What made you guys start learning seduction?

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2016-12-05T18:52:19+00:00

I was a shy, socially awkward, very introverted, quiet, nerdy kid in school, no girl friends, no prom dates, nothing...and just woke up one day and realized I was not living my life.

I made all my decisions based upon fear, and never took any risks (with girls) to get any rewards. I had a paralyzing fear of rejection that prevented me from even moving if I saw a girl I liked.

Then, one day, I just started dealing with my Approach Anxiety, and realized there was NOTHING to be afraid of. I just started talking to everyone I saw. EVERYONE...guys, girls, ugly, pretty...didn't matter. I already had the "I don't give a fuck" attitude, so I didn't have any expectations to get hung up on. Girl wants to talk..great. Girl doesn't want to talk...too bad, her loss...move on...no big deal...there is always someone else to talk to...

After that, the rest was easy. I became very confident in my abilities and actions. I realized I am decent looking, dress well, make enough money to be comfortable and live an interesting life, and can be sarcastically funny when I try...Pulling the girls I wanted became easy.

Girls want confidence in a guy, initially. Be cool, confident, collected and comfortable...and the whole world can be yours...

lukky_pierre · 2016-12-05T19:21:31+00:00

I'd say I was a SAAFC - a slightly above average frustrated chump.

I'd had some girlfriends, some flings, some one night stands - some good-looking ones, even. But I wasn't pulling it off regularly, I couldn't figure out how to replicate past success, and I lacked choice. All my hook-ups basically came from getting lucky. Whoever liked me, that's who I went out with. I held bad frames because I was afraid to lose women - like, if this one leaves, who the hell knows when I'll get laid next? It could be like a year. So I behaved like an insecure and desperate weenie and got played a lot because of it.

I never had a problem meeting women. I got along with women, I had female friends. But if I was honest with myself, a lot of those friends were friend zone situations. I didn't know how to parlay a girl liking me as a person into a girl naked in my bed. I wanted to be the one with choice. I wanted to at least have a shot when I saw a woman I was attracted to. I wanted to get sex on my time frame and on my terms.

It has worked out quite well.

Ftramza · 2016-12-05T20:33:05+00:00

I think a lot of us will come from a place of hurt or anxiety. For me it wasn't starting off that I was "insecure", I've always been an attractive guy. But The one thing for me was being able to realize it's not about being a "nice guy" or a "cool guy", it's honestly about the best perception you have of yourself as possible.

I gained a LOT of weight I was about 260 (about 195 now). I didn't lose the weight because I thought women would like me better (at first I did), I lost the weight because I thought it would lead to a healthier lifestyle physically and mentally, which it did. I didn't get hobbies because I wanted women to find my interesting (at first I chased those odd hobbies, but they never worked out), I started to realize you chase hobbies you are passionate about and give you purpose. I didn't talk to women because I wanted to fuck women, i talked to women because I wanted to build relationships with people in general and be able to listen better, which resulted me being a better person in my personal endeavors as well as my professional. I because of this gained the perception that every person has something to offer. When talking to women my intention is to figure what that is, and see if she's worth me putting in effort. That's the difference. Coming into a conversation with a clear objective makes normal bullshit talk so EASY. Make your intentions straight.

I was the friend zoned guy, creepy guy, and the fat guy. I think at times people find these traits to be permanent, however all these behaviors can change. I can tell you your image of yourself greatly affects the person you become and are. I before allowed people to walk over me, even times when people would walk up to my ex and tell her how beautiful she is I was too pussy to say anything because I hated myself and how ugly I thought I was. This perception of yourself will only bring you to sadness. I always catered to everyone else, and never mended my own happiness. When you start to have your belief systems and start to accept yourself, you start to see people gravitate towards you. People don't like people that agree with them all the time, people enjoy people who challenge their beliefs, ESPECIALLY WOMEN. One thing women hate is a passive man who always agrees. Please don't.

Just ask yourself this question. If you looked yourself in the mirror, would you date you? It's important before we even begin to talk to women or "pick-up" success will only begin if you start working on the small things. One step at a time. I can say from experience it took me until I almost managed to hurt myself for me to realize my self worth.

To me there is NO SUCH THING AS A "nice guy", in reality he's not a "nice guy" if he's deceiving women right? A guy who's not willing to express his emotions so much that he passively agrees, is using manipulation. He's straight up lying to impress someone else. So by that logic how would that be a "nice guy" if you're intention is not authentic.

Vulnerability is one of the most important traits as men we should learn to have.

_primeZ · 2016-12-05T21:41:58+00:00

I grew up with no male role models in my life to learn from and my mother instilled in me from a young age the idea that any sort of interaction with the opposite sex must be strictly platonic until I'm an adult. This was of course disastrous. I turned to seduction to not only learn how to interact with women romantically, but more importantly to learn social skills and for personal growth.

Snazzy_Serval · 2016-12-05T21:25:56+00:00

I started learning about seduction in my early 20's. The reason why is that I had a completely lack of success of any kind with women. Also I had several women use me for their gain and I got nothing out of it at all.

I'm smarter now. Still no success with women though...

natephant · 2016-12-05T22:34:36+00:00

I never really 'learned' it. I've always been reasonably successful with women. A few years ago, while helping a friend and being his wing man I was approached by some guys who were out doing PUA and asked if I was 'gaming' and a bunch of other words I didn't understand what they meant.

That's when they mentioned things like the mystery method, and real social dynamics.

I immediately looked into all of it based on purely academic curiosity.

I agreed with some things... I disagreed with a lot of it actually.. I find 'how to win friends and influence people' and 'the 48 laws of power' are the most useful books, and you just need to adapt them to specifically women.

Then I found this sub Reddit and the rest is history.

BetamaxandCopyright · 2016-12-06T13:19:11+00:00

In my culture/country when you're 14-16 there is always an older bro or younger uncle etc. who sort of takes you under his wing and guides you through your journey into teen-hood (?) and early manhood.
I never had that, so when time came for me to go to high school i was woefully inequipped socially and psychologically. So i suffered through high school untill college where an angel sent from the heavens told me "Google Neil Strauss and Mystery"....

PUA_Mobius · 2016-12-05T19:46:13+00:00

I didn't have much success with women in high school. However, after HS I kind of settled into my groove and became okay with women. A few girlfriends, a few one night stands, etc. I was often cheated on though due to me being "too nice" throughout the relationships. I thought at first that I had bad luck but then I realized that if so many different girls could find it in themselves to cheat on me, the fault was likely my own.

Fast forward to me at a club with a mate of mine. Dude pulls 8 numbers in one night, from different girls. One same night lay and he's now dating one of those girls.

I asked him how he pulled that off. He told me to read "The Game" by Neil Strauss. While I was initially disappointed with the biography style of the book and how it didn't go into much detail with techniques and strategies - it did get me hooked.

grate314 · 2016-12-05T20:13:35+00:00

I don't remember where I read it, but there was an excerpt from "The Game" where Neil Strauss talks about getting Brittney Spears' number.

I remember thinking, "I gotta get this book!"

beastboi27 · 2016-12-06T00:52:39+00:00

I have lost so many opportunities for sex and relationships because of my anxiety and low self-esteem. I became a 350lb asexual fat boi..eventually I lost the weight. I became attractive for once in my life. Girls were giving me attention, but, being the inexperienced douche I am, I couldn't escalate. I just goof around too much with girls and don't try and make things sexy to open up those opportunities for relationships and sex.

I have watched pick up videos and gotten some great advice from Reddit. I know now that I need to tickle more then just a girl's funny bone. But also her pussy bone.

Congruenceislife · 2016-12-06T01:04:27+00:00

Was with a girl for 2+ years believing she was 'the one' the one I'd marry and have kids with, but university and life situations drifted us apart and that was messy. I knew the only thing I wanted was her, but realised that something was very wrong and the best course of action was to get with other girls, disnt know how and came here, nd stumbled upon the giant that is RSD. Shortly after I was actually doing quite well as a beginner, focussed mainly on online game but eventually ingot back with the ex...

Inevitably, we broke up again. I returned to my punk ass ways and she never changed really or was thriving with me and the relationship was one giant poison drip, after a few weeks of tears I got back out there and I was doing well, but only when I was drinking and did all of it unconsciously

I learned a shit ton of inner game and its damn good right now. But there was one thing that always bothered me. AA. As I mentioned in a previous post, I overcame it recently and am looking forward to going out and practising again, this time being direct and also in front of friends, something that I'm a little frightened of, I knowni will do it. All this in a 10 month window. More than I've done in 19 years...

leespin · 2016-12-06T01:58:05+00:00

Cause I'll never fuck if I don't put some effort in

DadOnDabs · 2016-12-06T04:05:44+00:00

Combination of not getting laid and hating myself every day for it. Glad Im not that person any more.

Zoltar02 · 2016-12-06T06:07:21+00:00

Definitely getting friendzoned, for some 'obvious' reason I decided that I just can't continue living my life like that, got to read that guide from TofuTofu, and just while reading that stuff I already felt like a different person, like something deep in me wanted it, the change. Want to still live for one woman, but want to be worshiped by many, even when you never say that.

the_christian_grey · 2016-12-06T06:15:23+00:00

My girlfriend in college used to watch the Pickup Artist on VH1 because she thought Mystery was hot. I saw an episode and was like "holy shit this is awesome!". My life has never been the same since.

My3centsItsWorthMore · 2016-12-06T14:33:40+00:00

I knew i had decent looks, but I almost never got laid, and never really felt like i knew what to do. I blamed it on a number of things, growing up in a guys school with only brothers. Not being popular in school. Just being the nice guy. But having excuses are bloody useless. I started by just trying to get instructional videos on how to dance better, and kept finding more videos until i realised there is a whole art to seduction.

sheabutter25 · 2016-12-06T16:01:27+00:00

Troughout my childhood I always thought I looked attractive but never was sexy enough or cool enough to get (I did have girlfriend's but never got laid) HB 9-10's. Early on in highschool I didn't get any type of pussy shit would be on my lap and I would fuck it up all the time. I had no actaul game I would always freeze up or be the nice guy. I ultimately just gave up after so many rejections. Then one day the pressure of all my friends making me the laughing stock of the school because I didn't have "sex or have any hoes" it fuckin hurt knowing that people shit on you because everyone but you is having a great time enjoying life.

So one night I wake up (by the grace of GOD) out of my slumber and put on the tv Conan late night show and one of his guest is Mystery promoting the "Mystery Method"(I still have the same copy till this day) I thought I have to have this fuckin book lol.. I ultimately get the book but didn't implement any of the stragies until i got wingman to back me up (A.A. is a bitch lol) the next 4 years where fun as hell I gained so much confidence abd got mad numbers abd had sex . It was crazy how many numbers I was getting people now wanna chill me just for being a confident dude. I ultimately left the lifestyle because I felt I wasn't being my real self constantly running routines and not being honest.

I wanted focus on school and acting so I left seduction behind(but always talked about going back too it). I became beta as FUCK and realized I missed out on a ton opportunities in college with women and with programs that i regert. Now that I am out of school I feel I have to make the ultimate plunge again this time 100%commit no short cuts. I also realize too that seduction plays a part in acting and I wouldnt mind utilizing that skill. I also want real bonding friendships and social circle lol..

MrPeacock5 · 2016-12-08T04:29:26+00:00

I couldn't ask my high school crush to prom. And I found out about the PUA community a year later

Title	What made you guys start learning seduction?
Author	stingraybjj
Upvotes	25
Comments	29
Date	December 5, 2016 6:37 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5gnl5y/what_made_you_guys_start_learning_seduction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-made-you-guys-start-learning-seduction.1416587 https://theredarchive.com/post/1416587

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