. The one guy was the leader.

He flopped the first one. Came on way too strong. Escalated with touching. The girl was a 9. But she was super unpretentious. A girl next door 9. I gave her a stare as she passed me and she smiled back. I had one of those mini connections with her. And then bozo comes up and runs routine.

The second girl, she was like a 4. He did the same routine. Got a number.

The third girl was clearly not interested. He did routine and plowed a bit at the end. Total turn off. She sat beside me after and I could have used that guys display as an opener for myself.

But I have a wife and kid and although it would have been fun to sarge a bit, there would have been not much point.

Anyway, long story short, I think there is a clear difference between seducing a woman you like and just running up numbers. Even with the one girl he got a number from, there was clearly no connection. Even if he works her hard and gets a fuck out of it... What will he do with that?

Maybe he was just practicing. Fine. But it seemed like he already topped out on his ability. I think it would be better for most puas to find a few women that they actually like and then work on building something rather than just spraying into a crowd.

Stevejobswasboss · 2016-09-26T20:36:34+00:00

I think a lot of guys starting out make this mistake, its easy to just forget about what the real purpose is and instead focus on being a "pua"

shifu_shifu · 2016-09-25T14:25:02+00:00

I feel like I have to make pickup my number one priority to get that shit handled once and for all. Of course I focus on my studies too and I am active in various clubs, do sports etc. but getting good at seduction/being social, that's where I engineer the rest of my life around at the moment.

bones_and_love · 2016-09-25T23:58:59+00:00

Fuck that advice, if you think seduction is that important, approach as many women as you want. Learning how to hit up women is hard work for someone without experience, and things that are hard work can't really become addictions that take over your life. It's like how we've never seen anyone warn not to go to the gym too much and let it consume you... yeah people have the opposite problem with the gym just like they do with talking to women. (in other words, #1 and #5 aren't really a problem)

The only reason it can feel overemphasized is it's the first and largest obstacle for anyone trying to do it -- actually doing it regularly and not letting failure crush them. So places like this repeat that you have to participate often if you want to learn.

As for 2, honestly go take your moral judgments elsewhere. This is a subreddit about figuring out how to romanticize a relationship, not guide you on what types of relationships ultimately fulfill you. People can talk to their parents or a religious figure for a guide on this topic, or they can consult their own moral barometer or retrospect on what they want out of life and what they've been doing to reach it. You and this subreddit aren't here to tell anyone how "genuine" their relationship needs to be.

3, 4 just aren't problems. People without the skill will be more stiff and are more likely to use training wheels. They'll remove them when they start to get a hang of it on their own.

DodoStek · 2016-09-25T11:43:42+00:00

Thanks for emphasising this.

marchingprinter · 2016-09-25T16:00:17+00:00

Best post I've seen on here

erickkk · 2016-09-25T19:51:09+00:00

PREACH

curly_headed101 · 2016-09-25T21:04:30+00:00

I want to recommend Mark Manson's new book "The Subtle Art of Not giving a Fuck". If you liked Models you gonna find this one worthwhile too. :)

sephiroth_117 · 2016-09-26T00:46:31+00:00

I fucking hate this! How can I do anything outside seduction when everything is sex & after 3 minutes of being around someone new they size you up and already established a consensus about your person. Seducing is just such a masterful skill because for me it just feels like you can circumvent the hostility/threat of any situation and just let gravity do its thing to put the two of you in a more, only us to rely on vs world scenario. But before you know it something else happens and you drift apart. Please let me know if any of this makes sense, needed to rant it out.

My3centsItsWorthMore · 2016-09-26T04:45:38+00:00

I agree with this so much. Its one of my biggest problems with this sub.

Tiritoh · 2016-09-26T17:34:39+00:00

Can you please "ELI5" what abundance mentality means?

msmiitz · 2016-09-27T14:56:21+00:00

LOL LETS GOOOOOO TAKE ME OVER

msmiitz · 2016-09-27T14:56:31+00:00

HUNT FOR SLUTS

RottonPotatoes · 2016-09-25T19:28:53+00:00

4 & 5 = /r/niceguys

EDIT: Actually all the "vs" are /r/niceguys

Conotocaurious85 · 2016-09-25T18:20:07+00:00

What are the differences for each item in your list?

iamthesage · 2016-09-25T20:14:21+00:00

This is a good post. I sometimes have the tendency to approach just for the sake of approaching. And it is counter productive.

Title	Don't let this take over your life
Author	IronManSeduction
Upvotes	483
Comments	44
Date	September 25, 2016 10:07 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/54ejn4/dont_let_this_take_over_your_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dont-let-this-take-over-your-life.1412964 https://theredarchive.com/post/1412964

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